Rating the KISS Unmasked Draft Albums - by Nick Jezierny

Click here for complete results of KISS Unmasked Fantasy Draft

(editor’s Note: On a 100-degree day in Boise, Nick decided not to ride his mountain bike like he does every Tuesday and chose to sit around in his Kiss boxers and rate these records. “Seems like a productive thing to do,” his wife said sarcastically.)

This is going to be harder than I anticipated – I’ve studied the albums, tried my own crazy formula to rank them (way too complicated and probably too scientific). I thought about ranking all songs from 1-71 and then scoring the records like a cross country meet.

That seemed like a lot of work, and since my love of Kiss sometimes means a song I’m not super-high on one day becomes a favorite the next, I’ve decided I’m just going to go with my gut and that means this: the best rule for unmasked Kiss – the fewer Gene songs, the better.

Let’s be honest. The Demon struggled mightily between the last makeup record “Creatures of the Night” and the last non-makeup record (at least in this draft) “Revenge.” He was making movies and the 80’s fashion trends didn’t suit him well.

So the record that starts with “Domino” and ends with “Lonely is the Hunter” and has a total of eight Gene songs is automatically eliminated. Not only does it have eight Simmons songs, but none of his best five from this era are included.

  • Thou Shalt Not

  • Secretly Cruel

  • Unholy

  • Betrayed

  • Fits Like A Glove

The highlight of this last-place record in “Silver Spoon,” one of my favorites.

Time to eliminate another record. Two others records have at least five Gene songs, but Gene songs are created unequal. The album that contains two of his epic duds – “Murder in High Heels” and “Any Way You Slice It” – among six Simmons offerings is the next on the chopping block.

While the Gene songs didn’t help — “No No No” is another stinker — it was the lack of great Paul songs that led to its demise. While “Exciter” and “Tough Love” are above-average, they aren’t enough to warrant this record as the winner. And it has “My Way,” which is “no way” in my book.

The next cut was difficult. It would be easy to take an album with five Gene songs, but I’m going a different direction. The album that starts with “Take It Off” and ends with “Carr Jam” is the next to go.

While this album featured a legitimate No. 2 pick in “A Million To One,” there wasn’t enough substance to follow it. I found myself wanting to rank this higher, but there are a lot of forgettable or blah songs, including “(You Make Me) Rock Hard,” “While the City Sleeps,” “Get All You Can Take” and “Who Wants To Be Lonely.”

This disc only had two Gene songs – “Not For The Innocent” and “Spit” – but those aren’t album killers, but they also couldn’t help it stave off elimination.

That leads us to the five-Gene song album that starts with “Unholy.” Between that hit and “Fits Like A Glove,” some of Gene’s best non-makeup work shows up. So does his worst: “Love’s A Deadly Weapon.”

There are some other strong picks – “I’ve Had Enough (Into The Fire),” “Heart of Chrome” and “Thrills in the Night” – but there’s too much filler to warrant a top-two finish. I consider “Reason to Live” like much of the “Crazy Nights” record – average at best. “I’ll Fight Hell to Hold You” is a forgettable tune and might be the worst second song on any Kiss record. (It’s worse than “Any Way You Slice It”!)

That takes us to the top two records. Both are strong records for different reasons, but I’m going to eliminate the record that opens with “Crazy, Crazy Nights” and ends with “The Street Giveth and The Street Taketh Away.”

This record had a lot going for it. “I’m Alive” and “Tears Are Falling” are very strong, and two of Gene’s best - “Thou Shalt Not” and “Secretly Cruel” - are as good as it gets from him in this era. I even like “Forever” enough to ignore “Let’s Put the X in Sex.”

What really sunk this record is the inclusion of “Hide Your Heart.” Back in 1989, when I was a senior at Ohio University, Kiss released “Hot in the Shade” around the same time as Ace Frehley released “Trouble Walkin’,” which as you may know, also featured a version of “Hide Your Heart.” I thought Ace’s version was vastly superior to the poppier Kiss version to the point where I dislike the Kiss version. So that was my tiebreaker – “Hide Your Heart” made this record worse than our champion.

