Downsizing From My Rock n Roll McMansion to a Condo With a Small Yard - by Colin Gawel

I’ve ended some bands and started a new one. Well, it’s sorta new: Colin and the Bowlers will be playing Sunday, April 29th at Little Rock Bar from 2-5 pm. Yes, you read that right, it’s a day drinking gig for all you Sunday Funday folks. It’s a kinda new idea for a kinda new band. No cover, either.

In the past three years I've recorded or performed with the following bands:

1. Watershed

2. The Lonely Bones

3. Why Isn’t Cheap Trick in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

4. The League Bowlers

5. The Willie Phoenix Tribute Machine

6. Dead Schembechlers

And I was still playing solo gigs and trying to pump out shite for Pencilstorm.

Don’t get me wrong, I did this to myself and it was all tons of fun, but after the release of League Bowlers - Some Balls Deluxe in December 2017, and the passing of our great guitarist Mike Parks in January 2018, I knew it was the end of an era. And besides, I’m getting older and all these early morning coffee shop hours make me sleepy. It was time to downsize from my rock n roll McMansion to a condo with a small yard.

Bowlers vs Bones. That was the question.

The League Bowlers were my original side band: a way to blow off steam between Watershed shows. Once Watershed went on hiatus, it’s didn’t make much sense to have a side band for no band, so I formed The Lonely Bones. I felt like I needed to make a real attempt to establish myself as a valid solo artist (pardon that pretentious term). I wasn’t gunning for the top of the charts or anything, I just had to challenge myself to exist outside the world of Watershed. Thanks to the help of many, I feel like The Lonely Bones accomplished all we set out to achieve. With the release of Superior - The Best of Colin Gawel in 2016, I was ready to close the chapter on that band, if not the songs.

Meanwhile, getting back together in 2016 with the classic League Bowlers line-up of Jim Johnson, Dan Cochran, Mike and myself was truly a blessing. We had a great two-year run and Some Balls is a record that will live forever. But with Mike's passing, and Dan now busy with three young kids and the Four String Brewery to run, it was time to call it a day. I know this sucks for Jim but I’m hoping a version of the League Bowlers with him and Dan can still make special appearances. For instance, we applied to this year’s Comfest. And the nice thing about the Bowlers is whoever has a shirt on that day can be part of the band. Once this thing gets going we can rotate some folks in and out depending on the schedule. 

But if I am only going to have one band outside of Watershed, I can only have one drummer and Herb Schupp & myself started this journey together as lab partners in 7th grade and we are going to ride this thing to the finish line.

Rick Kinsinger does everything. He records the Bones, Bowlers and Watershed and plays in all three as well. None of this happens without Rick. He is playing guitar. No more keyboards. I threw them in the dumpster while moving out of the McMansion.

With Dan wanting to spend more time with his family and play with his original band Feversmile, we needed a new bass player. I’ve always preferred friendship over musicianship so it’s been a treat to spend time again with my old pal Andy Hindman. For those of you that don’t know, Andy grew up with me in Worthington, was the original Watershed roadie for hundreds of shows before getting a better gig with the Goo Goo Dolls. He still works with them to this day. He is also an accomplished musician and recording engineer himself.

I thought about changing the band name but since my merch table only has two CDs available: Colin Gawel - Superior,  and The League Bowlers - Some Balls Deluxe I just wanted to keep it simple. ANOTHER new band would take all kinds of explaining and who has the time or energy for that when we could be drinking a beer and talking about Cheap Trick?

With the new lineup in place, we have been having a blast getting together in my basement playing Bowlers and Bones tunes along with all kind of covers just for kicks.  Our goal is to be a bar band that we would like to see if we were in a bar. Wearing Bowling shirts of course.

