Tom Petty Fans Were Right to Hate The Replacements - Jeff Hassler

In honor of tonight's Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers sold-out Value City Arena show, Pencilstorm re-presents this Jeff Hassler offering from our archives.......  

The reunited and better-sounding Replacements are coming to Columbus this week and needless to say Colin, Greg and Ricki C. are just gushing about their greatness everyday at the Pencilstorm office. Brian Phillips is the worst of the bunch and since we co-manage a fantasy baseball  team together there is NO escaping his CD1025 elitism. I like The Replacements OK, but one of the best bands ever? please... I thought "Don't Tell a Soul" had some good stuff on it. And the video for "When It Began" was pretty cool with the claymation and Tommy and Paul playing an accordion and banjo. Nice to see them maturing musically and not just falling back into a safe "Hootenany." But seriously? Those early records sound I like I recorded them on a Sony walkman. Totally amateur. Just saying!

I accept the fact the 'Mats have long roots around the 614. Hell, even Ricki himself got offerred a chance to roadie for them. People love to idolize how they showed up, got messed up, couldn't sober up and then the show was disaster. But since it's the holy Replacements, all is forgiven. Colin always makes fun of me for liking Bon Jovi but the bottom line is that bands like The Replacements and - I hate to say it - Watershed just never really had any mainstream success. Is it sour grapes or jealousy or the same thing? (No offense, CG, still love ya.)

Anyway, one of the more popular "old wives" tales is how the Replacements got their big break by opening for Tom Petty on his wildly successful Full Moon Fever tour but were too cool to even bother trying to win over Petty's fans, drawing boo's and catcalls until the 'Mats eventually quit the tour with their tails between their legs. To hang around Pencilstorm, you would think The Replacements were like the next ELO, and Petty's fans were just too stupid to appreciate them. That is FALSE.

Let me tell you, I was at the Petty / Mats show at Pine Knob in Michigan and the Mats deserved the cool reception they received. First of all, they came on ten minutes late and when they finally started playing the sound was really rough. To quote Slim, "not half bad, but ain't exactly good." And apparently they were too cool to hire a keyboard player to help out, so the songs from Don't Tell a Soul sounded really different from the record. I mean, a record company spends all that money printing and promoting your record and then when they finally get you in front a big crowd the songs sound different? That's just bad business. No wonder The Replacements always had trouble moving product.

Even worse, they made NO attempt to win over the Petty fans who were paying attention, if not enthusiastic. Hell, it was so loud you had to notice. There were no sing-along sections and I'm pretty sure they didn't even say "Hello Cleveland" or anything funny like that. I thought these guys were supposed to be funny. Sure, there weren't many people in their seats yet and I only counted around ten standing and clapping, but they could have tried a LITTLE harder. There were THOUSANDS hitting beach balls on the lawn seats. Way bigger than playing Staches. Just saying!

Anyway, the set mercifully ended and my future and now ex-wife Kim and I headed backstage for a meet & greet with Tom Petty himself. SCORE! A fraternity buddy of mine had an internship with Petty's record company and the fact that he was also Kim's ex-boyfriend didn't hurt either. Anyway, we are hanging around the green room with about thirty other people and in walks Tom Petty himself! Wearing a top hat and smelling a little…you know.. green…AND acting TOTALLY professional: "Hey folks, thanks for coming." Just as Kim and I were set to have him sign our cassette of Full Moon Fever, Replacements bassist Tommy Stinson lurches into the room, grabs our cassette out of Kim's hands and scrawls "TOM PETTY IS MY DAD" right across the cover. RUINED.

He pulls the beer out of my hand and chugs the WHOLE THING. Let me tell you, he didn't need any more alcohol. Listen, I'm not a teetotaler by a long shot. Just the previous spring break me and my frat brothers from Sigma Ki went to Panama City, Florida and let's just say Club La Vela was NEVER the same. Kim wasn't pleased. (Long story!) And big deal if Petty smokes some weed before a show. No cops backstage that I saw anyway.

