Scott Carr on the final KISS ever; Madison Square Garden, NYC.
Read MoreInterview/Book Review: Doug Brod / They Just Seem A Little Weird - by Jeremy Porter
The Pencil Storm Interview with author Doug Brod, whose book “They Just Seem a Little Weird - How KISS, Cheap Trick, Aerosmith, and Starz Remade Rock and Roll” is a great look back on the rise of these great bands!
Read MoreHow I Got My Copy Of KISS "Dynasty" - by Jeremy Porter (With Illustrations by Jason Bowes)
Jeremy Porter tells the tale of how a traumatic accident led to getting a copy of KISS - Dynasty with fantastic illustrations by Jason Bowes.
Read MoreRating the KISS Unmasked Draft Albums - by Nick Jezierny
Click here for complete results of KISS Unmasked Fantasy Draft
(editor’s Note: On a 100-degree day in Boise, Nick decided not to ride his mountain bike like he does every Tuesday and chose to sit around in his Kiss boxers and rate these records. “Seems like a productive thing to do,” his wife said sarcastically.)
This is going to be harder than I anticipated – I’ve studied the albums, tried my own crazy formula to rank them (way too complicated and probably too scientific). I thought about ranking all songs from 1-71 and then scoring the records like a cross country meet.
That seemed like a lot of work, and since my love of Kiss sometimes means a song I’m not super-high on one day becomes a favorite the next, I’ve decided I’m just going to go with my gut and that means this: the best rule for unmasked Kiss – the fewer Gene songs, the better.
Let’s be honest. The Demon struggled mightily between the last makeup record “Creatures of the Night” and the last non-makeup record (at least in this draft) “Revenge.” He was making movies and the 80’s fashion trends didn’t suit him well.
So the record that starts with “Domino” and ends with “Lonely is the Hunter” and has a total of eight Gene songs is automatically eliminated. Not only does it have eight Simmons songs, but none of his best five from this era are included.
Thou Shalt Not
Secretly Cruel
Unholy
Betrayed
Fits Like A Glove
The highlight of this last-place record in “Silver Spoon,” one of my favorites.
Time to eliminate another record. Two others records have at least five Gene songs, but Gene songs are created unequal. The album that contains two of his epic duds – “Murder in High Heels” and “Any Way You Slice It” – among six Simmons offerings is the next on the chopping block.
While the Gene songs didn’t help — “No No No” is another stinker — it was the lack of great Paul songs that led to its demise. While “Exciter” and “Tough Love” are above-average, they aren’t enough to warrant this record as the winner. And it has “My Way,” which is “no way” in my book.
The next cut was difficult. It would be easy to take an album with five Gene songs, but I’m going a different direction. The album that starts with “Take It Off” and ends with “Carr Jam” is the next to go.
While this album featured a legitimate No. 2 pick in “A Million To One,” there wasn’t enough substance to follow it. I found myself wanting to rank this higher, but there are a lot of forgettable or blah songs, including “(You Make Me) Rock Hard,” “While the City Sleeps,” “Get All You Can Take” and “Who Wants To Be Lonely.”
This disc only had two Gene songs – “Not For The Innocent” and “Spit” – but those aren’t album killers, but they also couldn’t help it stave off elimination.
That leads us to the five-Gene song album that starts with “Unholy.” Between that hit and “Fits Like A Glove,” some of Gene’s best non-makeup work shows up. So does his worst: “Love’s A Deadly Weapon.”
There are some other strong picks – “I’ve Had Enough (Into The Fire),” “Heart of Chrome” and “Thrills in the Night” – but there’s too much filler to warrant a top-two finish. I consider “Reason to Live” like much of the “Crazy Nights” record – average at best. “I’ll Fight Hell to Hold You” is a forgettable tune and might be the worst second song on any Kiss record. (It’s worse than “Any Way You Slice It”!)
That takes us to the top two records. Both are strong records for different reasons, but I’m going to eliminate the record that opens with “Crazy, Crazy Nights” and ends with “The Street Giveth and The Street Taketh Away.”
