Rev. Todd Baker’s Picks for Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 2020/2021 (Uncensored!)

Rev. Todd Baker’s Picks for Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 2020/2021

Well, it’s that time again. Every October I wait for Rolling Stone to list the new RRHOF nominee’s and every year I get more pissed off at their choices. First of all, FUCK Jann Wenner! I for one am glad he is “retiring.” He has always been a self-centered, arrogant douchebag who likes to hold grudges against people based on his personal opinions. Although, I’m not too thrilled that the head of I-Heart Radio is replacing him. Could it possibly get any worse? Now, I have had a problem with the whole nominating process for over two decades. Mainly for the fact they stopped inducting artists based on chronology! For the first ten years or so they strictly followed rock and roll’s timeline, but somewhere things went askew. That’s how we got such undeserving members as Madonna, Green Day, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Janet Jackson and Radiohead!

I also feel “THEY” need to do a better job of choosing who gets to induct the lucky winners. Is it too much to ask for a presenter with even an inkling of connection to the artist being honored? How many times is Kid Rock or Tom Morelli going to give another speech? Even worse, some up and coming band the Hall felt the need to promote. Fuck that! We need better presenters, preferably current/future members of RRHOF! And what ever happened to the big JAM at the end? That idea seems to have faded away. These people aren’t dead. Well, many aren’t. Get them on stage! Ace Frehley and Joe Walsh jamming with Eddie Van Halen and Slash! Hell, why aren’t these bands touring together for fun? Mix it up! Springsteen opening for Cheap Trick!

Obviously, this whole selection process is subjective, as are my opinions on the topic. However, I am basing my choices (mostly) on hard, cold facts: Can you name three hits? Did they have a platinum record? Are they still performing or on the radio? Groundbreakers are different. They get a pass on hits and sales. My goal here is to correct several obvious snubs made on the part of RRHOF and Jann Wenner specifically. It is time to stop letting the New York music critics cock block the rock and let the PEOPLE have their say. In that spirit, I would like to submit my list of 25 bands, sidemen, producers, solo artists and singer/songwriters who deserve to be inducted NOW. Unfortunately, these days the dummies running this joint can barely induct five bands each year. They USED to induct a dozen or more…bring that back. I think all 25 could be inducted in two classes! So, here is my list of worthy members. Fuck Kraftwerk, The Smiths, Depeche Mode, Sonic Youth, Soundgarden, Blink 182 and especially Biggie Smalls until THESE bands are in!

 
 Class of 2020 and their presenters

1)      The Meters: (Inducted by Trombone Shorty)

Considering “Sissy Strut” has been sampled by nearly every wanna-be d.j. in the history of hip hop, 

there should be NO more rappers until THESE guys are inducted!

2)      The Swampers/Muscle Shoals Rhythm Section: (Patterson Hood)

They backed up Wilson Pickett, Aretha Franklin, Staple Sisters, Paul Simon and more. 

       Skynyrd sang their praise. The Stones and Bob Seger recorded at their studio.

 

3)      Jim Croce: (A.J. Croce) Accepted by his wife Ingrid

Died too soon. Plane crash. Like Otis, had his biggest hit after his death.

Bad, Bad Leroy Brown, Time in a Bottle, Don’t Mess Around With Jim

 

4)      Ted Nugent: (Kid Rock---Hey, He DESERVES this intro)

Yes, when it comes to politics, he is bat-shit crazy but you can’t deny him. He meets all the criteria and even at his age Ted is still a bad-ass guitar player. The Nuge belongs in! Cat Scratch Fever, Stranglehold, Wango Tango, Great White Buffalo, Free For All

5)      Blue Oyster Cult: (Will Farrell—More Cowbell!)

Huge in the 70’s! KISS opened for THEM. STILL on tour and the radio every day!

Godzilla, Burnin’ For You, Don’t Fear the Reaper, Cities on Flame, Joan Crawford

6)      Judas Priest: (Axl Rose)

Breaking the Law, Living After Midnight, Screaming For Vengence. Boom!

Created the “Heavy metal look”. First band to be sued for killing their fans.

 

7)      Ozzy Osbourne: Solo Artist (Sharon Osbourne)

If Ringo Starr is in for his solo work, Ozzy deserves to be for his!

