Why I'd Be Rooting for Portugal (if I cared, that is) by Scott Plez

Why I’d Be Rooting for Portugal (if I cared, that is)

--by Scott Plez

Here’s the truth that I should state right up front: I hate soccer. Always have and probably always will. On the day that the U.S. was playing Ghana in both teams’ first game in the group stage of the World Cup, I said to a soccer-loving friend of mine that I wouldn’t be watching. Why? Because, I said, if soccer was a sport I could bring myself to care about, a U.S. vs. Ghana game wouldn’t be considered a contest at all. In any sport that I could respect, the U.S. would always be a big-time favorite against a country like Ghana, but soccer’s not like that. It’s a game where we have to sweat games against places like Costa Rica and Honduras. Any sport like that wasn’t worth watching, I said, and he took that reason as some sort of flag-waving, America-first comment, but really, I didn't mean it that way at all. In fact, I routinely root for "the other team" against the U.S. in lots of team sports precisely because I love the story of the underdog beating the behemoth. We’re all pretty much suckers for scrappy underdogs that beat the arrogant team that comes in expecting to win, aren’t we?

Bear with me now for an instructive little detour back to the more familiar world of football—American football, that is. I don’t follow the pros much, but I sure do love some college ball, and I'm a pretty obsessive Auburn fan. (War Eagle!) And in case you don’t know much about the Auburn vs. Alabama rivalry in the annual Iron Bowl game, let me give you a quick primer on the subject. Most Auburn fans actually kind of love being in second place in the state behind the University of Alabama because that means when we beat the big guys from Tuscaloosa, the win is even sweeter. When they beat us, they usually just breathe a sigh of relief. When we beat them, it's most often a howl of jubilation. And yes, I know that Auburn is itself a football powerhouse compared to most teams, but the only team we truly care about beating every year is Bama, the true Gargantua of college football.

All of the other games can be cancelled for all I care as long as we can play that one. And if we win only three Iron Bowls every decade, I'm ok with that. I DON'T want to be Bama. I'd rather lose ten rivalry games in a row than become Bama. And most Auburn fans--whether they would admit it or not—prefer for us to be the underdog who beats Bama than to be SEC champs or even national champs. I think it would be harder to find a fan base less upset about losing the national championship game than Auburn fans were when the Tigers lost to the Seminoles of Florida State back in early January. Why? Because we’d not only already beaten Bama, but we’d beaten them in just about the most devastating way possible when Chris Davis famously ran an attempted last-second field goal back 109 yards. They had a better team than Auburn. They had a Heisman trophy candidate at quarterback. They had been the favorites for the national championship all year and ranked number one for much of the season. But we won that game. And in doing so, we took away what Bama fans think of as almost a birthright: the championship of the state of Alabama.

Bottom line: Winning is sweetest when it’s unexpected. Tyson beating Buster Douglas would barely be a footnote in the history of boxing now. But Douglas beating Tyson? That’s a story.

Anyway, that's my long way of explaining that I do not relish being in the overdog position. In fact, I would rather be a fan of the underdog, and I don’t think I’m all that unusual in that. So the reason I don't like soccer has nothing to do with the fact that I don’t get to wear my American flag t-shirt and put my number one finger in the air as they win game after game. I would not suddenly become a big fan if we became a soccer power. That ain't it. I'm not that kind of fan. In 2012, Auburn went 3-9 and lost every SEC game. Didn’t matter to me. I would still have put twenty bucks on the Tigers come Iron Bowl day, if anyone had been willing to take that action.

Here's what I meant:

For the last 30 years or so, we have been putting one heck of a lot of resources into becoming an international soccer power, right? Youth leagues and Olympic development squads and all that have been trying to develop talent here. And it's become a very popular sport among young people. And we really do try. So with all of the money and all of the millions of hours we have collectively been spending on the sport, an industrialized power like the United States should have be able to become pretty darn great at this game in thirty years of trying. And we have, kind of, but we really should have been able to do better than we have. Remember, we put people on the moon less than ten years after saying we would. We should be able to become a world power in any team sport we decide to.

