@northcoastposse was called a top 5 twitter follow by the actual Cleveland Browns 

Believe it or not folks, but Big $ is nothing if not a contrarian.  So it might reason that I'd steer away from draft analysis due to the sheer volume of hot takes floating around.  Over the last few years, though, a backlash has erupted over the presenting of post-draft grades.  Therefore, I felt it was my duty to steer directly into the backlash and whip up my own 2016 Browns draft report card.

In honor of the new Pencilstorm Hall of Fame class, I will be using a scale of 1-5 ice cold cans of Budweiser as my tool, with 1 can being "just not right" to 5 cans being "yessir, that's a mighty fine start."  So without further adieu, here is the NCP's assessment of Hue and the $ballers first Cleveland draft:

1st pick: Corey Coleman, WR Baylor

I truly thought we had hit the rock bottom of idiocy when some Browns fans professed faith in Johnny Football's future as an NFL QB.  New earth was dug up though, when the tweets that compared Coleman to Travis Benjamin started popping up.  Forget that Coleman is 2 inches taller and 20lbs heavier than TB, there is absolutely no way to compare their collegiate output.  Coleman is a playmaker in the OBJ, Brandon Cooks, and Jarvis Landry mold. Super-pick for a team void of playmakers

Grade: 5 cold cans of Bud   (Get some Corey before we continue.)

2nd pick: Emmanuel Ogbah, edge rusher Oklahoma St.

This kid absolutely looks the part and produced big #'s in the Big 12.  He seems to have a good head on his shoulders and earns points for owning some sort of pro wrestling championship belt.  My one concern is that his motor has been questioned, which is a scary word when describing high round picks. (Click here to watch him run at the combine)

Grade: 3.5 cold cans of Bud

Pick 3: Carl Nassib, DE Penn State

High Character, High Motor, Big Frame and we Buckeye fans saw him produce in person.  Hard to knock this pick up. (Click here for highlights)

Grade: 4 cold cans of Bud

Pick 4: Shon Coleman, OT Auburn

What else can be said about a kid who beat cancer and spent his draft day with other kids fighting their own battles?  Well, he's got an ideal balance of upper body strength and athletic feet which is becoming more and more rare (see Cam Erving).  He did have an mcl issue, but that is small potatoes to this kid.  Pencil him at RT week 1.

Grade: 4.5 cold cans of Bud

Pick 5: Cody Kessler, QB USC

Did I see this coming?  No.  Do I trust Hue?  Yes.  Do I dislike Connor Cook immensely?  Definitive yes.

Grade: 3.5 cold cans of Bud

Pick 6: Joe Schobert, LB Wisconsin.

Can you have too many High motor, High character, Highly decorated players?  Probably not. "The Show" will get time inside and outside and is chomping to play special teams.

Grade: 4 cold cans of Bud

Pick 7: Ricardo Louis, WR Auburn

There are no shortage of SEC games on TV, so I've caught a few of this kid's games.  What I witnessed is a wide receiver whose hands don't seem to work correctly.  This pick was a head- scratcher.

Grade: 1 cold can of Bud

Pick 8: Derrick Kindred, S TCU

Nothing flashy here, tough kid at a position of need.

Grade: 3 cold cans of Bud

Pick 9: Seth Devalve TE/WR Princeton

Another confusing pick: injury-prone guy with chronic foot issues.  The one thing I will say is that he must of done something right to get a bunch of Harvard guys to draft a Tiger.  However, he would have been available post draft

Grade: 1.5 cold cans of Bud

Pick 10: Jordan Payton, WR UCLA

Good hands (145 catches next to 6 drops over the last 2 years).  Finds the end zone and will work the middle.  Value add all around.

Grade: 4.5 cold cans of Bud

Pick 11: Spencer Drango, OT Baylor

Another highly decorated, productive player from a solid program.  I think he'll move to OG and hold down the right side with Shon Coleman

Grade: 4 cold cans of Bud

Pick 12: Rashard Higgins, WR Colorado St.

This guy's nickname is "Hollywood Higgins."  'Nuff said

Grade: 5 cold cans of Bud

Pick 13: Trey Caldwell, CB La Tech

You can't have too many cb's in today's NFL.

Grade: 3.5 cold cans of Bud

Pick 14: Scooby Wright, LB Arizona

I know this guy was all-world a few years ago, but the footage of him awaiting being picked seemed to indicate that he may have attempted to finish 275 of the 300 fireball shots Johnny Dbag purchased in c-bus last Thursday.  Beware of the Bro.

Grade: 1 piss warm 4 loko

Overall: I'm simply confused by this feeling of optimism.  Solid dudes, needs addressed, playmakers assembled

4 cold cans of Bud for the new regime.