“Crazy Train” is now in car commercials and played at every NFL game.

 

8)      Randy Rhoads: Sideman (Ozzy Osbourne)

Played in Quiet Riot before joining Ozzy. Still considered one of the greatest.

 

9)      Bob Ezrin: Producer (Alice Cooper)

Produced ALL of Alice’s greatest hits: I’m 18, School’s Out, Billion Dollar Babies… 

      Lou Reed: Berlin, KISS: Destroyer (and The Elder), Pink Floyd: The Wall and more.

 

10)  Warren Zevon: Singer/Songwriter (Jackson Browne) Accepted by Jordan Zevon

LONG overdue. Musical genius. I miss him nearly every day.

FINAL JAM: Jackson Browne / Bruce Springsteen / Bob Dylan / Bonnie Raitt / Stevie Nicks / Joe Walsh / Don Henley / Waddy Wachtel / Patterson Hood 

                                    NO Werewolves! Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me>Play it All Night Long>Keep Me In Your Heart

                                                                        Not a dry eye in the house.

                               

  CLASS OF 2021 (Classic Rock and 80’s Metal)

 

11)  The Doobie Brothers: (Cheech and Chong)

They deserve to be in for the name alone. Plus, their episode of “What’s Happening”. 

      China Grove, Black Water, Listen to the Music, Jesus is Just Alright

 

12)  Foreigner: (Rod Stewart)

Headknocker, Hot Blooded, Urgent, Double Vision, Cold As Ice, Juke Box Hero

Classic rock, mega hits, still touring, unlike Rage Against the Machine!

 

13)  Pat Benetar: (Neil Gilardo) Although, he will probably demand to get an award, too. 

      Female Rock Pioneer. Heartbreaker, Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Fire and Ice, You Better Run

 

14)  Joe Walsh: (Jimmy Bufffett)                                                                                          

      James Gang. Coolest member of Eagles. Should have been President in 1980!            

      Turn To Stone, Rocky Mountain Way, Life’s Been Good, The Confessor

 

15)  The Runaways: (Rodney Bingenheimer)

Groundbreakers! First female rock band launching Joan Jett/Lita Ford.

Cherry Bomb (RIP Kim Fowley), You Drive Me Wild

 

16)  Bad Company: (Jimmy Page)

Paul Rogers on vocals. First band Zeppelin signed to Swan Song Records.

Bad Company, Feel Like Making Love, Moving On, Good Loving Gone Bad

 

17)  Meatloaf: (Jim Steinman)

Bat Out of Hell sold 43 Million copies!  Only Back in Black and Thriller sold more.   

      Two out of Three Ain’t bad, Paradise By the Dashboard Light, I Would Do Anything..

 

18)  Boston: (Todd Rundgren)

Two big records with half a dozen hits that are STILL on the radio every day!

More Than A Feeling, Rock and Roll Band, Peace of Mind, Don’t Look Back, Smokin’

 

19)  REO Speedwagon: (Neal Schon)

Kinda lame now, but in their day they ROCKED! Once Gary Richrath left it was over.

Riding the Storm Out, Roll With The Changes, Keep On Loving You, Take It on the Run

 

20)  Styx: (Rick Neilson)

Very similar story to REO, which is why they tour together so often. Can’t deny the hits.

Babe, Lady, Crystal Ball, Come Sail Away, Blue Collar Man, Renegade, Mr. Roboto

 

21)  Twisted Sister: (Alice Cooper)

Paid their dues the hard way, eventually got their hits and made a career out of it.        

     You Can’t Stop Rock and Roll, I Wanna Rock, We’re Not Gonna Take It.

 

22)  Quiet Riot: (Eddie Trunk)

Technically, two big hits, but they were pioneers of early L.A. metal and deserve a spot.

Metal Health, Cum On Feel the Noise, Mama Weer All Crazee Now

 

23)  Motley Crue: (David Lee Roth)

Bad Boys of 80’s metal. Took rock decadence to a new level. Retired before they died.