And like I said, we kind of are. I mean, we did qualify for the 2014 World Cup tournament, which is a big accomplishment in soccer, no doubt about it. Every four years, there are over 200 teams trying to qualify for 32 spots in the World Cup. Each team that gets there has to win or at least do very well in their particular confederation. Ours is called CONCACAF (not exactly the most euphonious of names), and our confederation gets three or four representatives in the World Cup. With 41 members in CONCACAF, just getting to the World Cup tournament is a big deal.

But really, why should it ever be a question of whether we will qualify for this tournament? We will have to qualify for the 2016 Olympics in basketball, too, by playing in a pre-Olympic tournament in our region, but can you imagine we will have any trouble getting there? You think there’s any chance we won’t qualify for the next World Baseball Classic? We won’t always win it, but there’s just no doubt we’ll get in. But in soccer, just qualifying for the world championship tournament is a big deal. It’s actually in doubt whether we’ll get in against competition from the likes of Aruba and Grenada.

To me—and I’m absolutely certain that soccer fans would disagree 100%—the fact that a superpower like the United States has to sweat qualifying for an international competition in ANY team sport suggests not that something's wrong with us or that we lack commitment to the sport, but that something's wrong with the sport itself. What kind of randomness is going on in that sport when we can't at least expect to qualify for the world championship tournament? I don't mean we should always be expected to win it, but shouldn’t we at least feel assured that we could qualify for the event? And when we get to the opening round of that event, I do hope we can expect to get by Luxembourg, should they be unlucky enough to draw the mighty United States of America.

Imagine if we were worried about whether we could beat Suriname so that we could guarantee a spot in the world basketball championship. Or if we got by Suriname to win our way into the tournament, only to find ourselves up against the formidable foe of Uzebekistan, who comes into the game a ten-point favorite. Never gonna happen. We may not always win the gold, but we're going to be a world power in basketball no matter how low we go in the sport. We used to routinely win the gold with a bunch of college players who got pulled together into a team only a few weeks before the Olympics. After we started using NBA players, we starting thinking—and rightly so—that we would probably never “lose” the gold, as if it was assumed to be ours. But then, when we ONLY got a bronze in the 2004 Athens Olympics in basketball, we went nuts and said never again. We got Coach K. in there and have won gold at both Olympics since then. Now I suppose we’re back to assuming that gold medal belongs to us, and that’s why I always root for Nigeria or Singapore to shock the hell out of Lebron and company.

A small country beating us in a team sport should be a shocker. I may sound like a little culturally insensitive for saying so, but yes, it should be a big story when we can't dispatch with Guatemala in any team sport. But I base that statement on arithmetic, not on cultural supremacy. We have over 300 million people living here compared to about fifteen million in Guatemala. And our GDP is roughly 1000 times larger. Which country do you think has a better chance of producing a good team in any sport it cares about? But I looked it up. Back on June 12 of 2012, Guatemala darn near beat us in a tie game that ended 1-1. Imagine that.

And in any other sport, I would wish they had beaten the U.S., because that should be a great story. But it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal in soccer because the scoring is so random that, in any given game, you might as well not call any team a favorite. Now, I'm sure this is not true when you talk about teams at different levels of competition. The United States national team is going to beat the best high school team in the country by a score of about 50-0. I get that. But at the same level of competition, any given game might as well be flipping coins.

Now, baseball can be that way, too, in any given game, but that's why they play 162 games in a season and seven game series in the post-season. The New York Yankees are NEVER going to lose to a local American Legion team, and they'd probably only lose about one out of fifteen or twenty to a good college team, but they are only going to win maybe six times out of ten against the last-place team in the American League East. But when you play that team nineteen times in a year, the odds start to be stacked a little bit in favor of the slightly better team.

But World Cup soccer, which seems at least as random and chaotic as baseball, isn't played in series. They play one game to decide who's better: the USA or Ghana. After a three-game round robin group round, the top 16 teams out of 32 are put into one-game knockout rounds.

Golf can also be kind of chaotic on any given stroke or hole. You get a good bounce here or an unlucky gust of wind here and there, and on any given stroke, you and I might just have a chance at hitting a better shot or making a better putt than Tiger Woods. But that’s why you play eighteen holes, not just one. And in a big tournament, you do that for four days in a row. So at the end of that time, after 72 holes and about 280 strokes for the top players, it's highly unlikely that anyone but the best golfers in the tournament are going to be at the top of the leaderboard.