So, Day Drinking with Colin and The Bowlers will be happening Sunday, April 29th 2-5 pm at Little Rock Bar. I can’t guarantee we will be great, but I can guarantee it will be fun. I hope you can join us for the ride. - Colin

Jim Johnson With Your Record Store Day Picks

Jim Johnson has worked in the record business since before there were records and is one of Columbus, Ohio's best known drummers. Click here to check him out on The League Bowlers Some Balls Deluxe. Or click here to read an interview. 

This Saturday, April 21, is Record Store Day: a great reason to visit all your local record stores. That is, if you’re hip to the vinyl resurgence, and really, if you’re reading Pencilstorm, you’re already sorta hip. Vinyl has basically saved the record industry from going down the tubes, an industry - I must admit - that has given me a job for most of my life. It was touchy there for a while, in the early 21st century, when Napster and Apple decided music should be cheap or free, and kids got a kick out of stealing music through the internet. Luckily, people still like to hold a piece of music in their hands, and what better to hold than a round groovy piece of plastic, often in a multitude of different colors?

But I digress, back to Record Store Day. There’s always something for everyone, regardless of your taste. I thought I’d do you a favor, and cut through all the goofy bands you’ll have to sort through, to find the good stuff. After all, does anybody really need any more crappy Phish or Grateful Dead records? I think not.

Here’s my picks:

Chuck Berry’s Greatest Hits. A record everyone that loves Rock & Roll should own. It all starts here.

Blue Oyster Cult / Rarities. You gotta delve deep into their catalog to find the good stuff, so I’m hoping this has some cool early tunes. These guys were way ahead of their time.

Smithereens / Play Tommy. RIP Pat, you did good on this.

Good Rats / Tasty. If you’re not hip the the best band out of Long Island in the 80’s, you’re not really hip.

Kinks / Phobia Their last studio album. Kinks collectors, take note.

Nilsson / Pussycats. Classic Nilsson, produced by John Lennon.

Neil Young / Tonight’s The Night, Live At The Roxy. Classic Neil, in a club. As close to hearing him in a garage as you’re gonna get. That’s a compliment.

The Who / The Kids Are Alright. Soundtrack to the movie. These songs were meant to be heard on vinyl.

Coupla others that look interesting: Steve Earle & The Dukes / Live; Living Colour / Live At CBGB’s; Dream Syndicate / How We Found Ourselves. That’s my picks. See ya at the stores, get there early!

P.J. Hogan Talks About Marah and his Successful House Shows - by Colin Gawel

Marah is playing the Hogan House Friday April 20th. Click here to read Marah - Five Songs You Need to Know by Joe Oestreich.

Colin G. - Let's jump right in with the Marah show on April 20th. Why did you want to host this show?

P.J. - Marah is one of my favorite bands of all time.  As far as live rock bands, they and Mekons would probably be my top two current favorite bands.  I saw them many times before they split up and since the brothers have reformed I’ve seen them 3-4 times in Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, and Virginia. And don't get me wrong, I've caught other versions of the band through the years and they have always been excellent. But it's hard to replicate the dynamic Bielenko brothers when they are on stage together. They are a band I’ve reached out to every year or so to see if they would be interested in a house show. As a huge Watershed fan as well, (and your solo stuff) having you open is going to make this an amazing night.  I remember being jealous of reading the article on Pencilstorm on seeing their holiday show in Philadelphia a few years ago. I went to the show this year in Philly and I may make that an annual tradition.

Colin G - Ah shucks, you are too kind. But yes, us Watershed guys have always been beating the Marah drum. It's a thrill for me to weasel onto the bill. Back to your situation,  when booking a show, do you reach out to the artist or booking agent?

P.J. - I’ve had the best luck booking bands by going directly to them through Facebook.  Dealing with booking agents, I’m not always sure they understand what it is I’m doing.  One agent sent me a rider asking for air transportation, hotel, merchandise salesman, etc.  I had to explain that I make 0 money doing this so I don’t have a budget to provide all of those kind of perks.  What I do provide is 100% of ticket price directly to artists and food and bedrooms.

Colin G. - At what point did the idea hosting shows in your basement switch from a dream to a reality?