This record had a lot going for it. “I’m Alive” and “Tears Are Falling” are very strong, and two of Gene’s best - “Thou Shalt Not” and “Secretly Cruel” - are as good as it gets from him in this era. I even like “Forever” enough to ignore “Let’s Put the X in Sex.”
What really sunk this record is the inclusion of “Hide Your Heart.” Back in 1989, when I was a senior at Ohio University, Kiss released “Hot in the Shade” around the same time as Ace Frehley released “Trouble Walkin’,” which as you may know, also featured a version of “Hide Your Heart.” I thought Ace’s version was vastly superior to the poppier Kiss version to the point where I dislike the Kiss version. So that was my tiebreaker – “Hide Your Heart” made this record worse than our champion.
Congratulations to the record that starts with the ultimate opening song from the non-makeup era, “King of the Mountain” and ends with perhaps my pick for the steal of this draft, the 11th-rounder “You Love Me To Hate You.”
In between, this record includes “Lick It Up,” “Heaven’s On Fire” and “God Gave Rock and Roll to You II” for hits. If you want some under-the-radar magic, you’ve got “Gimme More,” “Under The Gun” and a not-so-bad “Betrayed” as one of only two Gene songs on the mix.
We can overlook “Radar For Love” and “When Your Walls Come Down” and realize each of these albums has a dud – “Bang Bang You.”
So that’s it. I intentionally didn’t look at the names of the albums or who drafted them. I wanted to keep this on the up-and-up. Really, I’m jealous I couldn’t participate and would have liked to have included “Carnival of Souls” because there are five or six songs that would have been fine additions to some of these records.
Nick Jezierny is a former journalist who has seen Kiss 10 times on nine different tours and in eight different venues in six different states. He works as a Communications Specialist at Blue Cross of Idaho where he writes a Song Lyric of the Day each morning on the whiteboard in his cubicle.
Rock Nation Declares War on ISIS - by Colin G.
In a stirring 25 minute address to the House of Lords, and members of other bands that don't suck, President Dave Grohl formally announced what many in the media had been speculating for days, "We are a tolerant culture. Our tent is big and we welcome people from all religions no matter how crazy. You can worship Jesus Christ, the Prophet Muhammad, King Diamond or all three for that matter. All we ask, is that when you are in our church, the church of rock n roll, you get your balls to the wall. And maybe purchase a t-shirt or a CD to support the band. At least buy them a beer. But after the recent events in Paris, we have no choice but to look back in anger, and announce that Rock n Roll is formally declaring war in ISIS. Or ISIL. Or Daesh. Or whatever they are called.. "
At that moment, Vice President Lemmy Kilmister suddenly woke up and screamed, "When you shoot up a rock show, you crossed a line. Now it's personal, motherf*%kers." And with that he began firing glass whisky pints into the ceiling fans.
The Reverend Little Richard grabbed the microphone and appealed for calm in the moment. Nevertheless, he supports President Grohl's declaration of war. "No matter what faith you follow, every doctrine knows it's a sin to kill a merch man, baby. Blessed are those who move the gear and sell the swag. I mean, even the Nazis wouldn't shoot a roadie. You may need him to fix a tank or sell shirts one day. These heathens need to be stopped. It's time to rip it up!"
President Grohl also stated that the rock nation would waste no time going on the offensive, especially in light of breaking news that members of ISIS or ISIL or Daesh or Yeesh have begun burning drum sets and saxophones to eliminate rock music from their territory completely.
Senator Neil Peart from the Liberal Wilco party seemed dumbfounded at these allegations, "I can't believe what you're saying, these things they can't be true. Our world could use this beauty, just think what they might do."
House Rep. Ted Nugent of the Ultra-Conservative Altamont party quickly responded: "Professor, they are true." Click here for the story He continued, "While I am glad President Grohl has finally had the balls to step on his Big Muff and make this declaration, it is way overdue. I have been telling you for years that what is the point of having all these semi-automatic weapons here at home if we are only going to use them to shoot up American movie theaters and American classrooms. We need to take the 2nd amendment Double Live Gonzo for some payback."