Not so with World Cup soccer. I didn't watch the game against Ghana, but I saw the next day that the U.S. won on one of those corner-kick-and-header plays very late in the game. So I guess with that header, we proved we're better than Ghana. But if that shot had instead hit the post, it would have been a tie. I know a game in any sport can be decided on a narrow margins like that—for example, in the amazing 109 yard botched-field-goal-gets-run-back play I mentioned above—but in sports that I care most about, those moment are special precisely because they are not the routine thing. Most football games are won by a couple of touchdowns, and you usually much know who's going to win by halftime—and often before the kickoff even. I mean, Appalachian St. is just not going to beat Michigan very often. You can feel pretty safe penciling in a W for the Wolverines when they take on any Southern Conference team. Hell, you could just risk it and use a pen. And that's how it should be. It's the fact that most outcomes are expected and predictable that makes a dramatic outcome dramatic. If they're all dramatic, to me, that's not drama, that's chaos.

That's why, if soccer were a sport I could care about, the United States would have been expected to walk all over Ghana. And that's why, if it were a game I cared enough about to watch, I'd be rooting for Portugal in the upcoming match.

But I don’t. So for now I say go Team America! Win enough to make me respect soccer, and maybe I’ll care enough to root for the other team.

--

Scott Plez (rhymes with hot fez) is a retired motocross champion who is perhaps most well-known for issuing an open challenge to Gene Simmons for a million-dollar skins game of miniature golf. In his free time, Plez engages in high-risk ukulele stunts and reads Archie comics. His goal in Plez-Splanations is to inspire others to speak freely and think even more so. Plez's greatest disappointment in life is that he was not chosen as Malcolm Young's replacement in AC/DC, a move the band must now recognize is the greatest tactical error in their 40-plus year career. War Eagle!

USA v Ghana Recap & Portugal Preview by Greg Bartram and Brian Phillips

USA v Ghana Recap. 5 questions for Greg Bartram and Brian Phillips. Click here for 5 World Cup questions Part one and  Part two

Click here to read "If I Cared, Why I Would be Rooting for Portugal"

1) Wow. Big win. What impressed you about team USA's victory? What are concerns moving forward?

GB) Ghana really carried most of the run of play...the last number I saw was 59%-41% possession in favor of the Black Stars. GK Tim Howard was positionally spot-on, and the US defenders didn't allow a ton of opportunities in spite of Ghana's possession. The US were dangerous on most of their set pieces, and that will need to continue as they face stronger competition.

Moving forward, those possession numbers have to get better. Bradley was strong in the back, but was well covered once he got forward, and he needs to find a way to get into space and utilize his strength on the ball.

Bp) Certainly the USA showed a ton of grit and sometimes that can be enough. Klinsmann decided he was going to keep the defense compact and for the most part the strategy worked. We forced Ghana to the outside and fortunately we were able to survive all those dangerous balls being whipped in from the flanks. Ghana's one goal was the only time the central defense fell apart to a serious degree. Howard was great when needed, but what else is new? My man of the match was Jermaine Jones. The outside defender was rugged and relentless. 

I'd echo Greg's concern. We have to figure out a way to possess the ball. I'd also agree that Bradley has to be much more effective in the attack. Look for Portugal to echo Ghana's strategy with tight marking on Bradley. On the opposite side of Jermaine Jones is Darmarcus Beasley. Not a natural defender, he is the weak link in the back. Look for superstar Christiano Renaldo to attack his side of the field with impunity. 

 2) After Dempsey scored thirty seconds into the match, Ghana seemed to settle down and be in control for long stretches. Were you bracing for the equalizer sooner or later? How surprised were you by how quickly Team USA responded? 

GB) That quick strike might have been a bad thing...Ghana seemed to realize right away that this wasn't going to go the same way it had for them in the past, and then they dialed it in and paid a lot more attention. I cannot understand why they didn't start Kevin-Prince Boateng. He subs in at the 59th minute mark, and control goes even MORE Ghana's way.

