Thoughts on Paris by Wal Ozello

How do you find a word stronger than “tragic”?    Because “tragic” seems too inadequate of a word to define what happened in Paris, France on Friday.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims, their families, and the people of France today.  But we need to give them and the rest of the world more than just thoughts and prayers.

Yes. We must hunt down those responsible for these attacks and make them pay for their actions. That’s a given.

But at some point in the near future, we need to give the world more than retribution, we need to give them hope. Hope that this won’t happen again. Hope that we'll never have to construct another memorial to a fallen soldier or innocent civilian.

I could go on for ever about the world’s need to get along. But someone else said better before me, so take a listen to this song. There is hope for a better tomorrow .

Wal Ozello is a science fiction techno-thriller novelist and the author of Assignment 1989 ,  Revolution 1990, and Sacrifice 2086. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.

Issues 3....2....1 How I Am Voting - by Colin Gawel

I've been flummoxed and flip-flopping on how to vote on Issues 2 and 3 for the past month. I have heard thoughtful arguments from intelligent people on all sides of the issues and many good points can be made in many directions. Alas,  Election Day has arrived so it's time to pull the trigger, or voting lever as it were. I'm not trying to convince anybody how to vote and if you think I'm wrong, there is a good possibility you are right. Anyhoo, my two cents....

Issue 3: Obviously, marijuana should be legal. I'm not going to go into all the reasons why this makes sense but it's time to update our judicial system and stop hassling people who choose to smoke after a long day of work instead of having a drink. I know the monopoly question has many people troubled and I can understand why it does. No doubt that something shady is going on. Still, if a handful of rich dudes getting over on the unwashed public means my friends can smoke up without fear of criminalization, I can live with that trade.

But you know what bothers me? Gummy bears. I know lots and lots of people who smoke pot, and NONE of them prefer it in gummy bear form. I wear many hats but I'm a parent first, and I see nothing positive from offering marijuana in candy form. This is meant for kids and kids only and in good conscience I cannot sign off on this notion. If you want some of grandma's old- fashioned space brownies you are going to have to bake them yourselves. Or put another way, if Owen wants to smoke weed his freshman year in the Towers, he is going to have to choke it down and cough it up from a crappy bong like the rest of us did. If you remove edible marijuana products from issue 3 you have my vote, but until that happens  I'm going to harsh your groove and Vote NO ON ISSUE 3.

Issue 2: At first glance this looks like a no-brainer in the affirmative. But when you consider the source is the Ohio House of Representatives and ponder the long game, it warrants a closer look. Mind you, this is the same party that passed a law allowing people to bring guns into bars as long as they promised not to drink. And fought their own Governor to deny Ohio citizens health care with expanded Medicaid because they disagree with the President's skin color.  (Ok, that's a cheap shot and not true, but I have a bone to pick with the Ohio House. Click here to see why John Kasich agrees with me)

If the Ohio House is for Issue 2, that means there is an excellent chance it's a bad idea. Bad for small business and bad for you and me. I'm voting NO ON ISSUE 2. 

ISSUE 1 : I'm voting Yes  and you should too. This is a no-brainer. Just do it.

Colin Gawel banged this out while giving shoddy service at Colin's Coffee. His new album "Superior - The Best of Colin Gawel" is accepting pre-orders now. Click here for more info.

An Open Letter Concerning Gun Violence to Congressman Steve Stivers by Colin Gawel

Sir, I'm writing you from Colin's Coffee. It's a small business I run in your district and where I have become increasingly weary of opening up the morning newspaper to find yet another story of a mass shooting on U.S. soil. Though I'm no expert, it appears our current gun policy primarily benefits two groups: mass shooters and lobbyists. It seems to be increasingly dangerous and depressing for the rest of us. 

 So, if anybody on Capitol Hill has any ideas on how to put a dent in the growing domestic body count, I for one, would love to hear them. Only Congress can get this ball rolling and as we both know, doing the same thing and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. Perhaps it's time to explore a different approach to help solve this problem unique to our great country.  I would greatly appreciate your help in this matter. Thank you for your time.

Respectfully, Colin Gawel (Parent and small business owner residing in the 15th district.)

Colin Gawel writes songs both solo and as part of the group Watershed. You can read all about it in the best selling book "Hitless Wonder-A Life in Minor League Rock n Roll" by Joe Oestreich. He owns Colin's Coffee and is the founder of Pencilstorm.com . Cheap Trick is his favorite band.

To contact Steve Stivers you can call his office at 614 771 4968 or Click Here for more contact info or to find your representative. 

Surprised by Pope Francis' Stairway to Heaven?

As our Lifestyle blogger, I've asked Wal Ozello to provide some coverage on Pope Francis' historic visit to the U.S.  Here's his thoughts on why this Pope is  a rock star.

If Justin Bieber  released a song the quality of Stairway to Heaven, you'd be justified to be surprised.

If Coach Urban Meyer started spouting love and admiration for the Wolverines and that state up North, your shock would be understood.