Insiders have stated on background that not only is the Rock N Roll Nation planning to defeat ISIS, but they are looking to stage a huge outdoor metal festival somewhere near Raqqa in the Northern Territories. Secretary of Defense Lars Ulrich added "This is a war for the hearts and minds of these teenagers.You think these ISIS kids are radical now? And all they have had to motivate them are some old guys reading them WORDS while drinking TEA? Just wait until they HEAR "Number of the Beast" performed live by Iron Maiden at 125 decibels while SMOKING that sweet Afgani hashish. You are going to see some teenagers turn radical for real, and not gentle like before. This time they won't be shooting up the streets of Paris, they will be fighting against their parents, teachers and preachers. They will shout at the devil. They won't be denied their inalienable right to shout it out loud. They will fight for their right to party. They will fight the power. They will not run to the hills. The region will be transformed throughout the power of rock."
Promoters at Clear Channel couldn't be reached for comment but did indicate the festival would be the biggest and loudest metal show ever staged in hostile desert territory and that the Eagles of Death Metal would get a headlining spot. An insider added, "Well, maybe not headlining, but right before Metallica. Well, maybe not because they aren't really metal but they will get a good slot. At least 40 minutes. And a quick soundcheck. Definitely higher on the bill than those assholes in Megadeath."
General Jack White of the Seven Nation Army expeditionary force has been mum on the military side of the operation but it is widely believed that Colonel Glenn Danzig will be leading the Vinnie Vincent Invasion from the West, while Operation Screaming For Vengeance will move from the North trying to catch the ISIS fighters in a classic pincer movement. It is assumed that the elite "Rock n Roll Professionals" unit led by Sargent Scott Lucas are already on the ground making targeted strikes as if ISIS stole a sticker from the Local H merch table. (shudder) Furthermore, Captain Rudolf Schenker of the Rockwaffe has confirmed that once ISIS or ISIL or Deish or Yeesh or Geesh is defeated, stage, amplifiers and merch would be airlifted in from Berlin to set up for the show tentatively called, "ISIS, What a Bunch of Assholes. Let's Melt Their Faces Together."
Obviously, this is all in good fun and we here at Pencilstorm send out prayers and thoughts to the Eagles Of Death Metal and all those injured by evil actors the world over, whether it be Paris, Baghdad, Beirut or Syria itself. Let's hope this madness ends sooner than later.
Colin G. is in the band Watershed and started Pencilstorm because he got bored at his coffee shop. Superior - The Best of Colin Gawel out December 2015. Click here to pre-order.
THIS DAY IN ROCK 'N ROLL HISTORY - KISS RELEASE THEIR FIRST ALBUM - BY SCOTT CARR
February 18, 1974 - Kiss: Kiss is released.
"Hey world, we're Kiss and we want everyone here to come along with us......" were the first words that came from Paul Stanley's mouth after he strutted his way up to the microphone when Kiss made their national TV debut on Dick Clark's "In Concert." With that statement, Paul summed up the way Kiss envisioned themselves from day one. Coming from the same New York City streets that were walked by the likes of the New York Dolls and Ramones, Kiss were not content with being the kings of lower Manhattan or being the house band at CBGB's or Max's Kansas City, they had their eyes set on Madison Square Garden and beyond.
Practicing at Bleecker Street loft as a trio.
This month marks the 41st anniversary of Kiss' debut album, an album that introduced Kiss to the world but didn't exactly set that world on fire. Kiss emerged from the ashes of a band called Wicked Lester, which had featured Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons. Wicked Lester recorded an album for Epic records at Electric Ladyland Studios in 1972, but Paul and Gene split up the band shortly after the album was finished and the project was shelved. Wicked Lester was a hodgepodge of musical styles with no true vision or direction. Listening to the Wicked Lester recordings you can hear glimpses of what Kiss would become but it's buried underneath flutes and congas, sounding more like a Jethro Tull record than anything related to Kiss. Initially keeping the name Wicked Lester, Paul and Gene found drummer Peter Criss and began rehearsing as a trio, formulating a sound that was straightforward and in-your-face rock 'n roll. Guitarist Ace Frehley was added and in early 1973 the band officially changed it's name to Kiss.