Bp) I wasn't at all surprised at Ghana's play. This is a really good team and we were lucky to beat them. Let's be honest, team USA played long stretches of that game in a very defensive posture.  I'd agree that Boateng should have started. I know he's had injury issues, but he's a nice player and gives this young team some veteran leadership.

3) We lost our really fast guy to a hamstring injury, but our next opponent, Portugal, lost three players in a blowout loss in Germany in their opening game. Which team is in better shape heading into the match on Sunday.

GB) I think this favors the US. They pulled of a gritty character-builder of a win without Altidore, and can build on that. Portugal, on the other hand, loses FOUR players... Pepe to stupidity (he had to lean WAY over to butt that head, so he had plenty of time to be smarter about it), and Coentrao (like Pepe, a defender), forward Hugo Almeida, and GK Rui Patricio, so that's two defenders, a forward, and starting GK...Tha's a lot of change.

Bp) I know a lot of US supporters are down on Altidore, but we don't have anybody else like him. Fast, big... He's our Beast Mode if you will. That said Portugal is the desperate side here without very important pieces. We are certainly lucky to face them at much less than full strength. Don't forget that superstar Renaldo's knee is hardly 100 percent. I'll be watching him very closely. 

4) I took Owen (Colin's Ten Year Old Son) and his buddies out to Rooster's to watch the opening game and it was fun to watch them, watch a soccer game with people going nuts and chanting USA and all that. How big is it for the overall popularity of the sport in the USA for the United States to have a good showing? 

GB) The World Cup is the very best of the sport...the best players, all playing for their country, and they've worked their butts off to even get here, The tournament starts with over 200 nations trying to get here, so it's harder to get in than the Olympics. I think it's great for the game, and all the kids who are playing FIFA World Cup on their home gaming systems can see these names they've seen on their TVs forever...I think it's awesome.

America's biggest challenge with soccer is that our best athletes have many many other sports competing for their attention. As MLS grows (and remember that the US hosted the 1995 World Cup, a mere two years before the inaugural season of Major League Soccer), and as more and more young athletes begin to realize that playing soccer at the highest level is an option for them, then the better it is for the American version of the game.

BP) To know where the sport is in America now you have to know what it was like 24 years ago. The USA hadn't been in the finals for 40 years and yet..... I had to call bars all over my area of Seattle before I found one beaming in the USA/Italy match. I was the only one in the joint let alone watching. No one cared. The growth since then has been phenomenal. Regardless of the USA's showing from here on out there's no looking back now. We're past the time where interest flared up every four years only to be quickly snuffed out. MLS attedance is better and better. Amazing new stadiums dot the nation. Americans are looking for English Premiere teams to support. It's no accident how easy it is to find EPL matches on the tube here. People are watching and there's money to be made. Speaking of money.... Look how many select soccer clubs exist just in Central Ohio now. Players have their pick. Amazing!

5) FIFA and match fixing seem to come up in the same sentence more often than not. To me, the rules of soccer combine extremely subjective calls with extremely harsh penalties which is a recipe for match fix rumors no matter what the intention of the referee. The penalty kick in the Brazil vs Croatia comes to mind. If you were elected the new president of FIFA, what changes, if any, would you make to ensure the credibility of the sport in the future?

GB) I might add another linesman or two, or add a second ingame official as the NHL did. It's made a difference in hockey, and the extra skater doesn't interfere with the game.

BP) Greg you might be on to something. These players are so fast. Perhaps the current three man team is not up to the challange. I really felt FIFA was getting a handle on all the diving and carrying on, but to be honest this World Cup has seen more overacting than a Chuck Heston flick. I'd renew efforts to get that garbage out of the game. I'd also remove the 2022 cup from Qatar and push for those who took bribes to be prosectued (and don't tell me no money changed hands there.)

5 More World Cup Questions for Greg Bartram and Brian Phillips

I sort of consider myself the average "American" soccer fan. I enjoy the game but typically  just drink a beer and scream real loud when a ball gets close to the net. With the 2014 World Cup almost set to pop, I thought the time was ripe to ask local soccer experts -  CD1025 DJ Brian Phillips and renowned Photographer/Musician Greg Bartram - some of my dumb-ass soccer questions to help get up to speed on what I need to know.- Colin G   Click here for questions 1-5

6)What players do I need to keep on eye on that can make a big difference helping Team USA advance?