P.J. - It was kind of a fluke to get into hosting shows.  I’ve always been a huge fan of live music and before having a child probably went to 60 or shows a year.  There is a company called Undertow that books house shows and they were looking for volunteers in Columbus area to host a band called Vandaveer.  My wife, Abbie and I are both big fans so we took the plunge and hosted the show in 2014. It was a wonderful experience. The crowd was respectful and were there for the music.  There was more interaction with the crowd than at a normal show. The last time I had seen Vandaveer at MOTR in Cincinnati the crowd spoke through the entire set. That was the first show we hosted and we’ve hosted Vandaveer every year since and have become friends with the band.  The lead singer recently played a surprise birthday concert for my wife. We had about 30 friends all realizing they were at a concert but my wife was shocked. It was a special evening. There is a video of it I can send.

The next year we hosted another Undertow show for Chris Mills.  An artist I loved since the late 90s when I lived near Chicago. Another great crowd and show and we met some great friends at the show.  We also hosted Vandaveer again. This time through their booking agent. Dolly Varden was the first show I booked directly with the artist.  They are one of my favorite bands. It was difficult selling tickets but still an amazing show.  First show I had where someone flew in to attend.

Once I started booking the shows myself I would occasionally book a local opener to try and spread the word of the show and to selfishly see lineups that get me excited. We’ve also had some nice moments where bands that might not have much awareness of each other become great friends by the end of the night.  Jon Langford was so taken with Happy Chichester that he booked him for a show in England with him. Craig Finn and Bottle Rockets were both Undertow shows.  Bands with built in audiences like that are very easy to put on.  Undertow puts the tickets up for sale and they both sold out quickly.

Robbie Fulks was booked by working with his booking agent.  I’m still not sure his agent understood it was a house show but it all worked out very well and he seemed open to doing it again someday.

Colin G. - Are you a musician yourself? What motivated you to start doing this.

P.J. - I’m not a musician myself.  I’ve just always been a big music fan.  I’m very shy in normal social situations.  I would never go speak to a musician at a show, but by having shows in my house I’ve become friends with some of my musical heroes.  The fact that Jon Langford will comment on my daughter being goofy on facebook is something I’ll never get over. Also that there is video of Jon Langford and I singing Charlie Rich’s “Most Beautiful Girl in the World” into breadstick ‘microphones’ makes this whole crazy thing worthwhile.

Colin G. - What is the hardest part of hosting these shows?

P.J. - The hardest part is trying to get the word out on shows.  The fact that all money goes to the bands means that any traditional advertising would come out of my pocket.  I’ve had a couple shows where I thought there would be great crowds and struggled to get 15 people.

Colin G. - What is your favorite part?

Favorite part is usually the show itself.  I can stop trying to sell tickets at that point and just enjoy the music.  It helps to have a full crowd of fans of the bands playing but we’ve had great shows where it’s just a handful of my friends.

Colin G. - You have had some amazing acts so far, who is on your wish list?

P.J. - I’ve been very lucky with booking my favorite acts. If I had to rank bands, Mekons/Jon Langford would be my favorite.  Hosting Jon Langford was a dream come true and having him be a good guy who loves playing at our house has been a great joy.  He said he’ll keep coming as long as we will have him. Other all-time favorites for me that I’ve been shocked to have play would include Marah, Bottle Rockets, Two Cow Garage.  

Of my all-time bands left, I would love to host Slobberbone/Brent Best but I’m not sure if they will make it out to Ohio.  I’m flying to Texas to see their 25th Anniversary show in May. Bands I would love to host (That some people have heard of): Hayden, Lisa Germano, Bonnie Prince Billy, Joe Firstman, Kimya Dawson, Matthew Ryan, Gary Louris, on and on.  I have a list of about 100.

Colin G. - Do you have any plans to expand? How long do you see yourself doing this? 

