“Now that you’ve seen a few episodes of Holey Moley, here’s an inside look at the making of a mini-golf rockstar…The Golden Arrow. Holey Moley airs Thursday nights at 8 pm on ABC-TV. Columbus, Ohio rocker Lizard McGee of Earwig makes his network debut on the show this Thursday, July 30th.”

PART 2: THE BOWIE OF MINI-GOLF - by Lizard McGee

I play guitar and sing in a rock band. This is well established. But I don’t think that a lot of people know that I also golf. I have a nine hole, true Scottish-style course on my secluded property deep in the hills of southern Ohio. Last fall I applied for and was accepted as a contestant on this season of ABC’s hit show Holey Moley. I filled out the online-form and hit send without ever even having seen the show. I’m always up for something crazy. Turns out that I had no idea just how crazy it would get.

Many of the players on Holey Moley are serious golfers. The hazards are fun and the jokes are goofy but the competition is intense. I met many great people and it was an amazing adventure. The process from my initial application to final selection took several months. I used that time to really work on my golf game (I studied Zen!) and refine the image I was pitching to the show’s producers. I think my true personality came through and I ended up focusing on the fact that I’m a rock star… and that I have 17 cats (but that’s another story).

There are 96 final contestants and there were whittled down from thousands of submissions. I didn’t get the final confirmation that I was going to actually be on the Holey Moley until about 2 weeks before the filming was scheduled to start. Somewhere along the way the producers had asked me to fill in the blank… “I am the ______ of Mini Golf.” They kind of encourage you to brag, so I shot back…“I am the Bowie of Mini-Golf.” I even wore the Aladdin Sane lighting bolt face make-up in one of my Skype videos with the producers. They loved it and asked it I would wear that make-up on TV. Of course I said yes! With some difficulty, I learned how to self-apply the make-up. The day before my flight to L.A. they told me that I couldn’t wear the lighting bolt on TV because of copyright issues. It was a clutch moment and they figured that I would just ditch the make-up. Never fear… I came up with something better that was all my own. I chose The Golden Arrow (complete with new a make-up design) as my new persona. The Golden Arrow is something that I based off of a lyric I had recently written, “Like a golden arrow in the sky, let me fly.” I had been singing the new song in my head when I worked on my putting as a way to help my ball find it’s path to the hole…like a golden arrow. This became my new mantra.

The competition on Holey Moley was stiff with many pro and semi-pro golfers. Some contestants are flamboyant but most of the players on the show are straight. If you know me, I’m anything but. I was also one of the least experienced golfers that I met on the show. Along with many golf professionals the show features several celebrities and Instagram Influencers. Of all of the cool players that I met, not many had come through the online submission process. The producers hand-pick a lot of the players and source them from other reality TV shows. I was a bit surprised, but it was a cool mix. The wardrobe department dresses the players in hi-end golf attire so they will look good on TV. I let them know right away that I would not be wearing the typical, lame golf clothes. I’m a Rock Star and I will dress like a Rock Star, thank you very much. This was my 15 minutes of fame so I wanted to make sure that I looked cool on TV and stood out from the crowd. I was told that I couldn’t wear any t-shirts with logos or promotions for my band Earwig or the Silver Baby Cup golf event, so I decided to roll with the Bowie look and got a Life On Mars suit online. It was fairly low-budget suit and didn’t fit well at all. With some help from my ever-lovely wife Michelle we made a few small alterations and got the suit in shape in time for my trip to L.A..

Here’s a quick iPhone video I made of me in my Bowie suit as part of my pitch to the show’s producers. I sent this video before I was confirmed on the show. I wanted to give the producers a taste of what my style would be. This is also when I decided to name my putter Ziggy. I had started sleeping with my putter every night in order to form a stronger connection. It’s true. I even told the producers as much in my interview. We’ll have to wait and see if my nocturnal habits make the cut.

You can watch Holey Moley on Thursday nights at 8 pm on ABC. I signed a Non-Disclosure Agreement and can’t reveal how I did on the show so you’ll just have to tune-in to see me rock-out.

Returning to Ohio after the wild ride of filming Holey Moley was strange indeed. The quarantine was beginning to take effect and I made it home safely but just under the wire. I went through a bit of culture-shock that first week fueled by jet-lag and bad news. Everything began to shut down and I lost my job. Each passing day seemed to get darker and darker as I tried to adjust to the new changes. It’s been several weeks now and sometimes it still feels like the world is an ever-expanding bad dream. That being said, there is light if you look for it and I’m thankful for the changes that we are experiencing. Here’s to change.

That first week back, I spent some time in front of my piano, which is not my usual instrument of choice. But I worked through it and managed to write a song that captured how I was feeling. It’s called “Forbidden Planet” and it’s available for free on Bandcamp. I hope you’ll give it a listen.

Forbidden Planet: https://lizardmcgee.bandcamp.com/track/forbidden-planet