Congratulations to the record that starts with the ultimate opening song from the non-makeup era, “King of the Mountain” and ends with perhaps my pick for the steal of this draft, the 11th-rounder “You Love Me To Hate You.”

In between, this record includes “Lick It Up,” “Heaven’s On Fire” and “God Gave Rock and Roll to You II” for hits. If you want some under-the-radar magic, you’ve got “Gimme More,” “Under The Gun” and a not-so-bad “Betrayed” as one of only two Gene songs on the mix.

We can overlook “Radar For Love” and “When Your Walls Come Down” and realize each of these albums has a dud – “Bang Bang You.”

So that’s it. I intentionally didn’t look at the names of the albums or who drafted them. I wanted to keep this on the up-and-up. Really, I’m jealous I couldn’t participate and would have liked to have included “Carnival of Souls” because there are five or six songs that would have been fine additions to some of these records.


Nick Jezierny is a former journalist who has seen Kiss 10 times on nine different tours and in eight different venues in six different states. He works as a Communications Specialist at Blue Cross of Idaho where he writes a Song Lyric of the Day each morning on the whiteboard in his cubicle.

The Gene Simmons Vault Experience Cleveland - by Scott Carr

The Gene Simmons Vault Experience Cleveland - by Scott Carr

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It's been well over a decade since Gene Simmons first spoke of releasing a mammoth box set of unreleased demos spanning his entire recording career. When it was first talked about it had a working title of Monster. Gene claimed it would be the biggest box set ever and all Kiss fans know Gene knows how to hype a project, so when he said it would be big, we knew it would be something special.

As time went on the project seemed to hit some road blocks and went into a state of limbo, so much so that Kiss used the Monster title for their 2012 studio record. 

Finally last year news started to break that the Gene Simmons box set was back on track and had a new name: The Gene Simmons Vault! 

Gene also announced that he would be doing something that had never been done before, he wanted to hand-deliver the box sets straight to the fans. There would be no retail version of The Vault, Gene wanted to make it an "experience" and travel the world to deliver The Vault to the fans. The project became known as The Gene Simmons Vault Experience.

Gene teamed-up with Rhino Records and they developed a box set like no other: The Gene Simmons Vault weighs in at almost 40 pounds and it actually looks like a vault. Inside The Vault is a hard-back book full of text & rare photos and - more importantly - 11 CD's of unreleased Gene Simmons demos that date back to 1966. You also get the first ever non-makeup Gene Simmons action figure and other goodies.

The Vault website soon took shape and event dates started popping up, so purchasers could pick a city close to their home and make plans to attend The Vault Experience and receive their Vault directly from the demon himself. 

Once The Vault dates started to appear I would casually check the event page to see if there were any close to my home of Columbus, OH, with no real thought that I would actually be able to attend one. I absolutely wanted to do it but I wasn't sure everything would fall into place to make it happen. I'm a working musician and have a pretty busy gig schedule, so the date would have to fall on one of my off days, and there aren't many of those. Beyond scheduling, how could I afford it? The Vault isn't cheap. Maybe I could sell a guitar? No, I don't have one that I could bear to part with. Sell of some of my prized vinyl collection? That definitely wasn't an option, I've sold off records in the past and have always come to regret it. 

A date was announced for Cleveland Ohio on Saturday April 28th and it worked out that I had that entire weekend off. I had been stashing away money made from gigs playing with my band and I had managed to save the cash to buy The Vault Experience. 

After several visits to The Vault website, I finally pulled the trigger and made the purchase. 

A couple months later I found myself heading to the Cleveland Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to meet The Demon and get MY Vault.

I arrived in Cleveland the night before the event. I wanted to be well-rested and ready for my Experience. Of course I did not get any sleep the night before because I was so excited for my adventure that would be unfolding the next day. It was like Christmas in April.

Vault attendees were told to arrive at the Rock Hall around 10am the day of the event and wristbands would be given out to designate your place in line. Of course it ended up being a cold, rainy, windy day in Cleveland but Kiss fans are troopers and we didn't have to wait very long before being ushered into the Rock Hall.

Keith Valcourt from Rhino Records was on hand and he and his staff had everything rolling along very smoothly.