Shout at the Devil, Looks That Kill, Home Sweet Home, Girls-Girls-Girls, Dr. Feelgood,

 

24) Motorhead/Lemmy: (Scott Ian)
Groundbreaker. Only one big hit, unless you count the cover of Louie Louie, but c’mon. He was a legend. There will never be another

Lemmy. Ace of Spades.

25) Ronnie James Dio: Solo Artist (Ritchie Blackmore--How BAD-ASS would that be?)

ENCORE: Man on the Silver Mountain / The Mob Rules / Rainbow in the Dark

CLASS OF 2022 and Beyond

Iron Maiden, Rainbow, UFO, Scorpions, Ratt, Poison, Ministry/Trent Reznor, Megadeth, Anthrax, Slayer, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Tool, Rage Against The Machine, Pantera, The Replacements, Big Star and Devo.


After THAT you can let in Sonny & Cher, The Monkees, The Carpenters, Peter Frampton, George Thorogood, Foghat, Bachman Turner Overdrive and Kansas. (And I fucking HATED Kansas)



After THAT you can let in Chic, Todd Rundgren, Kraftwerk, Puff Daddy and whatever lame-ass douchebags the people who run I-Heart radio deem worthy. My work here is done. Discuss. - Rev Todd.

Journey Was The Bridge Between 70's and 80's Rock - by Wal Ozello

By Contributing Pencilstorm Writer, Wal Ozello

This coming Friday night, April 7, Journey will finally earn their rightful seat in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.  Unfortunately, the controversy around whether or not former front man Steve Perry will be in attendance has overshadowed the importance of this band in Rock history. (Also... how about no word of all the other players including founding member Gregg Rolie?)

Much like their hometown Golden Gate Bridge spans across the bay and connects San Francisco to Sausalito, Journey effectively connected 70's Classic Rock to 80's Power Rock.  Rooted in the San Francisco sounds of bands like Santana with a thick mix of blues, rock and jazz, Journey evolved over the years with different members much like their fellow 2017 inductee: Yes.

You can still hear their classic rock roots on their earlier albums like Infinity, Evolution and even Departure. Listen to the 70's feel in the chord structure, guitar and rhythm sections in both these songs, while the 80's feel of power rock can be felt emerging from the melody and keyboards. 

Where the band begins to push the synthesizer and arena rock envelope is in their much more successful albums, Escape and Frontiers. Here in Separate Ways is a prime example of where Neal's angry hard guitar meets power synth, topped with driving drums and bass, layered with Steve's bluesy and emotional vocals. 

For all intents and purposes, Journey invented the Power Ballad with songs like Send Her My Love, Opens Arms and probably the best 80's ballad ever, Faithfully. While the piano and vocals dominate this song, it's really the pounding, massive drum fills and wailing guitar solos that really make this song stand out.

Journey never transitioned into the MTV generation well, and due to Steve Perry's personal issues (his mother passing away during the recording of Raised on Radio and a degenerative bone condition discovered after the release of Trial By Fire), the band never had the success they had in the late 70's and early 80's.  Steve had a shortlived solo career while Neal and Jonathan teamed up with John Waite from The Babies to form Bad English, then Neal went on to play in Hardline.  Journey has tried to rekindle that magic over the years and now are basically a touring band with their new singer, Arnel Pineda.

There are many reasons why Journey belongs in the Rock Hall. Don't Stop Believin' is the most downloaded song in history. All the members of the Escape/Frontier line-up are virtuosos in their own right. Steve Perry has one of the most awesome voices in rock, Neal Schon plays a killer guitar, Jonathan Cain's talent as keyboardist is only superseded by his songwriting skills, Ross Valory plays a funky rock bass and Steve Smith is a god on drums.

But the most important thing is the impact Journey has had in rock history. We'd never have 80's rock music without Journey.  Van Halen's 1984 wouldn't have been the success it was if Journey hadn't lead the way with the powerful synth-guitar formula. Bands like Aerosmith and Van Hagar could have never made their triumphant return to rock n roll without Journey opening the door to Arena Rock.  There would be no Bon Jovi, no Huey Lewis & The News, Duran Duran, David Lee Roth, and any other Hard Rock band. We would have missed out on every hard rock power ballad that was ever written. Even Prince was influenced by their work. Concerned that Purple Rain sounded too much like Faithfully, The Purple One played the song for Jonathan Cain before its release to ask for his blessing.