A WTF would be completely okay if you saw someone walking on the water during your early morning run along the Scioto River. 

But no one should be astonished by Pope Francis' message or his actions during his trip to the U.S. In fact, we should have expected it. 

As humans, we pick and chose what we want to believe is right and wrong. We end up justifying in our minds are our actions and beliefs. For example, we may stand against abortion and gay marriage and cite a few biblical quotes to support our beliefs but things like supporting immigration amnesty may be in direct conflict of  our personal rules so we ignore the Catholic belief of "Love one another." 

The fact of the matter is, the Pope doesn't have the luxury of believing in some of the teachings of Christ and ignoring the others. He must be the voice of Christ in today's world, challenging everyone he meets to act completely like Christ - not just how your perspective says you should. He know that you can't always get what you want, but I'm sure he prays that we all get what we need.

And if there's anyone that should have the truest perspective of what it means to be Christ-like, it's the Pope. And not just this Pope... any Pope.

Which is probably why we're surprised by Pope Francis' message... many of his recent predecessors have not been as outspoken as him. Some of them may not have carried the cross like Pope Francis does. And certainly some of them may have been more focused on the nuances of the rules, rather than the golden rule itself.

"Be nice to each other," sounds simple and it's easy. All you need is love.

The best thing we can do as Americans, whether your Catholic or not, is to listen to Pope Francis' messages and admire his actions.

The worse thing we can do is forget about him after he's gone.

Remember...  "There are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there's still time to change the road you're on."

Wal Ozello is Music and Lifestyle contributor at pencilstorm.com. When he's not blogging about rock n roll or supporting others, he's writing science fiction novels. His suspense filled time-travel books, Assignment 1989, Revolution 1990, and Sacrifice 2086 can be found at Amazon.com.

Happy Birthday To Me: Cougs at Rutgers - by Brian Phillips

50.  Fiddy. Half a bill. Half a century. Embrace it, I say. The wife says "pick something to do and we'll do it. You are FIFTY after all." Hmmm.....cruise? Nah, that's more her style. Jump out of an airplane? Never once wanted to do that. The Replacements were supposed to be here, and had I known Paul Westerberg would contract scurvy and cancel I would have plowed in the van with our editor and gone to Minneapolis for the show last fall. Too late for all that. Too late for lots of stuff. More days past than future. What to do, what to do, what to do? I know!

22 years it's been since I've seen my school play college football in person. Full disclosure: I attended a great university and had the time of my life. I wouldn't trade those years, that experience and all the people I met for anything. To this day I share with them great memories, friendship, and decades in the third circle of college football hell: I am a Washington State Cougar. And knowing we're horrible and will continue to be horrible I chose for my 50th birthday to drive to New Jersey (of all the Godforsaken places on the planet) to see a team so putrid they could only be the fever dream of a bacteria festering in Chris Christie's bellybutton. Yup. Washington State at Rutgers. Fuck me. 

When I hatched this plan I was not drunk. Not having a stroke. Nothing. A rational-thinking 50 year old man decided that to mark this milestone he would drive 8 hours to purposely see a defense incapable of tackling. Tackling is important in the game of football and the Cougs have - for most of our history - chosen not to do it. Every defensive staff at Wazzu, including the one currently led by prepubescent newbie Alex Grinch, pursue a strategy of running into, and bouncing off of ball carriers. That doesn't work, not even against reigning Big Sky conference 11th place finisher Portland State this past Saturday. 35 point u-dogs were the Vikings of Portland State. Clad in high school uniforms and led by a coach who has been held in interim captivity for a year now, PSU ran amok over the allegedly Pac-12 Cougs for several hundred yards and a 24-17 win in Pullman last Saturday. 

For this reporter it was too late. A Stub Hub 'bot had already belched forth tickets 20 bucks apiece off their face value into my mailbox. A neo-liberal free marketeer would praise the elegant efficiency of the transaction, but as the Vikings skipped off the Martin Stadium turf on their way back to what probably resembles an ironic West Coast take on Cleveland State's campus the wages of football sin were already being paid in full. 

Oh sure, the Cougars can score points almost at will on most afternoons. Last season we lost to Cal 60-59 after missing a 19 yard field goal as time expired. That's called "Coug-ing it." It's a verb, look it up. It means snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and all that cliched shit about teams that can't get out of their own way. We invented that! Even when we're decent, which ain't often, we Coug it. 

Coug-ing it predates current coach Mike "The Pirate" Leach by decades and despite his law degree, and civil war reenactment hobby or whatever the fuck, he's powerless against it. In fact Leach seems to embrace the concept. During his 11-25 tenure in "The Palouse" he's gone for it on multiple occasions on his own 30 yard line. Perhaps he remembered that the Cougs forgot to practice punt coverage, or for that matter kick-off coverage, because Cal scored a good chunk of their points running back kicks that night. 