BP) Up until Saturday's friendly with Nigeria (also a World Cup bound side) I was very concerned with our defense. It seems Klinsman has arrived at shape he's pleased with however and the USA certainly played a solid game in the back. For all of this to work Real Salt Lake midfielder Kyle Beckerman (he of the wicked dreds) will have to live just to the top of our defensive four clogging up passing lanes and generally lending a stout hand in the middle. His success would allow fellow midfielder Michael Bradley to focus on creating offensively. 

Striker Jozy Altidore is another important piece. Up until Saturday's two goal outburst he hadn't scored in any match, for club OR country, in 2014. Altidore has be in top form, ready to turn and fire on goal. Sometimes he'll need to play with his back to the net, holding up the ball with strength and finding Clint Dempsey in space. The more he can be a force, the more room for Dempsey to run free. Defenders have to be so worried about his strength and athletisism they forget every one else.

Another couple of players I'll be watching are outside defenders DaMarcus Beasley and Fabian Johnson. Klinsman would like to push both of those guys up into the attack. Can they do that and get back and cover? Will others track back quickly to prevent counter attacks? It's a risky, but exciting tactic. Look to see how much we're able to employ them offensively.

GB) Brian’s got that pretty well covered, but it’s a different squad than we’re used to seeing. The two guys who scored for the US here in the last incarnation of the traditional US 2-0 win over Mexico, Eddie Johnson and Landon Donovan, won’t be there, so guys who aren’t known for their scoring touch have to find it.

Also, transition, transition, transition…the midfielders have GOT to be strong supporting both up top and in the back.

7) The World Cup is a really big deal. Can you recommend a good spot to go watch the games to catch the excitement? With kids? Without?

BP) Thanks to the Crew Columbus has over the past couple of decades turned into a soccer town. There are no shortage of watering holes featuring the matches. Fourth Street Bar and Grill comes to mind. Also I'll be hosting an event with CD1025 at The Elevator Brewing Tap Room at 171 N. Fourth for the Portugal game. We'll be watching just feet from the Elevator's brewing operation on the big screen with a $2 pint special and food trucks (hint hint hint). 

As for watching with your kids? I'd probably watch with them at home. People can get a bit nuts. Maybe invite a few neighborhood kids over. 

GB) Sounds like the Elevator’s gonna be a good one. Also, Fado at Easton was just rated as the best place in Ohio to watch World Cup matches, and the Columbus Crew are partnering with them for the tournament. Anyplace you go, it’ll be good viewing.

Want to share it with the kids? I’d call up the members of your son or daughter’s footie side (soccer team), invite players and parents, and host your own with a bring-a-dish-with-ya kinda theme. That way, you don’t have to trouble yourself with the more heavily-partying types.

8) What other teams / players are you most looking forward to watching in addition to USA?

BP) A lot of the usual suspects. Messi (Argentina) Srna ( Croatia) Suarez... though he could be hampered by recent knee surgery...  (Uruguay) Balotelli (Italy) Klose (Germany).... For my money the host nation's Neymar is the most exciting player. 

I'll be very interested in Mexico's fortunes. They barely made the field of 32 and had a terrible qualifying. How many coaches did they go through the past couple of years? I've lost count. They have nice players, but they just haven't figured out how to play together. I always watch England. It's hard to pick against Brazil at home. Cameroon is usually entertaining. Suffice to say a dark horse will emerge from nowhere and at least one superstar will be born in the next month. 

GB) There’s also this fella from Portugal that the US will get a close-up view of named Christian Ronaldo…
France, Germany…I’ve always liked Germany’s game, but I’m pretty interested to see how much Home Country Advantage comes into play.

9) Team USA advances to the next round if…

BP) They have to beat Ghana in the opener. Without that win nothing else is possible. After that they probably have to figure out how to draw with either Germany or Portugal. Good luck! 

GB) Beat the team they should, and at least one team who’s ranked higher. Gotta be riding the wave on the way into the second match, and they’ve GOT to replace Donovan’s experience and scoring.

10)Team USA is in big trouble if..

BP) They lose to Ghana. They backslide into some of the sloppy defending we've seen prior. Altidore has to lead the side in goals. 