I'm sure there are those that would argue a world without Bon Jovi and Huey Lewis & The News would be just fine, if not better. Those are probably the people that believe Classic Rock should have never died and their dislike of Journey runs deep.

Journey nailed the classic rock coffin shut with their release of Escape and Frontiers, ushering in a new era of rock 'n' roll. I, for one, am thankful they did. Classic Rock was going to evolve and it was better for Journey to take it into the direction they did. Congrats on your induction into the Rock Hall of Fame.

A child of the 80's, Wal Ozello is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's the author of the science fiction time travel books Assignment 1989, Revolution 1990 and Sacrifice 2086 and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

KISS Kountdown Addendum: I Call Bullshit On The Rock Hall by Wal Ozello

Let me start by saying I still hate KISS. I still feel they ruined rock and roll for me.

But that's MY vision of rock and roll and that's all it is - my vision. Who am I but some rock blogger? Somehow, the executives at the Rock Hall think they know better than me. That they know better than everyone.  And that's bullshit.

There's been 12+ days of blogging about KISS here at pencilstorm, lots of different guest writers, and I can't believe that none of us picked up on one fact that I think it the biggest piece of bullshit that the Rock Hall has ever done.

The other nightt, only the four original members of KISS were inducted into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. That's right. Only the four original guys.

No Bruce Kulick. No Eric Carr. No Tommy Thayer. All guys that contributed to the overall, long-term success of the band. But none of them received the Rock Hall honor. They were forced to sit in the audience.

By comparison... you know how many Grateful Dead members were inducted back in 1?  Twelve. Members of the Eagles in 1998?  Seven. How many from the E. Street Band this year? 10. Heck the E. Street Band soaked up at least 30 minutes of stage time giving their "Thank you's."

Here's the thing - the President and CEO of the Rock Hall decided that only the four original members of KISS should be inducted.

And to that I call "Bullshit." A band is a band, and whether one guy sings in it today and another tomorrow, it's still a band.  When Van Halen was inducted, they accepted David Lee Roth right along with Sammy Hagar. Anything else would have just been wrong.

Here's the crazy thing. The Rock Hall has turned into "The Establishment." The type of organization that rock n roll was set up to hate and rebel against.

It's time to stand up and voice our opinion. We all need to email the Rock Hall and call "Bullshit." Some guy in some boardroom shouldn't be making these decisions - the fans should. That way bands like Cheap Trick, Journey, and Mott the Hoople all have a fighting chance to get into the Rock Hall. Because what the fans say matter.

Instead of some Boardroom Rock Hall Executives inducting bands like ABBA.  That's right folks. Let me poor salt in your wound. You're at home right now complaining that your beloved band isn't in the Rock Hall, but ABBA is.

I guess the Rock Hall thinks that Agnetha Fältskog rocks it out better than Vinnie Vincent.

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

Learn more about Wal Ozello and other Pencilstorm contributors by clicking here

KISS Ruined Rock N Roll Forever by Wal Ozello

This is day 8 of Kiss Kountdown to Rock Hall. Click here for day 9.

Kiss Ruined Rock n Roll Forever by Wal Ozello

Several decades ago I was with my band, Armada, trying to break into the Cleveland/Akron market. A friend of a friend got us our first gig at the Akron Agora. We were third on the bill – playing from 9:30-10:30 and had to basically open for the opening band. That’s a hard kick in the chest for any lead singer, especially when we had been headlining weekends at the Alrosa Villa for two years or so.

After we rocked the house, we were followed by the #2 band on the bill. They were all dressed completely in black. Each guy had dyed their hair pure black, put on white powder make up, and black eyeliner. Except for the lead singer who had dyed his hair platinum blond. Just before going on stage they all glued on black Lee press-on fingernails.

I don’t remember what they played or how they sounded. But I do remember sitting there thinking how much time and effort my band had put into perfecting covers like Spirit Of The Radio, Freewill, Magic Power, and Modern Day Cowboy and then had to follow a circus act.  That’s what the sound guy called them, “A Circus Act.”

