My Star Wars New Year’s Resolutions - by Wal Ozello

Everything right now is Star Wars-themed and we at Pencilstorm hope it’s not too late to hop on the bandwagon. I don’t claim to have some confounded theory on who Rey is related to, but I do have some ideas on how I can better myself in 2016 through life lessons learned in the Star Wars movies. So here’s my three New Year’s Resolutions through the lens of the greatest science fiction movies ever.

Ignore the fear; embrace the light.

If you’re a Star Wars geek, you must be familiar with the Yoda quote. If not, know that it’s basically a math equation: fear=hate=anger=suffering=dark side. With the coming election year, many politicians will try to capitalize on our emotion of fear: scary immigrants, loss of employment, terrorism, gun violence, taking away your guns, taking away your reproductive rights, and general destruction of the American lifestyle that you know.  I commit to not fall victim to this fear-mongering. America is the greatest country in the world. I’m not scared of any of this crap the media or the politicians are trying to feed me. I’m done with fear and all about believing in the good in this country. This would be a wonderful resolution for everyone at a personal level. Can you imagine the power of light side of the force in all of us?

Have My Friends’ Back More Often in 2016.

One of my favorite moments in all the Star Wars movies is at the end of A New Hope when Han Solo shows back up during the attack on the Death Star to cover Luke, hit Darth Vader’s ship, and send it reeling into space.  An on-going theme throughout all of the movies is the power of strong friendship. As we get older, life gets more complex and we tend to focus on tactical things to get us through: groceries, work, shuffling the kids to a sporting event, go here, get this, run, run, run. Time well spent with others seem to slip through the cracks. Frankly, I want 2016 to be more about YOU and less about ME. Wouldn’t it be an awesome year if all of us were more like the Han Solo of “You're all clear, kid, now let's blow this thing and go home!” than the “I ain't in this for your revolution, and I'm not in it for you, Princess. I expect to be well paid. I'm in it for the money.” Han Solo?

Believe There’s Always A Simple Solution.

Did you ever notice that there’s always a simple solution to destroy the big bad thing that the Empire has concocted? Remember the Death Star? The ultimate power in the universe? Luke destroyed it by sending a blast down a thermal exhaust port. While many thought it was impossible, Luke knew he could hit it because he used to bullseye womp rats in his T-16 back home. There are many more examples of dire situations they got stuck in: the trash compactor, trapped on Cloud City, Han Solo carbonite, the new bigger badder Death Star, and the even bigger badder Starkiller in The Force Awakens. There’s always something that seems impossible that all of a sudden there’s simple solution to defeat. In 2016, I’m committing to believing in simple solutions for everything. Whether it’s the impossible feat of lower gun violence or helping my son with his overwhelming math homework, there’s a simple solution around the corner.  All I have to do is believe it can be done.

The year ahead will be a rough ride… a kind of transition year until we get to 2017. Things may get worse before they get better. But I do know one thing: I’ve already pre-ordered my copy of The Force Awakens on Blu-Ray which releases in April. I’ll be watching that over and over instead of the election hype.

From all of us here at Pencilstorm, may the force be with you in 2016. Happy New Year.

Wal Ozello is a science fiction techno-thriller novelist and the author of Assignment 1989 ,  Revolution 1990, and Sacrifice 2086. He's the lead singer of the former Columbus rock band Armada and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

Santa Is Real... My Letter To My Sons On Christmas Day by Wal Ozello

Every Christmas morning my wife and I leave a personal letter from Santa to my sons. Since my youngest son is coming of age we fear that this may be the last year he believes in Santa. It's about time that he knows the truth.  So instead of pulling him aside and breaking the news to him before going into Middle School, we decided we'd leave a special Christmas note for the boys this year explaining how real Santa really is.

Here's a slightly edited version of the note below.  From all of us at Pencilstorm, a Happy Holidays to you and yours!

Dear Ozello Boys:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

You’ve had a wonderful year and you boys never cease to amaze me with how kind and loving you are.

You’ve both been doing great at school, at sports, but most importantly have shown love and kindness to everyone. It’s beautiful to watch you grow and become the men you’re going to be! You have strong compassion for others and are such a great friends.

Now that you boys are older, I’d like to address a question that every child your age is asking.

I am real?

Yes I am.

I am as real as the love your parents have for you because that’s what I am. Santa means love and it’s been the magical way that your parents have shown you how much they care about you. Mom and Dad love you immensely and it’s been them all these years who have listened to your heart’s desires and searched high and low for the special gifts that you’ve really, really wanted. It’s been Mom and Dad who work tirelessly to wrap your presents and sneak them under the tree on Christmas Eve after you’ve gone to bed. (Okay, some years it’s been mostly Mom.) It’s been Mom and Dad who write these notes every year and eat the cookies and carrots.

Why do they do this? Why have they worked so hard to keep up this illusion? It’s simple. To see your magical smiles of pure joy when you wake up on Christmas morning and open up your gifts, especially the ones that you didn’t even realize you wanted. They do it because they love you with their whole heart.

So let’s all make a deal. Now that we’ve told you the “secret of Santa,” Mom and Dad will still continue showing you love, especially on Christmas, if you promise to continue growing into the awesome, amazing, loving, caring and beautiful boys that you are destined to be. Deal?  I don’t think it will be very hard for any of us to keep up our end of the bargain. Together, we'll treat every day like it's Christmas and keep the magic of Santa alive forever.

Love,

Santa

Wal Ozello is  a science fiction techno-thriller novelist and the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars  and Revolution 1990. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

Colin's Four Step Plan for a Semi - Successful Amateur Night

Did you ever notice how only amateurs refer to New Years Eve as "amateur night" ? Well, it's true. Anyway, that being said, there is still a whole bunch of pressure to have the greatest night of your life on New Year's Eve. Especially for you younger folks in your 20's. More often than not, after all the build up, the night ends up a failure with tearful fights, heartache and possible run in with the law.

Having lived through many New Year's Eve, both successful and the opposite, here is my very quick guide to making it a satisfying evening. Or at least not a total disaster.

1) Get your expectations in line. The chances of this being the greatest night of your life are extremely small. In fact, take the number 1 and put it next to the days you have been alive and those are your odds. My odds would be 16,060 to 1. That isn't the horse you want to bet on. Why not just try to make it the best night of the week? That pays 7 to 1. That is a goal within your grasp.

2) Logistics. Get what you need, get where you are going and do not drive again. Best option is to get dropped off where you are going. You will figure out a way home. Only an ASS drives on New Year's Eve. And don't stop at White Castle no matter how tasty it sounds at 3 am.

3) Surround yourself with people you really like. It just takes one asshole to ruin the whole night with a bad decision. Only your tightest crew should be assembled as your core group. 

4) Do not chase the party, let it come to you. Once you are with good people and have what you need, hunker down to a reasonably good spot and spread the word. Don't hit the panic button and start jumping from spot to spot. The grass most likely isn't greener and you end up running all over hell's half acre only to find each party is lamer than the last one. Frustration and bad vibes are certain to follow ruining the evening. OR... put another way, if you are hunting deer, you don't run around the forest shooting a gun in the air, you hunker down and they will come to you.

Follow these four rules I can guarantee that your New Year's Eve will turnout pretty damn good. At the very least it should keep you out of the pokey. Merry New Year!

Colin Gawel once watched Watershed back their van into the side of Dash Rip Rock's Van on New Year's Eve in Memphis. He was shouting "NO!" to Biggie, but Biggie thought he was shouting "GO!". Dash's van was totaled. Being Dash, they thought it was funny.