But Stinson, he was SO drunk he kind of fell into Kim, put his head on her shoulder and started talking about how lonely he had been since his brother had been kicked out of the band. Pathetic, really. Kim, back before our divorce and the lawyers and hooking up with Russ, used to be very nice. She used to always take care of people. She used to be so kind-hearted. Writing this story now, I wonder why she changed. Anyway, she helped him up and asked, "Tell me Tommy, why did they kick your brother out of Tom Petty?" 

"Because he wouldn't play… Free Falling……" He started to tear up and asked Kim, "Could you help me back to find the tour bus, I need to take my allergy medicine or my eyes will get all red. I should take a shower too. Please?"

I gently grabbed Kim by the shoulder and said, "Kim, I think he has had too much to drink and he isn't even in Tom Petty, that's Tommy Stinson from the Replacements."

She pushed my arm away and said, "DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE, JEFF"

I protested, "I'm not trying to start a fight. I just don't think its a great idea you going back to the tour bus. Besides Tom Petty is about to start."

"Why are you having a cow? Tony always said you were like this but I never believed him. Now, I am starting to think I was wrong to leave him. Especially now that he is a starting a successful career in the music business and you are STILL working at Subway."

"But Kim, I was just....."

"But.. But.. But.. Jeff, I am going to help Tommy back to his bus for some pills and a shower and then I will meet you back at our seats. Be a gentleman and grab me a large Bud light OK? I'll see you in thirty minutes."

"Ok, but I still don't....."

It was too late. Tommy and Kim walked out of the back of the green room. I felt really bad because I was kind of a dick. Here is Kim, just being the kind soul and me, getting all jealous. I knew I had to chill out or I was going to mess this thing up. I started humming "If You Love Somebody, Set them Free" by Sting as I headed off to the concession stand. I got back to our seats by the third song, "Listen to Her Heart." I just knew this would be the song Kim would return to. She would "Listen to Her Heart" and re-appear. 

She didn't. BUT the next song was "Free Fallin'" and I was sure she wouldn't miss that one. It was her ALL TIME FAVORITE TOM PETTY song. She loved the line about Elvis and horses. She used to always sing that in the car when we would drive to G.D. Ritzy's between class. She wasn't a bad singer, really.

But she didn't come back. I was starting to get really worried by the time I finished off hers and mine 38 oz draft beers when suddenly I didn't feel very good. I tried to walk around by the tour buses out back to get some air. I started yelling, "KIM! KIM! It's Jeff! Where are you? Kim!"

Around that time a couple of big guys wearing shirts that said "Security" grabbed me and pushed me over the top of a chain-link fence and I landed rough on the gravel of the main parking lot. I don't know how long I laid there but when I finally collected my wits and rubbed the gravel out of my hair, the parking lot was empty except for maybe 25 cars where there had once been thousands.

Kim was standing by my blue Toyota Celica disheveled and noticeably upset. 

"JEFF! It's almost three fucking thirty in the morning! Where have you been? The concert ended at eleven and I have been waiting here since 2:50. What the fuck have YOU been doing?"

"I'm sorry, it's just that I got us both beers and when you didn't come back I must have drank them both and I don't really remember what happened after "Even the Losers"  Wait, you just got back to the car at 2:50? Where did you get those red boots?"

"At this point, after the way you have treated me, I don't feel like talking but if you must know, Tommy Stinson from Tom Petty gave them to me."

"But why did you get back so late? I don't under...."

Kim cut me off, "Don"t be an asshole Jeff" Just drive me home, I have aerobics class tomorrow at 9 am at Larkins. If we leave right now we can make it. You drive since I need to sleep."

"Okay."

To read previous Jeff Hassler stories please click here 

Anyway,  this is Jeff again, TOTALLY not pro… Watch this show opening for TOM PETTY with a striptease. Kim thought Tommy looked cute but I just didn't see the point. 