It was that moment in time that I despised the fire-breathing, blood-spitting Gene Simmons from KISS. I knew my band’s unique blend of pop and prog would never see the light of a major recording studio because we didn’t have that “marketing thing.”

To me, KISS was an average rock n roll band from New York City. They were nowhere near the level of acts like Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, Lou Reed and others that came from the same era.  So KISS did what any marketing guru would do and came up with another reason to come see them play: make-up, performance tricks, crazy costumes.  Basically a circus act.

They were a hit.  Everyone everywhere began to worship them as rock gods. In fact, check out all the other pencilstorm blogs this week that sing their praise.

But this circus act called KISS had a huge adverse effect on modern popular music.  No longer was songwriting or musicianship important. A straight-up rock n roll show wasn’t good enough for the likes of Warner, RCA, and PolyGram anymore – they wanted a circus act instead.

So I didn’t grow up with Bruce Springsteen passion-filled rock anthems, Pink Floyd concept albums, or The Rolling Stones rhythmic rock riffs.

Instead I had Bon Jovi bungee-jumping from the rafters. Twisted Sister dressing up as women. The Prince of Darkness biting the heads off of bats.

In the pop scene, Michael Jackson needed a glove. Prince needed a purple jacket. ZZ Top needed beards, a 1930s Ford Coupe, and spinning guitars. Hell… Milli Vanilli wasn’t even a real band.

And even if the band had talent, they still needed a gimmick. During one of my favorite concerts as a kid, I couldn’t enjoy Steve Vai’s melodic off-phrase solos because David Lee Roth was flying high above the stage on a huge surfboard.

This is was the Rock N Roll I was forced to grow up with all because Gene Simmons wanted to make some money instead of music.

God may have given us Rock N Roll but the guy in charge of purgatory gave us KISS.

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

Learn more about Wal Ozello and other Pencilstorm contributors by clicking here

KISS Monster is a Monster of an Album. No Shit. Seriously. Really. We Are Being Dead Serious. by Matt Walters

This is Day 9 of Kiss Kountdown to Rock Hall. Click here to read Day 10.

Monster is an album, in the classic sense of the word.

It's more of an album than Psycho Circus: the hodgepodge combination
of COS leftovers, Ace and Peter tokens, and songs that producer Bruce
Fairbairn didn't reject by a band he didn't know. It's more of an
album than Music from the Elder: which was half-recorded in three
different states - and I mean both kinds of states, physical and
emotional - by three guys at wit's end with each other and a producer
with a serious drug problem. It's more of an album than Dynasty or
Unmasked: which featured members of KISS working with anyone but each
other, including bass roadies, a faceless drummer, and the unlikeliest
KISS ghost musician to date - a female keyboard player.

Monster is even more of an album than many of the
early seminal albums, when the band was apparently its most insular.
For example, Dressed to Kill is 10 tracks that KISS cobbled together
to make a product as fast as humanly possible, which would seem to
suggest cohesion, except that the collection completely disregards
consistency in tone, attitude, sequencing or theme. Hotter than Hell
and KISS - two of the band's highest-rated releases - both borrow
various (pre-Kiss) Wicked Lester castoffs to flesh out a complete lineup as well
as a straight cover, to boot. I could go on, but you get the idea.

.....which brings me to my next point. Monster is an idea, too. I have
absolutely no intention of taking that idea, Monster, as anything
other than its glorious whole, which is why I will refrain from some
sort of track-by-track rundown with ratings. Monster is not that album
to this reviewer. Monster is the idea that a band 40 years on could
enter the studio and redefine themselves from a small focal point
inside a common, sweaty room. It's a room where KISS huddled together
in ways they never do onstage. It's a space where a song is born out
of two, three, or four guys shouting out ideas and coming to a
compromise, and some of those shouts probably become actual vocals on
this album, in the form of "yeeeeeeeeeeeah!" or "alright!," and
possibly from the general direction of Eric Singer.

But....where was this idea born? Let's flash back to three years ago.