GB) They are facing Germany and Portugal without a win. Definitely going to need Vitamin Mo(mentum).

5 World Cup Questions For Greg Bartram and Brian Phillips by Colin G.

I sort of consider myself the average "American" soccer fan. I enjoy the game but typically  just drink a beer and scream real loud when a ball gets close to the net. With the 2014 World Cup almost set to pop, I thought the time was ripe to ask local soccer experts -  CD1025 DJ Brian Phillips and renowned Photographer/Musician Greg Bartram - some of my dumb-ass soccer questions to help get up to speed on what I need to know.- Colin G.

1) Ok, I said I was a soccer dumb-ass so first things first, what time and what channel is the first Team USA World Cup game vs Ghana showing?

Brian - USA/Ghana kick off at 6pm Eastern Monday June 16. USA/Portugal 6pm Sunday June 22. USA/Germany Noon Thursday June 26.

Greg - Here’s a link that lists the other coverage for the first round. This is the last year of ESPN’s coverage contract, and they’re approaching it with the mindset that they want it to be the very best coverage EVER, making it an exceedingly tough followup for FOX.

http://espnmediazone.com/us/press-releases/2014/02/espn-schedule-2014-fifa-world-cup/

2) I have Ghana filed under "American killers." Is that accurate? And if so, what is it about them that seems to give us trouble?

Brian - That's tough for me to answer specific to this World Cup as I have not seen them play. Ghana is perennially one of the best sides on their continent. I'm reading they're strong in the midfield, but perhaps a bit lacking elsewhere. The 13th ranked USA will have to beat the world's 37 to have any hope of advancing. It's really that simple.

Greg - The US have played Ghana 4 times, twice in 1983, once in the 2006 World Cup, losing to them in the Round of 16, and once in the group stage in 2010. They’ve lost all four, but no one who played an any but the last match are still active with their teams. They’ve got some players in the best leagues in the world, but how will they mesh coming into this tournament?

Local connection…both Dominic Oduro (just traded to Toronto, to the great disappointment of my youngest son) and Fifi Baiden of the Crew are from Ghana. Oduro has been called into the Black Stars’ camp on at least one occasion, but has never appeared in international competition.
 

3) There has been much talk about us being in the "group of death." Is it really harder than the other brackets based on World Rankings or is that just ESPN-fueled hype?

Brian - Not in this case. Germany is ranked second in the world and Portugal fourth. Getting out of this group will be one hell of an accomplishment. 

Greg - As Brian said, this group includes the 2nd, 4th, and 37th ranked teams in the world, with the US being ranked 13th. The top two teams will advance, so the US will have to defeat at least one top-5 team to advance…there isn’t any way around that.

4) Don't we have to play a game on top of a mountain in the middle of the jungle or something? Do you feel the climate will help or hurt Team USA  one way or another?

Brian - I don't worry about that stuff. The USA plays in all manner of environments during qualifying. Everything from a blizzard in Denver at high altitude, to the extreme heat of Central America, to the smog and high altitude in Mexico City. If it's an issue we weren't ready to play.

Greg - It’s not so much where they are (although the stadium at Manaus is built in "the heart of the world’s largest rain forest," according to the CBC), as how far they have to go to get there. The US will travel 8,866 miles in the group stage alone, whereas Germany will travel slightly less than a third of the total distance the US will. The USMNT actually have the longest travel schedule of ANY team in the group stage of the World Cup.

5) It seemed odd to me that Landon Donovan was cut from the team at such a late date. Did you find this surprising? Concerning? What was the motive?

Brian - Landon took a year off and he's 32 years old now. I was a bit surprised sure, but he wasn't the only one cut. I don't think there was any motive other than the usual. Jurgen Klinsman would hardly allow politics to sway him one way or the other at this juncture. That said, if the USA performs poorly it'll be the first thing some say. 

Greg - The internet is awash with conspiracy theories, including the thought that US head coach Jurgen Klinsmann is building for 2018, and not taking this one seriously, but I don’t buy into that. I will defer to the words of current LA Galaxy and former USMNT head coach Bruce Arena…"If there are 23 better players than Landon, then we have a chance to win the World Cup." 

5 more World Cup questions for Greg Bartram and Brian Phillips coming soon!