FAIR USE NOTICE: This video may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. I believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C.

Journey Was The Bridge Between 70's and 80's Rock - by Wal Ozello

By Contributing Pencilstorm Writer, Wal Ozello

This coming Friday night, April 7, Journey will finally earn their rightful seat in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  Unfortunately, the controversy around whether or not former front man Steve Perry will be in attendance has overshadowed the importance of this band in Rock history. (Also... how about no word of all the other players including founding member Gregg Rolie?)

Much like their hometown Golden Gate Bridge spans across the bay and connects San Francisco to Sausalito, Journey effectively connected 70's Classic Rock to 80's Power Rock.  Rooted in the San Francisco sounds of bands like Santana with a thick mix of blues, rock and jazz, Journey evolved over the years with different members much like their fellow 2017 inductee: Yes.

You can still hear their classic rock roots on their earlier albums like Infinity, Evolution and even Departure. Listen to the 70's feel in the chord structure, guitar and rhythm sections in both these songs, while the 80's feel of power rock can be felt emerging from the melody and keyboards. 

Where the band begins to push the synthesizer and arena rock envelope is in their much more successful albums, Escape and Frontiers. Here in Separate Ways is a prime example of where Neal's angry hard guitar meets power synth, topped with driving drums and bass, layered with Steve's bluesy and emotional vocals. 

For all intents and purposes, Journey invented the Power Ballad with songs like Send Her My Love, Opens Arms and probably the best 80's ballad ever, Faithfully. While the piano and vocals dominate this song, it's really the pounding, massive drum fills and wailing guitar solos that really make this song stand out.

Journey never transitioned into the MTV generation well, and due to Steve Perry's personal issues (his mother passing away during the recording of Raised on Radio and a degenerative bone condition discovered after the release of Trial By Fire), the band never had the success they had in the late 70's and early 80's.  Steve had a shortlived solo career while Neal and Jonathan teamed up with John Waite from The Babies to form Bad English, then Neal went on to play in Hardline.  Journey has tried to rekindle that magic over the years and now are basically a touring band with their new singer, Arnel Pineda.

There are many reasons why Journey belongs in the Rock Hall. Don't Stop Believin' is the most downloaded song in history. All the members of the Escape/Frontier line-up are virtuosos in their own right. Steve Perry has one of the most awesome voices in rock, Neal Schon plays a killer guitar, Jonathan Cain's talent as keyboardist is only superseded by his songwriting skills, Ross Valory plays a funky rock bass and Steve Smith is a god on drums.

But the most important thing is the impact Journey has had in rock history. We'd never have 80's rock music without Journey.  Van Halen's 1984 wouldn't have been the success it was if Journey hadn't lead the way with the powerful synth-guitar formula. Bands like Aerosmith and Van Hagar could have never made their triumphant return to rock n roll without Journey opening the door to Arena Rock.  There would be no Bon Jovi, no Huey Lewis & The News, Duran Duran, David Lee Roth, and any other Hard Rock band. We would have missed out on every hard rock power ballad that was ever written. Even Prince was influenced by their work. Concerned that Purple Rain sounded too much like Faithfully, The Purple One played the song for Jonathan Cain before its release to ask for his blessing.

I'm sure there are those that would argue a world without Bon Jovi and Huey Lewis & The News would be just fine, if not better. Those are probably the people that believe Classic Rock should have never died and their dislike of Journey runs deep.

Journey nailed the classic rock coffin shut with their release of Escape and Frontiers, ushering in a new era of rock 'n' roll. I, for one, am thankful they did. Classic Rock was going to evolve and it was better for Journey to take it into the direction they did. Congrats on your induction into the Rock Hall of Fame.

A child of the 80's, Wal Ozello is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's the author of the science fiction time travel books Assignment 1989, Revolution 1990 and Sacrifice 2086 and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

KISS Ruined Rock N Roll Forever by Wal Ozello

This is day 8 of Kiss Kountdown to Rock Hall. Click here for day 9.