I don’t necessarily have any plans to expand.  I’ll keep doing this as long as it’s fun. There are times when we have shows coming up and not selling any tickets that it becomes more stressful than fun.  I’ve had day dreams of opening a traditional club but I fear I might lose some of the love of the music if it became 100% a business for me. I still love going to Rumba or Ace of Cups as just a fan and enjoy a show.

Colin G. - Any random thoughts you would like to share before wrapping this up?

P.J. - Sure....

Things I’ve grown to love with the basement shows:

Posted set times. I’m too old to go to a show where ticket says 9:00 but opening act doesn’t go on until 10:30.  Columbus clubs have gotten better about posting set times and that has been very helpful with getting to see more shows.  Our shows normally start at 8PM (or a little later based on putting our daughter to bed) and usually over by 9:30 with one act or 10:30 with two acts.

Fully seated.  We can sell up to 55 tickets and have a seat for everyone.  

Crowd has been respectful to artists at every show.  Have never had to ask anyone to quiet down.

Shows are BYOB and much more social than a normal club show.  Most people feel somewhat uncomfortable going to someone’s house for a show.  We try to make it feel as much like a party at our house. Usually people mingle before and after shows.

Show history

2014 (Vandaveer)

2015 (Vandaveer, Chris Mills)

2016 (Vandaveer, Clem Snide, Dolly Varden, Justin Wells/Shane Sweeney/Todd Farrell, Syd Straw/Happy Chichester)

2017 (Craig Finn, Flat Five, Jon Langford/Happy Chichester, Bottle Rockets, Vandaveer/Lizard McGee, Richard Buckner, Adam Carroll, Jon Langford’s Four Lost Souls/Micah Schnabel

2018:  Robbie Fulks, Tommy Womack/Micah Schnabel, Marah/Colin Gawel, Amy Rigby, Dean Schlabowske

Your Marah Primer: Five Songs You Need to Know - by Joe Oestreich

Marah (Bielanko Brothers Acoustic) w/Colin Gawel Friday April 20th at Hogan House Productions.

Your Marah Primer: Five Songs You Need to Know  -  by Joe Oestreich

Of all the bands that got lumped into the imprecisely named ‘90s alternative country movement, Marah is my favorite. Sure, they were once signed to alt-country godfather Steve Earle’s E-Squared label, but Marah isn’t country. Marah is city. Less honky tonks and bass boats and more cheap Chinese joints, Vietnamese barbers, and muddy rivers that spit out Colt .45 bottles and bags of dead kittens.

The specific city in the case of Dave and Serge Bielanko—the brothers who started the band—is Philadelphia, but we’re not talking about the clichéd boxing-and-cheesesteaks Philly, about Balboa v. Creed and Pat’s v. Geno’s. Marah sings about the true Philadelphia, or at least a Philadelphia so dense with unexpected and raw detail that when listening to their records I assume it to be true. But even if it’s not, Marah’s melodies and lyrics are so freaking great, I’ll happily take the Bielanko Brothers’ word for it.

Should you go see Marah  play an acoustic house show in Columbus of Friday April 20th? Absolutely. (Click here for event info) Could I possibly write anything that would convince you that you should go? Maybe not. For nearly fifteen years writers far more accomplished than me have been trying to get people to queue up for Marah.  

Exhibit A: Nick Hornby writing for The New York Times .

Exhibit B: Stephen King (Click here for his favorite record of 2005)

So, yeah. You should go. But if you’re not yet ready to commit—if you’re still just Marah-curious—here are five songs you might consider when weighing your options.

1. “Christian Street” from Kids in Philly

Uploaded by Javialvarez71 on 2012-02-11.

Perhaps the most Phila-centric song on their most Phila-centric record. You get the sense that the Bielanko Bros. have a complicated relationship with their hometown. After all, they eventually moved away, relocating the band to Brooklyn for a time. Then again, judging by the street-level detail in this song, it’s clear that while they were living there, they were paying attention. And as Sister Sarah Joan says to Lady Bird in last year’s Oscar-nominated film, isn’t paying attention the same thing as love?

