Top 5 Movie Monologues with Rock and Roll Intentions. By Lizard McGee

 Top 5 Movie Monologues with Rock and Roll intentions.

or

Everything I ever needed to know in life, I learned from Rock and Roll

By Lizard McGee

You go to the theater and sit in the dark. A projector pushes light through film and out onto the screen. You open your mind to the power of imagination and pretense momentarily suspending all disbelief. Actors expound on delicate dramatic details. You are washed with an intense certainty that they are speaking directly to you. As if a folded horn grows directly from their heart, out through the screen ending at yr face, amplifying and translating the deepest meanings of their words. 

Whatever they are talking about, they’re really talking about Rock and Roll. Everything I ever needed to know in life I learned from Rock and Roll. Rock and Roll is the beginning and the end of the world. It’s everything. Remember in Apocalypse Now when Marlon Brando says that he “… has seen Horrors.” ? Rock and Roll has seen those Horrors. Or Citizen Kane’s “Rosebud.” Rock and Roll has a Rosebud. 

But those are films. I’m talking about movies. Consider this a master class in Rock and Roll. 

1. Tears in Rain (Blade Runner) - Rutger Hauer 

Rock and Roll should always go for the jugular. The emotional response. You want the audience ripping off their panties and throwing them at the stage with mindless abandon. Even if your audience includes that ripped, sweaty, fantastically mustachioed grip who winks at you during scene breaks. No matter what, you want them all to be lost in the moment. 

Legend has it that the film crew was brought to tears and erupted into spontaneous applause after Mr. Hauer delivered this impromptu soliloquy. He ditched the script and went with his gut, abbreviating and adjusting what the director and screen-writer had given him. His gutsy move reminds us that great performance is also about spontaneity. Plus nothing says Rock and Roll more than having platinum blond hair and holding a dove in one hand while talking about death.


2. Don’t Ever Get Married (Purple Rain) – Clarence Williams III

Prince’s dad beat his ass, just beat his Mom’s ass and is now sitting at a piano in the basement crying while playing a beautiful melody that Prince later turns into Purple Rain. His dad grills the Kid about whether or not he has a girlfriend and what their future plans are. 

“I never meant to cause you any sorrow/I never meant to cause you any pain”

Indeed. 

Q: What do we learn from this growling monologue? A: Rock and roll is wrong. You should do it in a basement. You might get yr ass kicked. And most importantly, making plans for the future is a bad idea because that bitch will just break yr heart.


3. I’m A Wolf (Moonstruck) – Nicolas Cage

Ronny and Loretta have fire. Ronny has fallen crazy in love with Loretta. He wants her to come upstairs with him and get in his bed. But Loretta is fighting against her heart. Loretta is trying to be reasonable, she’s trying to make “good decisions”. What does this scene tell us about the dogma of Rock and Roll? It tells us that playing it safe is a loser’s game. The past and the future are a joke. Nothing matters but right now. Why? Because fucking. Because recklessness. Because it doesn’t matter how and it doesn’t matter why. Love breaks yr heart, love ruins everything, love is a mess. And when yr on fire, everything seems like nothing against -I want you in my bed. 

Nick Cage speaks for Rock and Roll. And Rock and Roll says - Don’t play it safe. Listen to the Wolf.


4. Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope (Star Wars) – Carrie Fisher

Editing is Rock and Roll’s masterstroke. You must have impact. And it’s all in that last line. That one sentence has so much power. The wanting in her voice. Because everything depends upon this. This is a call. This is the power ballad. This is top notch Rock and Roll. Because it’s a fucking hologram, so cool. Also, Carrie Fisher is fine. Because metal bikini. And because it’s fucking STAR WARS and I still want a Landspeeder.

5. Bruce Lee Kicks Everyone’s Ass (Enter The Dragon) – Bruce Lee

It doesn’t matter that this isn’t a monologue. Rock and Roll is about breaking the rules. When Bruce Lee fights, he makes the coolest fucking sounds EVER. Specifically the moment in the scene in the underground drug lair when he fights off 7 henchmen and then after he beats the last guy’s ass, he stomps on his chest, grimaces, makes an alien-cat noise and prowls away to a soundtrack of spooky synthesizers. Bruce Lee is a BAD ASS, people. He then goes on to gloriously beat the shit out of another 47 dudes (I counted). That is seriously Rock and Roll. Because nunchucks. Because you can do anything. Even against insurmountable odds. Especially against insurmountable odds. Rock and Roll feeds on the glory of the underdog. And because it doesn’t matter if you’ve reached the end of the set. Go farther. Who cares what the club owner or the sound-man says. They may throw up the house lights and try to kill yr vibe, or pull the plug on yr guitar amp and try to shut you down. But God gave you a voice and made you a human amplifier. And he did that so you can say “I think we’ve got time for one more.” 
You cannot be stopped.