First promo shot after Ace Frehley joins.
Kiss made their live debut on January 30th, 1973 at a small club in Queens, NY called Popcorn. From the beginning the band knew they wanted to have a theatrical show but at these early performances at the Popcorn club they wore very little face make up and had not incorporated any stage effects into their show. The band experimented with their image during these early shows eventually going from a New York Dolls androgynous look to a streamlined black leather and studs look with full face paint. By the time they played The Daisy Club in Amityville, NY in March of '73, the band were well on their way in developing their iconic alter egos.
Paul and Ace at the Popcorn Club (Coventry)
In March 1973 the band recorded a five song demo at Electric Ladyland Studios with Jimi Hendrix producer Eddie Kramer. This demo was a calling card to help the band secure management and a record deal. TV mogul Bill Aucoin approached the group in October with an offer to manage the band and a promise that he could obtain them a record deal within two weeks.. Bill made good on his promise and on November 1, 1973 Kiss became the first act signed to Neil Bogart's new label Casablanca Records.
Kiss quickly recorded their debut album at Bell Sound Studios in New York City. The recording and mixing of the record took less than three weeks and was produced by Kenny Kerner and Richie Wise. The original pressing of the album features nine songs including what would become some of the groups best known songs including Deuce, Strutter, Firehouse, Nothin' To Lose, Black Diamond and Cold Gin. Lead vocal duties were split between Stanley and Simmons with drummer Peter Criss also contributing lead vocals on a few songs. "Nothin' To Lose" was issued as the first single from the album in February 1974 but failed to receive support from radio. With initial sales of the album being sluggish it was decided by the label that the group should record a cover of Bobby Rydell's song "Kissin' Time" and release it as the next single. "Kissin' Time" was added to later pressings of the album and the single was promoted by a nationwide kissing contest dubbed "The Great Kiss Off" sponsored by local radio stations. On April 29th the band appeared on The Mike Douglas Show with the winners of "The Great Kiss Off" and performed the song "Firehouse." "Kissin' Time" did not improve album sales but the band continued to be a big concert draw. "Strutter" was released as the last single from the album in August at which time the band had already entered a recording studio in Los Angeles to begin work on their second album "Hotter Than Hell". At this point Casablanca lost their support from Warner Brothers distribution and the label was on the brink of bankruptcy. Kiss continued touring and making records and in September 1975 Casablanca released Kiss Alive as a last ditch effort to save the label and the gamble paid off. Kiss Alive was a huge success and Kissteria was officially in full swing.
Bell Sound Studios recording the first album.
Bell Sound Studios recording the first album
Kiss has been through many changes in the forty one years since their debut album was released including several changes in the bands line up, different musical directions, taking their make up off in 1983 and then reuniting the four original members in 1996 and putting the make up back on. The reunion did not last long but Kiss has forged on with replacement members for Ace Frehley and Peter Criss and are currently touring the world on their 40th Anniversary tour. The original four members of Kiss were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last year but to the disappointment of long time fans the band did not perform together.
Gene being interviewed by Mike Douglas.
Even with all the changes the one thing that has remained consistent over the years are the songs the band created in a little studio in New York City in 1974. Over half the songs from their debut album are still performed in concert and remain fan favorites to this day. For an album that was considered a flop when it was originally released, it has certainly left its mark on the music scene and is a true testament to the strength of the bands early material.
Scott Carr is a guitarist who plays in the Columbus, OH bands Radio Tramps and Returning April. Scott is also an avid collector of vinyl records and works at Lost Weekend Records. So...if you are looking for Scott....you'll either find him in a dimly lit bar playing his guitar or in a record store digging for the holy grail.
Promo ad for first album
Billboard ad promoting "Kissin' Time" single