The first part of The Gene Simmons Vault Experience consisted of a "songs and stories" segment. All guests were in an intimate theatre on the fourth floor of the rock and hall and Gene entered with an acoustic guitar and basically played songs and told stories about how he writes and creates songs. Keith from Rhino kept this portion of the experience moving along and would ask Gene questions, and also fielded questions from the audience.

Gene during the songs and stories portion of The Vault Experience.

Gene during the songs and stories portion of The Vault Experience.

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Gene with Keith Valcourt (Rhino Records) Showing off what's inside The Vault.

Gene with Keith Valcourt (Rhino Records) Showing off what's inside The Vault.

After the "songs and stories" portion concluded, Vault purchasers were taken in groups of 5 to a lower level of the Rock Hall to meet Gene and get their Vaults.

I was No. 7 in line, so my turn came up pretty quick. It was fun hanging out in the green room with other Kiss fans prior to meeting Gene. We were talking all things Kiss and comparing items that we were gonna get signed.

Finally it was my turn to go see Gene and get my Vault. I wasn't nervous but I was really excited. I had met Gene three times over the years and had always been really engaging and nice to me, so I knew this would be another special Kiss memory.

I entered the room and there stood The Demon and next to him was my Vault. This man is larger than life even without his monster boots. He welcomed me into the room and we just began chatting. There were other people in the room, including Rhino staff photographers and I was also allowed to bring a guest. Once I started chatting with Gene it was like everyone else disappeared....I was in my own little world with one of my childhood idols. I felt like I was 12 years old again. 

We talked about music, we talked about our moms, we talked about The Vault and I was also able to give him some of my Kiss related writings I've done for Pencil Storm. He seemed genuinely excited to receive these, explaining that he loves to read about himself. Classic Gene!

Gene signed a few different items that I had brought with me, including my original 1978 Solo Album Picture disc, an original 1974 ad for the first Kiss album and also a picture of Gene and myself from 30 years ago. Gene really liked that picture and we talked a bit about how that meeting had occurred.

Lastly he signed the top of my Vault . He wrote "Only Got One Life, I'm Gonna Live It, yeah," which is a variation of a line from the song "Trial By Fire" from the Kiss album Asylum.

"Only Got One Life, I'm Gonna Live It" was kind of my motto for this entire Vault Experience. 

A couple months have passed now since my event and I am still working my way through the music that is included in The Vault. It really is a 50-year journey through the songwriting evolution of Gene Simmons. It's a lot to take in. Although most people think the music is why fans are doing these events but the music really seems like a bonus. Meeting Gene and hanging out with the Kiss fanatics is what The Vault Experience is all about.

I've done a lot of cool Kiss related things over the years and seen Kiss in concert more than any other band, but I will have to say that the Gene Simmons Vault Experience ranks at the top of my list of Kiss memories.

 

Scott Carr is a guitarist who plays in the Columbus, OH  bands Radio Tramps andReturning April.  Scott is also an avid collector of vinyl records and works at Lost Weekend Records. So...if you are looking for Scott....you'll either find him in a dimly lit bar playing his guitar or in a record store digging for the holy grail.

The Vault

The Vault

Meeting The Demon!

Meeting The Demon!

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Presenting Gene with some of my Pencil Storm articles.

Presenting Gene with some of my Pencil Storm articles.

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Gene signing my Vault.

Gene signing my Vault.

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Gene and myself. I'm holding a pic we'd taken together 30 years ago.

Gene and myself. I'm holding a pic we'd taken together 30 years ago.

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Kiss Rules The Month Of September - by Scott Carr

If you are a Kiss fan, you know that September is a very busy month in the band's history. Or if you will, Kisstory.  The band has released more records in the month of September than any other month, followed closely by October.

The trend of releasing albums in September goes all the way back to the September 10th, 1975 release of the bands seminal career-launching double live album Alive! No question, if this album had not taken off, we would not be having this discussion today.  The band's career was in serious jeopardy as their first three studio albums had been major duds in the sales department. Luckily for myself and Kiss fans around the world, Alive! became the bands first million seller and gave the band a second wind.