Kiss Ruined Rock n Roll Forever by Wal Ozello

Several decades ago I was with my band, Armada, trying to break into the Cleveland/Akron market. A friend of a friend got us our first gig at the Akron Agora. We were third on the bill – playing from 9:30-10:30 and had to basically open for the opening band. That’s a hard kick in the chest for any lead singer, especially when we had been headlining weekends at the Alrosa Villa for two years or so.

After we rocked the house, we were followed by the #2 band on the bill. They were all dressed completely in black. Each guy had dyed their hair pure black, put on white powder make up, and black eyeliner. Except for the lead singer who had dyed his hair platinum blond. Just before going on stage they all glued on black Lee press-on fingernails.

I don’t remember what they played or how they sounded. But I do remember sitting there thinking how much time and effort my band had put into perfecting covers like Spirit Of The Radio, Freewill, Magic Power, and Modern Day Cowboy and then had to follow a circus act.  That’s what the sound guy called them, “A Circus Act.”

It was that moment in time that I despised the fire-breathing, blood-spitting Gene Simmons from KISS. I knew my band’s unique blend of pop and prog would never see the light of a major recording studio because we didn’t have that “marketing thing.”

To me, KISS was an average rock n roll band from New York City. They were nowhere near the level of acts like Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Lou Reed and others that came from the same era.  So KISS did what any marketing guru would do and came up with another reason to come see them play: make-up, performance tricks, crazy costumes.  Basically a circus act.

They were a hit.  Everyone everywhere began to worship them as rock gods. In fact, check out all the other pencilstorm blogs this week that sing their praise.

But this circus act called KISS had a huge adverse effect on modern popular music.  No longer was songwriting or musicianship important. A straight-up rock n roll show wasn’t good enough for the likes of Warner, RCA, and PolyGram anymore – they wanted a circus act instead.

So I didn’t grow up with Bruce Springsteen passion-filled rock anthems, Pink Floyd concept albums, or The Rolling Stones rhythmic rock riffs.

Instead I had Bon Jovi bungee-jumping from the rafters. Twisted Sister dressing up as women. The Prince of Darkness biting the heads off of bats.

In the pop scene, Michael Jackson needed a glove. Prince needed a purple jacket. ZZ Top needed beards, a 1930s Ford Coupe, and spinning guitars. Hell… Milli Vanilli wasn’t even a real band.

And even if the band had talent, they still needed a gimmick. During one of my favorite concerts as a kid, I couldn’t enjoy Steve Vai’s melodic off-phrase solos because David Lee Roth was flying high above the stage on a huge surfboard.

This is was the Rock N Roll I was forced to grow up with all because Gene Simmons wanted to make some money instead of music.

God may have given us Rock N Roll but the guy in charge of purgatory gave us KISS.

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

Learn more about Wal Ozello and other Pencilstorm contributors by clicking here

Slippery When Awesome: Jeff Hassler Reviews the Bon Jovi Show

I know the other Pencilstorm guys were bummed out that I decided to blow off the Hives show in Cleveland to stay home and see Bon Jovi, but it was a no-brainer. Why drive two hours in a van to some small venue when I can catch one of America's most popular rock acts only 15 minutes from home in a first-class facility like Nationwide Arena? And did I mention Jon Bon Jovi is one of music's all time greatest artists/frontman? He is like a combination of Bruce Springsteen, David Lee Roth and Leonard Cohen with Jack Welch's business sense thrown in. He is the TOTAL package. Like I said, a no-brainer as far as i am concerned, but the guys kept dogging me about missing the Hives. 