2. “What 2 Bring” from Float Away with the Friday Night Gods

Provided to YouTube by Entertainment One Distribution US What 2 Bring · Marah Float Away with the Friday Night Gods ℗ Artemis Released on: 2002-07-16 Auto-generated by YouTube.

For the follow-up to Kids in Philly, Marah moved about as far away from alt-country as they could, geographically (to London), artistically (the big shades and bubble gum on the album cover), and musically (the mega-chorus power pop of this song). This album pretty much tanked, but it made me love Marah for their disco ball-sized gonads.

3. “Pizzeria” from 20,000 Streets Under the Sky

I still see ya...

Serge Bielanko’s doo-wop influenced ode to a slice shop that turned Chinese. If you can’t taste the garlic powder after listening to this song, then you obviously have no soul (or maybe it’s just because the sound quality on this video ain’t so hot).

4. “The Closer” from If You Didn’t Laugh, You’d Cry

Live at the Fire Philadelphia, PA 3/18/2007

This is Dave Bielanko applying to Brooklyn that same eye for detail he once employed in cataloging Philadelphia. But now with added playfulness. Stick around to the end to find out how much it costs to have a Mississippi pickle applied to your Brooklyn buns.

5. “Angels of Destruction” from Angels of Destruction!

Marah close the show on their recent UK tour with the title track of their new album Angels Of Destruction, which is released worldwide today, January 8, 2008. They're launching the album in the USA with an appearance on Conan tomorrow (Jan 9), and will tour extensively in support of it throughout 2008, playing to their growing legion of diehard 'Marahstafarians' in the USA, Spain and the UK.

My computer is right now telling me that this is the thirteenth most-ever played song in my iTunes. More significantly, this song features perhaps the most honest and true lyric in rock history: I love you so much. Now let’s get something to eat.

Bonus! Exhibit C: Bruce Springsteen. In case the tunes above aren’t doing it for you, here’s an additional celebrity endorsement, straight from the rock and roll CEO.

Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band with guests Marah. Show 9 of 10 at Giants Stadium, Aug 30th 2003. (Screwdevil video/EV2 Audio)

Clearly, not going to the Marah’s Columbus show would amount to insubordination. I can’t speak for you, but I wouldn’t want that on my permanent record.

Joe Oestreich is the bass player for Watershed and the author of four books, including Hitless Wonder: A Life in Minor League Rock and Roll and Waiting to Derail: Ryan Adams and Whiskeytown, Alt-Country’s Brilliant Wreck (co-written with Thomas O’Keefe), which is forthcoming in June.

My KISS Record - by David Martin

To see full Unmasked draft results click here. Click here to see records selected by Colin Gawel and Scott Carr.

My KISS Record - by David Martin

Side One

King of the Mountain (Round No. 3)

Heaven's on Fire (2)

Betrayed (7)

When Your Walls Come Down (9)

Gimme More (8)

God Gave Rock and Roll To You II (5) 

Side Two

Lick It Up (1)

Under The Gun (4)

Trial by Fire (6) 

Bang Bang You (12)

Radar for Love (10)

You Love Me To Hate You (11) 

Comments

I was pleased "Lick It Up" was available with the sixth pick. Kiss lyrics are generally terrible, but "Don't want to wait till you know me better" is a great opening line. I should have taken "Tears Are Falling" with my next pick. My Gene songs are generic: "Trial by Fire" is a toe-tapper, but "Betrayed" is pretty forgettable.

I like the history of "God Gave Rock and Roll To You" more than I like the actual song. One of the flaws with my album is that "God Gave" is the only song from "Revenge" that I drafted. 

We were 15 years old when "Animalize" was released, so we may not have fully comprehended the line in "Under the Gun" about hitting the highway doing 69. I remember Joe Oestreich joking that he used to listen to the song and think, "Sixty-nine? That's not that fast."

"Bang Bang You" was the worst song on the worst set list Kiss ever took on tour. 

