There’s a reason Two Cow Garage have built the following, reputation, and respect that they have – and it has as much to do with their live show, work ethic, and human character as it does with their recorded output. Other articles can be (and have been) written about all those things, but today we’re talking about the records.

Ranking of a band’s albums is kind of silly. It’s somewhat of an exercise in futility, and certainly subjective. Let’s face it, it’s just something done to get people talking. It’s not a competition after all! But when a band is coming up on their 20th anniversary and their last release was five years ago [edit: except this killer new surprise song!], why not take a look back at each one and try to put them in some order? I know, your list is different than mine - how could you put THAT record THAT low!?!?!? That’s cool – they’re all great, it’s just for fun, so let’s dive in!

7. Please Turn the Gas Back On (Shelterhouse Records, 2002) Two Cow’s debut album might be a bit derivative in 2021’s eyes – treading lines somewhere between the Goo Goo Dolls strongest and poppiest Metal Blade-era stuff (queue Micah cringing) and the alt-country bands talked about in heavy circulation in email groups and on message boards at the time (queue Shane’s eyes rolling), but when you put it up against other debuts by their peers, it certainly stands up. Songs like “Youngstown” and “Forget You (Try To)” have aged well, and it’s much more than just a showcase of potential…but there were better things to come.

6. Speaking In Cursive (Shelterhouse/Suburban Home, 2008) This is an inspired set of songs by a band well broken-in by endless miles and countless shows. “Humble Narrator” is still in rotation live and would certainly be on any “Best Of” compilation. Shane’s “Glass City” is right up there, too. If it suffers from anything, it’s a little inconsistent as you get deeper, but there are also moments where they’re starting to show signs of heading in a new direction – “Wooden Teeth” for example, where the energy and volume barrage take a back seat to melody and more complex composition and arrangement that would become more prevalent on their subsequent releases.

5. Brand New Flag (Last Chance Records, 2016) Perhaps the most “band” album in the discography, and the most recent. BNF saw the addition of Todd Farrell to the lineup, and he brings some youthful energy (and sweet-ass guitar playing) to the mix. Shane’s “History Now” is one of his best, and songs like “This Little Light” and “Let the Girls Be Boys” show a side of Micah that would develop into brave and fearless new directions on his solo releases. If we’re looking for faults and trying to justify why this isn’t higher, I’d say it’s just a bit stiff at times, maybe still feeling out the addition of Todd in the studio and the new directions in songwriting, who knows? But remember, there are no losers here.

4. III (Shelterhouse, 2007) This record to me feels like the first act of two, with Speaking in Cursive as the second, but it’s got an edge, energy, and consistency that aren’t quite as prevalent on SiC. It’s also the darkest record they’ve done, leaving me wondering at the time if there would even be a 4th album. Songs like “No Shame” and “Should’ve California” are so full of regret, disappointment, and aimlessness that it’s a wonder they’re still kicking 14 years later. Those songs along with “Come Back to Shelby,” “Now I Know,” and “Camaro” make it one of their more fully realized and consistent albums.

3. The Wall Against Our Back (Shelterhouse, 2004) AKA “The Red Album,” their sophomore effort was a big jump from its predecessor with better songs, a more aggressive attack, and most notably, the first real dive into a sound of their own - still borrowing from their influences to an extent, but finding their own voice and gaining comfort in their own skin. The band still had some growing pains ahead, but this is near the top because its among their most consistent, and certainly their most raucous. Brent Best’s production served the material perfectly, though future releases would be more diverse and demand a more complex sound palate. These aren’t their best songs and it’s not their best sounding album, but it’s probably my personal favorite because it’s so bombastic and it seemed so exciting and important at the time. These kids were learning dynamics and hooks and finding the joy in the unspoken communication that only comes from sharing the stage together so many times and seeing each other at your best and worst in the middle of the night, God knows where. The youthful energy, sonic attack, and other more undefinable elements are what make it great.

2. The Death Of The Self Preservation Society (Last Chance Records, 2013) The title track might just be TCG’s finest moment to date, with it’s operatic arrangement, echo-drenched guitars, and screaming horns. It reminds me of The Who’s Tommy with it’s transitions, parts, arrangement, and scope. The band sounds loose and comfortable, and it’s one of their most consistent front-to-back efforts. The addition of David “Murph” Murphy on drums and horns played no small part in all this. It loses some points with a bit of a muddy sound, which, depending on your taste might detract from the music or might be the audio-equivalent of the cover of Dylan’s Blonde on Blonde – gloriously perfect in it’s blurred imperfection. Behind them are the tales of throwing in the towel on rock & roll and ahead are deep-rooted analysis on social and cultural issues and inter-personal turmoil.   

1. Sweet Saint Me (Suburban Home, 2010) This album checks all the boxes – it’s got elevated songwriting, diverse material, spirited performances, and the best production and sound in their catalog. Songs like “Jackson, Don’t You Worry,” “Sally, I’ve Been Shot,” “My Great Gatsby,” and “Wanted to Be” all demonstrate a band firing on all cylinders, a bit comfortable, a bit tense, and just the right amount of unsure to lend some spontaneity. It’s tight when it needs to be, and loose enough to keep it real - there’s squawking feedback and chaotic moments when you need them most, and it slows down just a couple moments after you start gasping for air and need to catch a breath. The production is punchy and clear, a fantastically written, played, produced, mixed, and sequenced record of great songs.

What is your favorite?

There’s still gas in the tank, and the current lineup with George Hondroulis and Jay Gasper is as good or better than any previous, though they’ve yet to make a record together. Sadly, their anniversary show at the Rumba Cafe on August 21 with Garbage Creek and Call Me Rita was postponed because of Covid concerns, which also triggered the delay of this article.

Jeremy Porter lives near Detroit and fronts the rock and roll band Jeremy Porter And The Tucos. Follow them on Facebook to read his road blog about their adventures on the dive-bar circuit.
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