“You must constantly exceed your level. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you.” – Bruce Lee

Well said, Bruce.

Rock and Roll always says -"Bring it on". Because Rock and Roll is all about stepping up yr game.

- Lizard McGee

Lizard McGee is a guest contributor for Pencilstorm and one hell of a talented guy. Follow him on Twitter or Learn more about his band Earwig and all things Lizard by clicking here

 

Forget to Watch the 2013 Billboard Music Awards? Ricki C. Has You Covered.

Billboard Music Awards 2013 / ABC television, Sunday night, May 19th

8:00 pm – I can’t decide if Bruno Mars wants to be Michael Jackson, Prince or The Time, but he winds up coming off more like The Osmond Brothers, soul-wise, something I’m virtually certain he couldn’t have intended.

8:09 pm – Shania Twain presents the Best Rap Artist to Nicki Minaj, who, I believe, just lost her job on American Idol, so maybe the Billboards Music Award serves as some kind of unemployment compensation.  (Why is Shania Twain presenting a rap award?  And where is Mutt Lange when we need him?)

8:15 pm – Selena Gomez seems to be going for an Indian sub-continent Bollywood vibe in her performance; apparently mixing up where Guadalajara, or even California, or even America, are on a globe.

8:19 pm – Country sibling trio The Band Perry (who I always think are Steve Perry of Journey’s kids until my friend Kyle Garabadian tells me they’re not) distinguish themselves as the first musical act of the night to (ostensibly) actually play musical instruments.  (Maybe, maybe they’re playing instruments; everything sounds awfully perfect, no pun intended.)  Lead singer Kimberly seems to be channeling Stevie Nicks, or perhaps she believes she is Stevie Nicks.  I heavily suspect lip-synching, as, by the end of the song after a percussion finale, all three members of the band are huffing like a two-pack-a-day-unfiltered-Camels-addict on a smoke break out behind Steak & Shake, yet nobody has any trouble catching their breath to sing.

8:37 pm – I throw up my dinner during Chris Brown’s dance routine that masquerades as a song, and decide to go for a walk to clear my head, hoping I don’t miss Prince or Taylor Swift, the only two acts I really want to see.

9:08 pm – Singer/songwriter Kacey Musgraves seems to have beamed in her backing band from a Waycross honky-tonk in the 1970’s, and I find myself oddly yearning for Vicki Lawrence belting out “The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia.”

9:13-9:15 pm – The video montage to introduce Madonna’s Top Touring Artist Billboard Music Award is fully two minutes shorter than her acceptance speech (9:15-9:20 pm).  Will I. Am has to help Madonna down the four steps on the stage to the microphone.  You’re all waiting for an osteoporosis/broken hip joke here, but you’re not going to get one from me.

9:21 pm – Justin Bieber emerges for his big dance number from a pod EXACTLY like the one in Spinal Tap, except his opens at the correct time.  Bieber is auto-tuned from here to the International Space Station and I can only wish he was that high.

9:31 pm – Adele’s 21 album, which was released in 2011(!), is one of five records up for top-selling album in 2013.  Sad times for the music industry.  Taylor Swift wins the award, and I’m gratified that Kanye West doesn’t grab it away from her.

9:34 pm – Pitbull & Christina Aguilera appear together, my cue to hit the kitchen and make myself a banana split.

9:41 pm – A commercial for ABC-TV’s “Dancing With The Stars” informs me that Korean pop-phenom Psy will be guesting on the Monday night finale.  My sister is 67 years old.  “Dancing With The Stars” is her favorite TV program.  Enough said, insert your own South or North Korean joke here.

9:56 pm – Taylor Swift opening act & buddy Ed Sheeran comes on all acoustic guitar earnest & weepy and accomplishes the nearly impossible feat of actually almost making me wish for a Mumford & Sons appearance.  (I stress “almost.”)

10:13 pm – David Guetta, a dance-music DJ and reputed French person, wins an award and – as an American from the West Side of Columbus, Ohio – I find myself as threatened as those Tea Party guys find President Obama’s presidency.  As such, I am forced to turn off the Billboard Music Awards and pop in a DVD of News Radio that I got out of the Westerville Library.  Thus ends my blog review of the 2013 Billboard Music Awards.  (And I never even got to see Prince or Taylor Swift.)  (But then again, I’ll just punch ‘em up tomorrow on YouTube.  And isn’t that how computers have rendered TV obsolete?)

Ricki C. is a cranky 60-year old music guy who believes that rock & roll peaked somewhere around 1973 and hasn’t actually liked any songs recorded in the 21st century.  (Except for The Strokes first album and a bunch of Jack White.)  Feel free to check out his Growing Old With Rock & Roll blog at your leisure.)