Here's where it gets good! Guess who the highest paid public employee in the state of Washington is... Yup! Mike Leach. A man who may have stuffed the son of "television personality" Craig James into a metal lawnmower shed one windswept Lubbock afternoon. This has to be the first and only time WSU paid its coach more than those fucking Huskies over in Seattle. Hey, they have their own problems.....paying off former Coach Cutty Sark's bar tab being one of them, but the Dawgs have to be laughing. Leach's agent managed to bury a poison pill in the "Pirate's" contract whereby WSU will be "on the hook" for 60% of his salary should the entire fanbase wish to "mutiny" and demand he "walk the plank." AAARRGHHHH! (Hey, I admit it I fell for all this quirky "He loves pirates, he never actually played football, he's actually a Hobbit" shit.)

So while Ohio State is busy beating Hawaii (Hawaii? why does Hawaii have a football team? there can't be a reason for this) with a dead fish, think of me blowing four hours of whatever life I have remaining reliving my college years. Yay! Go Cougs! I'll let Tom Tuttle from Tacoma, Washington have the final word.

An Interview with Johnny DiLoretto about Mooch and Pinsky

Mooch and Pinsky: The Shocking Story of Two Comedy Legends will be performed at Shadowbox Live on Tuesday July 21st at 8pm. Tickets are $5 and are available @ www.shadowboxlive.org or at the door. Johnny DiLoretto was kind enough to answer a few questions from Colin G. about the show.

CG) You and Jimmy Mak go way back. Do you remember when you first met and what was the first idea you guys performed together in front of an audience?

JD) Yes, absolutely I remember the first time I met Jimmy. How could I forget? He was sporting one of those Michael Jackson red-leather Thriller jackets, a spiked mullet, and no pants. Hard to shake, really.

Jimmy and I were best friends and creative collaborators through high school and college and we made a hundred silly video sketches, but until Mooch and Pinsky, we'd never performed an entire show - that we conceived of - together on stage. This is kind of a silly dream come true. 

CG) Can you give a brief rundown on what Mooch and Pinsky is all about? 

JD) The basic idea behind the show is a theatrical mockumentary. Kind of like This is Spinal Tap, but done live on stage and about a comedy duo instead of a heavy metal band. Mooch and Pinsky were a 1950's comedy nightclub act that hit it big in Hollywood. They made three of the greatest comedy movies of the 60's then vanished. The show is a search for the answer to their mysterious disappearance - and also an excuse for me and Jimmy to dress in drag a couple times...

CG) So at what point did Mooch and Pinsky transform from an idea that sounded good after eleven cocktails to "Let's really do this thing?" Was there one moment when the idea became a reality?

JD) This is exactly the kind of idea Jimmy and I would have had when we were 19. We were drinking one night and kicking around the idea of doing a live mockumentary. Once we settled on that it was just a matter of figuring out the subject. Being Steubenville boys, we thought Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis seemed like a good jumping off point. 

CG) How difficult was it to decide on the names Mooch and Pinsky? Were there other names in the running?

JD) HA - great question. I think we sat around one evening and spent the better part of the night drinking and tossing around names. We wanted one Italian name and one Jewish name. Then we just started throwing them at each other until we started laughing. There were certainly other names in the running. Probably Poppatoozi and Bergman; Nippoli and Klein; Frappatelli and Gould... You get the picture. 

CG) How did you decide who got to be Mooch and who got to be Pinsky?

JD) We just kind of fell naturally into those two parts. The smooth Italian singer turned comedian fell to me; and the wound-up goofball went to Jimmy. But somewhere along the line they both turned ridiculous.  

CG) Does the show change each time you do perform or does it stay pretty close to your original draft? 

JD) This is only the second time we've ever done it. There are only a few tweaks between this and the first performance. But we love the idea. And plan to keep working on it to see where it goes. 

CG) Without giving away too much, do you have a personal favorite moment in the show that people should keep an eye out for?

JD) I definitely think drag turned out to be a surprise highlight of the show. There's a fun "interview" with Mooch's parents with me as the Italian mom that's a lot of fun. But later both of us play a pair of dancing sisters who used to open for Mooch and Pinsky and that bit gets out of hand pretty quickly.  

CG) Do you and Jimmy have any future/bigger plans for Mooch and Pinsky or do you take it on a show by show basis?

JD) A part of the show consists of seeing "clips" from the three Mooch and Pinsky films. We tried to make them look like zany B-comedies from the 60's, but we didn't have the time or resources to pull them off exactly like we wanted. I think that element of the show has a lot of potential -- seeing scenes from the movies, maybe old interviews with the duo, or seeing video from their live TV show, The Milk of Magnesia Comedy Hour.....

Truth be told, midway through writing this show last year we thought it might be a little too out there, but the audience got the concept and loved the characters. Some people even thought they were a real comedy team! So, I think the plan is to just keep pushing the concept forward and see how far we can take it. 

CG) Thanks for answering my questions and best of luck to Mooch and Pinsky.

JD) Thanks Colin! We appreciate the chance to shamelessly promote the show. By the way, tickets are only $5, so if it's abysmal just order a pizza.