A Review of The Hives show, in Chinese. Suck it, Grantland.

Pencilstorm could be as popular as Grantland if we wanted to. Easy. Truth be told, our writers choose NOT to write for Grantland because they weren't interested in winning some high-stakes, corporate popularity contest. No, sir, here at Pencilstorm we refuse to sell out to the man. That is why we all maintain side jobs and refuse advertising dollars of any kind (at this point). Simply put, we will not compromise our art just to make some easy money. 

Knowing this, you would think the suits at Grantland would be happy with their success and just leave us alone? Instead, they flaunt their popularity by updating their site constantly. OK, guys, we get it, you are "professional writers". Are you so insecure that you take pleasure in running up the score and rubbing it in our face? Classless, but what else would you expect from a company owned by Disney?

To this point we at Pencilstorm have managed to stay professional and not get dragged down into the mudpit for a nasty public ​feud. Still, there comes a time when one must defend oneself. Consider this a shot across the bow, Grantland. Better back off or there is plenty more where this came from (talking to you, Klosterman). Who is so smart now?

A Review of The Hives, Cleveland, OH Sunday March 10th.......In Chinese.​

你好,Malcom,我老对手。

你真的等待着用中文写的Hives评语吗? 哦,多么的自豪,你必须与你的最畅销的书籍和 the high company你保持 in Grantland。Malcom,你可以看到,

我也没有停止写。而且我不只是用英语写,我也开始用中文写。

Malcom, 我现在有您的关注吗?你现在 “Blinking”?是的,我的老朋友,

我现在也回到网上写博客,我觉得我们的竞争走向一个新的“

引爆点”,这一次,我终于找到满意的成果。The Hives......他们他妈的粉碎。他们毕竟是

​The Hives review by Pencil Storm contributor Chris Stellato, President of Columbus School of Chinese. Look for him in the scene from Cleveland below. He is wearing the green shirt.

Like This? You Should Subscribe Here Now: http://bit.ly/VErZkw The Hives anticipated new album Lex Hives is out on June 5, 2012. In celebration, the band is taking over Noisey. Every day this week, Noisey will post exclusive video footage from The Hives performance at Webster Hall Studio on April 26.

Hives live in Cleveland, Ohio March 10,2013. Sorry not the best quality video since recorded on iphone.

Watching the Mildly Inappropriate Parts of 'Predator' with a 7-Year-Old

Yesterday, I had just settled into a comfy recliner for a little downtime after a long day of standing on my feet at Colin's Coffee, when my 7-year-old son Owen came into the family room and challenged me to a one-on-one game of basketball in our driveway. Now, I am nothing if not a "hands on" Dad and have no problem spending hours at a time playing with the little man. Not only is it quality father-son time, I view it as building an emotional firewall for the day when he finally glimpses his college savings account ($76.34). Anyway, on this particular day, busting my ass chasing him all over the court wasn't sounding very appealing, so I stalled for time with a classic parenting diversion tactic.....

"Hey, O, guess what's on? Predator. Want to watch a little bit to see what it looks like"

I was fairly confident this would stop him in his tracks and allow my dogs some precious extra minutes to stop barking. See, for the past three years, every time we went to the library, Owen would grab the Alien vs Predator DVD off the shelf and ask, "Dad, am I old enough to watch this yet?" and I would answer, "No." The upshot of this is that he was dying to get a glimpse of the Predator, as any self-respecting first-grade boy should be. As with life, timing is everything, so today he was in luck. My strong desire to stay reclined triumphed my need to be a responsible parent. So we switched over to AMC.

Now, I'm not a total jack-ass, I didn't give him carte blanche to watch the whole movie. I just kind of flipped back and forth to scenes I felt were only mildly inappropriate for a child his age. Needless to say, he got the gist of the flick pretty quickly. Futuristic alien hunts and kills soldiers until Arnold kills alien. Standard stuff, really. At one point, after the Predator has showcased his laser guns and invisibility by dispatching Apollo Creed and some other dude with relative ease, the native American warrior decided he was going to take matters into his own hands and kill the Predator... his way.

He rips off his shirt, tosses his machine gun in the river, pulls out his knife and holds it in the air pointing towards the Predator. Owen, who hasn't said a word in 10 minutes, summed up the situation and suddenly said: "Dad, this doesn't seem like a very good time to go old school."

"No, Owen, it sure doesn't," I said. I had never heard him use the expression "old school" in my life.

About 20 seconds later we get to hear the scream of the Indian warrior being killed by the Predator. "Well at least he learned a valuable lesson he can use in heaven," Owen said. "You can't fight old school if the other guy is fighting future school."

Or, put another way, don't bring a knife....

Uploaded by ranzischini on 2011-06-12.

The bit that EVERYONE remembers from Predator

... To a laser fight.

BTW, we did then go play basketball. Owen acting as the Ohio State Buckeyes beat me (Duke) in 72-68 in OT. Personally, I think I got some bad calls but what can you do. got to go now. Customer!​

Colin Gawel plays in the band Watershed. He owns a small coffee shop where he bugs his smart friends to send him things to post on Pencilstorm. His son Owen still isn't allowed to check out Predator vs Alien from the Library. More things Colin at www.colingawel.com.