Kiss playing Bang Bang You Live

Tom Petty Fans Were Right to Hate The Replacements - Jeff Hassler

In honor of tonight's Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers sold-out Value City Arena show, Pencilstorm re-presents this Jeff Hassler offering from our archives.......  

The reunited and better-sounding Replacements are coming to Columbus this week and needless to say Colin, Greg and Ricki C. are just gushing about their greatness everyday at the Pencilstorm office. Brian Phillips is the worst of the bunch and since we co-manage a fantasy baseball  team together there is NO escaping his CD1025 elitism. I like The Replacements OK, but one of the best bands ever? please... I thought "Don't Tell a Soul" had some good stuff on it. And the video for "When It Began" was pretty cool with the claymation and Tommy and Paul playing an accordion and banjo. Nice to see them maturing musically and not just falling back into a safe "Hootenany." But seriously? Those early records sound I like I recorded them on a Sony walkman. Totally amateur. Just saying!

I accept the fact the 'Mats have long roots around the 614. Hell, even Ricki himself got offerred a chance to roadie for them. People love to idolize how they showed up, got messed up, couldn't sober up and then the show was disaster. But since it's the holy Replacements, all is forgiven. Colin always makes fun of me for liking Bon Jovi but the bottom line is that bands like The Replacements and - I hate to say it - Watershed just never really had any mainstream success. Is it sour grapes or jealousy or the same thing? (No offense, CG, still love ya.)

Anyway, one of the more popular "old wives" tales is how the Replacements got their big break by opening for Tom Petty on his wildly successful Full Moon Fever tour but were too cool to even bother trying to win over Petty's fans, drawing boo's and catcalls until the 'Mats eventually quit the tour with their tails between their legs. To hang around Pencilstorm, you would think The Replacements were like the next ELO, and Petty's fans were just too stupid to appreciate them. That is FALSE.

Let me tell you, I was at the Petty / Mats show at Pine Knob in Michigan and the Mats deserved the cool reception they received. First of all, they came on ten minutes late and when they finally started playing the sound was really rough. To quote Slim, "not half bad, but ain't exactly good." And apparently they were too cool to hire a keyboard player to help out, so the songs from Don't Tell a Soul sounded really different from the record. I mean, a record company spends all that money printing and promoting your record and then when they finally get you in front a big crowd the songs sound different? That's just bad business. No wonder The Replacements always had trouble moving product.

Even worse, they made NO attempt to win over the Petty fans who were paying attention, if not enthusiastic. Hell, it was so loud you had to notice. There were no sing-along sections and I'm pretty sure they didn't even say "Hello Cleveland" or anything funny like that. I thought these guys were supposed to be funny. Sure, there weren't many people in their seats yet and I only counted around ten standing and clapping, but they could have tried a LITTLE harder. There were THOUSANDS hitting beach balls on the lawn seats. Way bigger than playing Staches. Just saying!

Anyway, the set mercifully ended and my future and now ex-wife Kim and I headed backstage for a meet & greet with Tom Petty himself. SCORE! A fraternity buddy of mine had an internship with Petty's record company and the fact that he was also Kim's ex-boyfriend didn't hurt either. Anyway, we are hanging around the green room with about thirty other people and in walks Tom Petty himself! Wearing a top hat and smelling a little…you know.. green…AND acting TOTALLY professional: "Hey folks, thanks for coming." Just as Kim and I were set to have him sign our cassette of Full Moon Fever, Replacements bassist Tommy Stinson lurches into the room, grabs our cassette out of Kim's hands and scrawls "TOM PETTY IS MY DAD" right across the cover. RUINED.

He pulls the beer out of my hand and chugs the WHOLE THING. Let me tell you, he didn't need any more alcohol. Listen, I'm not a teetotaler by a long shot. Just the previous spring break me and my frat brothers from Sigma Ki went to Panama City, Florida and let's just say Club La Vela was NEVER the same. Kim wasn't pleased. (Long story!) And big deal if Petty smokes some weed before a show. No cops backstage that I saw anyway.