In 2009, KISS released the surprise fan- and critic-favorite Sonic
Boom, which proved handily the band could resoundingly deliver a
modern sounding homage to its late 1970's self. The reviews were nearly
unanimously positive, although there were a few valid criticisms
handed to the band. Although the writing was more in line with the
classic three chord structure the band relied on heavily for the first
seven years of its career, at times the album sounded a bit too much like
caricature rather than creation, and a bit too much like stealing
rather than reincorporating. Nevertheless, even the band's most ardent
detractors made it clear that there were probably enough good ideas
and well-executed songs to concede that the band might be moving
forward, rather than bowing out with a final retirement album and
tour, as was the expectation with the release's initial announcement.
Perhaps most importantly, embedded within the writing credits, overall
vibe, tone, and looseness of the band, there was obviously more
insularity oozing out from beneath the KISS surface since
approximately mid-1976.

In late 2010, it thus came as no surprise to learn that KISS was
making plans to return to the studio, especially in light of how
obviously satisfied they were working with co-producer Greg Collins.
They were also extremely pleased with the streamlined overall process
and result of Sonic Boom, underscored by their willingness to forge
ahead as a vital unit despite an industry-wide decline in album sales.
Interviews with Stanley and Simmons around this time made some of
their intentions clear - to get harder and meaner. But the question
remained - where to go thematically? How would KISS take the positives
from Sonic Boom's culmination-of-KISS into the future with a modern
sounding look forward? Retreading homage territory in 2012 was
pointless, especially for a band that has bragged vitality and new
blood since the 2004 Rock the Nation tour. KISS found themselves at a
crossroads, creatively.

Eighteen months later, fans got their first glimpse, with the summer
single Hell Or Hallelujah. Although the song featured a similar
overall vibe and composition to lead Sonic Boom single Modern Day
Delilah, it contained a more abrasive, up front, dense, thick mix. The
chorus was catchy. The verses were solid. Stanley's voice, while
frayed, was passable, if not very good and above all - fitting.
Reviews were generally positive. Optimism reigned - Monster could be
another big winner.

However, as the samples of the rest of the album were leaked, the
picture became fuzzier. What is this? Some of it made sense, but the
rest was simply too difficult to discern. Many of the snippets
featured just part of a chorus without any further context. It didn't
sound like what we were expecting. Yes, it was heavier and yes it was
harder and meaner - but was this KISS? The jury was out. But when the
rest of the album leaked, the picture became crystal clear.

The whole of Monster is Sonic Boom turned inside out, and more. If
Sonic Boom was an entire, cohesive, delicious orange, Monster isn't
just the insides gushing juice all over your face as you rip it open,
it's the action of ripping it open, itself. The aural center is a
deliberately frenetic mix thick with razor sharp guitars, a bombast of
drums, and a bass tone that slices you in half by boosting the highest
and lowest edges of tone through a cave of distortion. Sonically, the
band KISS has become the desperate, nightmarish effect of Stanley's
frayed vocal cause, just on the edge of viability, just on the edge of
falling apart, just on the edge of something dangerous. It is a
beautiful disaster, and I believe it is thoroughly intentional. You
want rock and roll? It's the rasp of Paul's voice as he screams his
lungs out while the band crashes and burns through your speakers at
the sound of a pulsing, thunderous rhythm. Many critics of this album
will point to the compressed, loud, dense production as a significant
liability. I take the opposite view; it is the album's chief strength.
This is KISS, as in your face as ever before. This is the entire
fucking idea of KISS.

At the center of this, thematically, as they are at the center of all
KISS actions, are the starcrossed-but-sensitive Stanley persona and
Simmons' menacing growl-sleaze. Their hallmarks are there, not only at
the surface but ABOVE it, in Stanley's angry posture-pout in Hell Or
Hallelujah and Shout Mercy, Simmons' playful grind in Eat Your Heart
Out and The Devil Is Me. They're not just self-evident, they're
immediate. There are extremely strong supporting performance and
composition roles played by now-firmly-established members Tommy
Thayer and Eric Singer. Speaking of surface, below it there are also
layers upon layers of vocals, guitars, effects, and nuances - hand
claps, feedback loops, and buried sonic nuggets waiting to be
unearthed. There are embedded harmonies from all four members in
almost every song, inaudible on the 20th listen, unmistakably present
on the 100th. There are riffs drawn from roots influences never as
clearly present in KISS music before, from Zeppelin to Humble Pie,
seamlessly wove into a fabric that retains the indubitable stamp of
the band we love.