One of the reasons I am a successful blogger is that I am willing to be honest. Some say even to a fault. So here goes: Even though we are all good friends, I think the reason Colin (and most of the other guys at Pencilstorm) make fun of Bon Jovi is jealousy. Seriously. For example, what has Watershed ever accomplished? Some spotty airplay on a radio station nobody listens to and a book with the title Hitless Wonder. Bet you can guess the ending of that one. Meanwhile, Bon Jovi has sold millions and millions of records, and somehow they suck? It doesn't take much fancy math to figure those numbers don't add up. I mean, I like some Watershed songs, too, but.... Just sayin'.

​Anyway, I wished the guys well on the ride to Cleveland. Meanwhile, I was stoked to get my rock on here in CBUS.

One of the many things I love about Bon Jovi is the band's professionalism. Jon BonJovi considers himself a CEO, and at exactly 9:15 the lights dimmed and the show was off to a roaring, punctual start. ​Opening with the classic "You Give Love a Bad Name," Jon was working the crowd like a master, with Tico Torres holding down a solid beat behind him. Richie Sambora, who never gets his due, was shredding as usual,  showing why he is part of one of the greatest duos in rock history. I love the Stones, but Jaggar/Richards have nothing on Bon Jovi/Sambora. At the very least, we can call it a draw. Just sayin'.

This is my third Bon Jovi show and unlike other hard rock bands (AC/DC) I have noticed  that they always have clear sound and never play so loud that you cannot carry on a conversation with the person next to you. In fact, most the people in our section were chatting throughout the show, which gives the whole event more of a community feeling, if you ask me. I only went to one Dead show (I was in college; don't remember much; long story!) but I imagine it was the same kind of vibe.

Anyway, in the interest of full disclosure, I was extra happy for the reasonable volume, as I had brought a special friend to the show with me. Actually, this was my first "date" since my divorce from Kim last year. It was nice to be able to give someone the expert perspective without having to scream in her ear.​ 

Earlier in the week, I happened to mention on Match.com that I would be reviewing the Bon Jovi show and she responded saying she would love to ride shotgun. When we arrived at the venue, ​I got the feeling that she was sorta disappointed in our seats. There was also some confusion about whether or not I had mentioned a backstage press pass online. I'm pretty sure I didn't post anything about that. But as a writer, I write lots of things and can't always remember. 

Still, my date seemed to be having a good time, and after a couple big Yuengling Lights I was really getting into the flow of the show. ​After a bunch more rockers — most not from Slippery When Wet, but they did play "Runaway" — they settled into a sexy groove for the classic ballad "I'll Be There For You."  Now maybe it was the beer talking, or the fact that this was the song that Kim and I did our first dance to at our wedding, but I was suddenly feeling nostalgic. What was Kim doing now? Do you think she ever thinks of me when she hears Bon Jovi? THAT is the power of Bon Jovi.

​Then a terrifying thought hit me: What if she is here, right now? With her new boyfriend, Russ? At this point I decided it was probably best to go. Besides, it was getting late and with the show being on a Sunday night, I had to get up for work in the morning anyway. Especially since i just got my old job back and didn't want to screw up again. I told my date and she asked if I would mind If she stayed.  She really wanted to hear "Livin' on a Prayer." I couldn't blame her, it is a classic. One of the guys a couple seats down said he would be happy to give her a lift home if I bought them each a couple more beers. ($18.50 — ouch!). Still, she said it was OK for me to go and she understood about my divorce from Kim and everything and that she would be all right. So I headed home, after a quick stop at Jimmy John's, of course.

Still, at the end of the day, it was a pretty good night. My first date since my divorce from Kim, my first review for Pencilstorm and a kick ass Bon Jovi concert to bring it all together. Thanks for reading this far. — Jeff

Jeff Hassler is recently divorced and writes for Pencilstorm. He can be reached at jeffwonthassleru@gmail.com

Click here for the entire setlist from the show

Ok, Jeff here again. I couldn't sleep for some reason. Decided to post this video in case anybody cared.

Music video by Bon Jovi performing I'll Be There For You. (C) 1988 The Island Def Jam Music Group