But Stinson, he was SO drunk he kind of fell into Kim, put his head on her shoulder and started talking about how lonely he had been since his brother had been kicked out of the band. Pathetic, really. Kim, back before our divorce and the lawyers and hooking up with Russ, used to be very nice. She used to always take care of people. She used to be so kind-hearted. Writing this story now, I wonder why she changed. Anyway, she helped him up and asked, "Tell me Tommy, why did they kick your brother out of Tom Petty?" 

"Because he wouldn't play… Free Falling……" He started to tear up and asked Kim, "Could you help me back to find the tour bus, I need to take my allergy medicine or my eyes will get all red. I should take a shower too. Please?"

I gently grabbed Kim by the shoulder and said, "Kim, I think he has had too much to drink and he isn't even in Tom Petty, that's Tommy Stinson from the Replacements."

She pushed my arm away and said, "DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE, JEFF"

I protested, "I'm not trying to start a fight. I just don't think its a great idea you going back to the tour bus. Besides Tom Petty is about to start."

"Why are you having a cow? Tony always said you were like this but I never believed him. Now, I am starting to think I was wrong to leave him. Especially now that he is a starting a successful career in the music business and you are STILL working at Subway."

"But Kim, I was just....."

"But.. But.. But.. Jeff, I am going to help Tommy back to his bus for some pills and a shower and then I will meet you back at our seats. Be a gentleman and grab me a large Bud light OK? I'll see you in thirty minutes."

"Ok, but I still don't....."

It was too late. Tommy and Kim walked out of the back of the green room. I felt really bad because I was kind of a dick. Here is Kim, just being the kind soul and me, getting all jealous. I knew I had to chill out or I was going to mess this thing up. I started humming "If You Love Somebody, Set them Free" by Sting as I headed off to the concession stand. I got back to our seats by the third song, "Listen to Her Heart." I just knew this would be the song Kim would return to. She would "Listen to Her Heart" and re-appear. 

She didn't. BUT the next song was "Free Fallin'" and I was sure she wouldn't miss that one. It was her ALL TIME FAVORITE TOM PETTY song. She loved the line about Elvis and horses. She used to always sing that in the car when we would drive to G.D. Ritzy's between class. She wasn't a bad singer, really.

But she didn't come back. I was starting to get really worried by the time I finished off hers and mine 38 oz draft beers when suddenly I didn't feel very good. I tried to walk around by the tour buses out back to get some air. I started yelling, "KIM! KIM! It's Jeff! Where are you? Kim!"

Around that time a couple of big guys wearing shirts that said "Security" grabbed me and pushed me over the top of a chain-link fence and I landed rough on the gravel of the main parking lot. I don't know how long I laid there but when I finally collected my wits and rubbed the gravel out of my hair, the parking lot was empty except for maybe 25 cars where there had once been thousands.

Kim was standing by my blue Toyota Celica disheveled and noticeably upset. 

"JEFF! It's almost three fucking thirty in the morning! Where have you been? The concert ended at eleven and I have been waiting here since 2:50. What the fuck have YOU been doing?"

"I'm sorry, it's just that I got us both beers and when you didn't come back I must have drank them both and I don't really remember what happened after "Even the Losers"  Wait, you just got back to the car at 2:50? Where did you get those red boots?"

"At this point, after the way you have treated me, I don't feel like talking but if you must know, Tommy Stinson from Tom Petty gave them to me."

"But why did you get back so late? I don't under...."

Kim cut me off, "Don"t be an asshole Jeff" Just drive me home, I have aerobics class tomorrow at 9 am at Larkins. If we leave right now we can make it. You drive since I need to sleep."

"Okay."

To read previous Jeff Hassler stories please click here 

Anyway,  this is Jeff again, TOTALLY not pro… Watch this show opening for TOM PETTY with a striptease. Kim thought Tommy looked cute but I just didn't see the point. 

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