Most surprisingly, there are clear brief nods to the predecessor Sonic
Boom, and other KISS albums going back through the canon, all over the
music and lyrics of this release, in carefully embedded but more
seamless, organic ways. KISS playfully recapitulates for extremely
brief moments, before launching into another huge new chorus or
slamming verse. It's almost as if they poke fun at the notion of
borrowing from themselves by tossing off a 2-second ditty from the
past while subsequently punching you in the mouth with the next vital
sequence. The best examples of this conveniently come from the direct
ripped-out middle of Monster, within the songs Shout Mercy and Eat
Your Heart Out. Stanley throws the Ready Steady To Go lyric of
Danger Us in the pre-chorus of Shout Mercy, whips out the guitar
riff exactly once for good measure, and then steamrolls into a perfect
chorus, as if he was taking a past foothill and crafting a mountain
because he felt like it. Eat Your Heart Out takes all the things
that were great about the melodic themes of Nobody's Perfect and
puts them in an entirely new context without once feeling like it's
forced or stolen, going as far as purely virtual-sampling I Got
Something Wanna Talk About from the aforementioned Boom chestnut. And
there's more - from the re-imagining of the Mr. Speed guitar-work
throughout surprise Eric Singer led would-be-hit All For the Love of
Rock and Roll, to the tag of the last three notes of the guitar solo
in The Devil is Me being identical to the tag of the last three
notes of the guitar solo in Say Yeah. These are not accidents or
coincidences.

Yes, Monster is a contemporary KISS album - and it's one that doesn't
sound like '70s KISS and doesn't sound like three years ago's commercial
music scene. It doesn't sound like the mid-'90s, and it doesn't sound
like the early '80s. It's a strange bastard child of an early-'70s heavy
rock band re-imagining itself on the edge of something, while being
smart enough to write sophisticated songs that reference both their
influences and themselves while maintaining something contemporary.

It's difficult to imagine that an album at this stage of the band's
career could be on the level of the group's best '70s material, let
alone Creatures of the Night or Revenge - but there's no question that
this album is near the top of the list, for all the reasons listed
above. In my view, the album is a 9.5 out of 10, and very well might
be KISS' best album, when taken as an ALBUM.

And yes, I am bold enough to say that unabashedly.

Monster is an album, in the classic sense - and it's a hell of an album.

Matt Walters is a contributing writer and utility infielder for the band Roxy Swain. Also, he went on the last Kiss Kruise.

KISS Kountdown Starts April 1st. Ten Days of Kiss. In the Meantime Enjoy Paul Singing a Folgers Commercial

Love em' or hate em', and here at Pencilstorm we have people on both sides, KISS is finally getting inducted into the rock n roll hall of fame. The ceremony is set for Thursday April 10th, so starting Tuesday April 1st, Pencilstorm is surrendering to a full Kiss take over. Nothing but Kiss stories highlighting the good, the bad, and the ugly for ten straight days. Spread the word fellow members of the KISS Army. And you KISS haters too. Or should I say, Shout it, Shout it, Shout it Out Loud. P.S. submissions welcome. - Colin G.

For a taste of what is to come please click here to enjoy "Kiss Rocks vs Kiss Sucks" by yours truly. 

And without further adieu, here is everybody's favorite Starchild singing a Folgers commercial. (Shout out to Aaron Beck for sharing this)    And below that, a secret bonus track. Paul's vocal timeline on the song "Love Gun"

Paul Stanley sang this ad for Folgers brought to you by http://chrisgossett.com/KISS.htm and is set to his two solo album covers, from 1978, the Paul Stanley album, and the 2007, Live To Win album.

Gene Simmons' voice timeline: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=veZ3tm3UaPQ&lc=SwT6RKVi6oct6AJAn2C5uEVyvUbAiubNJkZX_AI4Qug This video shows Paul's voice trough the years. The example that I chose was "Love Gun" song. So, basically, It will be shown a sample of Love Gun for each year with some comments about his perfomance and some arbirtrary appointments.