Next up in the September cycle of releases for Kiss came on September 18th, 1978 when the band released their individual solo albums. Each band member had their own full-length album but all were marketed under the Kiss name. Some would say it was one of the most brilliant concepts ever attempted in the music business while others say a complete fiasco. I wrote a detailed recap that you can read here.....

During the 1980's the September releases for Kiss really kicked into high gear beginning with 1983's Lick It Up, released on September 18, 1983. Lick It Up was the band's first studio record to feature lead guitarist Vinnie Vincent who had replaced original Kiss guitarist Ace Frehley during the previous years Creatures of the Night Tour. Lick It Up also marked the first time the band had appeared on an album cover without their signature makeup. The official unmasking of Kiss happened on the same day of the album's release during a special appearance on MTV.  Lick It Up was a solid record and brought the band back to platinum-selling status after the declining sales of their previous records, Unmasked and (Music From) The Elder

A world tour followed the release of Lick It Up, but by the time September of 1984 rolled around Kiss had another new record hitting the shelves. Animalize was released on September 13, 1984. Animalize pretty much continued were Lick It Up left off and Kiss once again had a million seller on their hands. The band had also ushered in another new lead guitarist for this record. Mark St. John replaced Vinnie Vincent for the recording of Animalize. Shortly after the albums release Mark would be replaced by Bruce Kulick due to an illness that affected Marks ability to play guitar.

Another tour followed and by September 1985 Kiss returned to the record stores with Asylum. Released on September 16, 1985, Asylum became the third million seller in a row for Kiss. The band was definitely on a roll and for Kiss fans it was like Christmas every September. It's pretty amazing to think how quickly the band were delivering a new record. In today's market you are lucky to get a new record from your favorite band every five years and Kiss fans were getting a new record every year!

After three consecutive September releases there was a two-year gap before Kiss delivered their next album. Crazy Nights was released on September 18, 1987 and although it seemed like a lifetime between records Crazy Nights proved to be another hit for the band and their fourth platinum record in a row. Crazy Nights was a much more polished affair than previous Kiss releases but the album spawned several MTV hits including the albums opening anthem "Crazy Crazy Nights."

Kiss' next studio album Hot In The Shade arrived in mid-October of 1989 marking the end of their 1980's September juggernaut and also the string of platinum albums as well. Hot In The Shade only achieved Gold status.

Kiss would not release another album during the month of September until 1998. Psycho Circus was released on September 22, 1998 and claimed to be a reunion of the four original members of Kiss. While the band had been on a highly successful reunion tour since June of 1996 when it came time to record a new studio record the band brought in several outside players to perform on the record and contributions from original drummer Peter Criss and guitarist Ace Frehley were very few. The album received lackluster responses from critics and fans but still managed to go gold.

So there you have my round up of Kiss albums that were released during the month of September.  A couple other items I will throw at you: Peter Criss released his first post-Kiss solo album Out Of Control in September of 1980 and Ace Frehley released his fourth post-Kiss solo album Anomaly on September 15, 2009.

.....and finally I will leave you with this: I saw Kiss on their Dynasty tour on September 10th, 1979 at the Huntington Civic Center in my hometown of Huntington, WV and then 37 years exactly to the day I saw them again in the very same venue. You can read all the details about those experiences here.....

Scott Carr is a guitarist who plays in the Columbus, OH  bands Radio Tramps andReturning April.  Scott is also an avid collector of vinyl records and works at Lost Weekend Records. So...if you are looking for Scott....you'll either find him in a dimly lit bar playing his guitar or in a record store digging for the holy grail.

 

KISS SEPTEMBER ANNIVERSARIES 

ALIVE! (SEPTEMBER 10, 1975) 

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KISS SOLO ALBUMS (SEPTEMBER 18, 1978)

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OUT OF CONTROL (SEPTEMBER, 1980) PETER CRISS SOLO ALBUM

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LICK IT UP (SEPTEMBER 18, 1983)

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ANIMALIZE (SEPTEMBER 13, 1984)

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ASYLUM (SEPTEMBER 16, 1985)

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CRAZY NIGHTS (SEPTEMBER 18, 1987)

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PSYCHO CIRCUS (SEPTEMBER 22, 1998)

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ANOMALY (SEPTEMBER 15, 2009) ACE FREHLEY SOLO ALBUM

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