Five Life-Changing Concerts - by Jeremy Porter

Spotify Playlist for this article! Listen while you read!

Alice Cooper - Thunder Bay Drive-In, Alpena, MI, July 5, 1981 - My first concert, held at the same drive-in where I saw Star Wars a few years earlier and I got busted for being smuggled through the gate in a car trunk a year or two later. These were the dark, cocaine years for Alice. We were way into the 1980 Flush the Fashion record, but not as much into Special Forces, which he was supporting that summer. I remember the snake, the guillotine, the volume, and the smell of weed. I also remember The Rockets - a popular Detroit band at the time that opened. It was a cool “first” and belongs on this list for that reason alone, plus it’s Alice, but other than that it wasn’t particularly noteworthy.  

Dead Kennedys - Riverside Ballroom, Green Bay, WI, Nov 2, 1985 - This was my first punk show. I was pretty green, hanging with guys mostly 3-5 years older than me, who somehow agreed to meet my parents and then let me tag along for the four hour drive from Marquette, Michigan to Green Bay, Wisconsin. I got caught up in the moment and dove into the massive sea of slam dancing during the opening set by The Crusties. Some giant dude with a spiked mohawk head-butted me and I went down hard, got picked up, and found my way back to my friends. I shook it off and started to rebound, but then the walls started to close in, I started seeing spots, and thought I might puke. I made it to the bathroom where a couple dudes commented about how fucked up I was (I wasn’t) as I realized I didn’t actually have to puke. I walked out of the bathroom, made eye-contact with a couple of my friends across the floor, and hit the ground. They ran over, picked me up and sat me down, also assuming I was wasted, and the night went on. Eventually I was able to collect myself. I had a splitting headache, like migraine-level, but I managed to enjoy direct support The Magnolias (a great band to this day from Minneapolis), and the DK’s. They were great - and played pretty much everything we wanted to hear. I’d never seen so many wonderful freaks in one place, and I felt like I got away with something being there, but I learned a valuable lesson in the pit at that show that I never forgot.  

After the show, my pal Tommy was walking around with only one shoe, the other lost to the same pit that did me in, and Carl couldn’t find his keys. To make matters worse, the dome light of his red `82 Olds Omega was left on, shining down like a beacon from Heaven through the smoky haze above a precarious, still-smoldering, translucent-blue plastic water bong sitting nicely on the console between the two front seats. Somehow we avoided getting arrested and got back on the road. Soon after that, the bong would tip over and spill really, really nasty bong-water on the floor behind the driver’s seat, creating a stench that not only made the already miserable drive back to Marquette the next morning unbearable, but stayed with that car for the remainder of its life.

13 years later I was back in Green Bay, on tour with my own band, and we took in a Face To Face show on a night off. I started talking to a guy working the show and told him the head-butt story. Turns out he was one of the dudes in the bathroom.  He even remembered what I was wearing. Crazy.

Ramones - Harpo’s - Detroit, MI, September 24, 1988 - Harpo’s is a big theater in a bad neighborhood in Detroit that caters primarily to metal. The Ramones were touring in support of their Ramonesmania collection and it would be their last tour with Dee Dee. The Dickies opened, who I knew from their Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath covers, and they were great.  Their singer Leonard Graves Phillips had an arm’s length penis puppet that was hilarious. The Ramones came out and basically destroyed the room. It was one after another after another great song, played with precision and purpose, with no breaks, no breaths. It was a 90-minute onslaught of rock and roll perfection. They were all business and masters of their craft. We got to meet Joey and Johnny afterward. It was the best concert and they were the best live band I’ve ever seen.

Social Distortion - Blondie’s, Detroit MI, October 2, 1988 - (One week after the Ramones show.) SD wasn’t really on my radar, it was a Sunday night, and I had to work early on Monday. It was unseasonably cold too  - with that dry, southeastern Michigan wind that just cuts right through you. And Blondie’s wasn’t exactly an easy hang. It was a dump in a nasty neighborhood. You were just as likely to get your head kicked in or mugged in the parking lot as you were seeing a good show. I had a list of excuses a mile long, but my roommate and one of our friends talked me into it and I’m glad they did. Social Distortion came on and I was sold. Great songs with hooks, some even about girls, but also a dark side, an angst that was distinctly punk. And they had guitar solos. Not the kind of beautiful, noisy chaos that Bob Mould or Greg Ghin created, but more thought out, arranged solos that stuck with you. There was a dude with a tattooed necklace of skulls that grabbed the microphone from Mike Ness at least a couple times during their set to angrily berate the 25 or so people there that they weren’t even punk enough to be there, and as one of the least-punk people there, I was scared for my life. And then Mike Ness did one of the most punk things he could have - he announced they were about to play a Johnny Cash song, and if that wasn’t punk enough, you can just get the fuck out. In 1988, Johnny Cash was not cool. For me, at least, that changed at that moment. I’d go on to see SD another dozen or so times, some crazier than others, and they are the reason I now listen to everything that branched out from hearing “Walk the Line” that night - Waylon, Patsy, Hag, Gram, Willie, Dwight, on and on. After the show we partied with the band for a while. It was a life-changing night.  

The Replacements - Michigan Theater, Ann Arbor, MI, April 6, 1986 - It was still winter and freezing in Marquette as we piled into Jim’s blue 1973 Camaro for the eight-hour drive to Ann Arbor.  The frame was rusted out and broken so they put me in the back, driver’s side, to minimize the weight resting on the fracture. Every bump in the road was a hard jolt to my rib cage. We left early - like 4am early - and arrived in Ann Arbor, where spring had sprung, and started partying.  At one point we were in the basement of the Nectarine Ballroom, formerly known as the Second Chance, where everyone from Cheap Trick to the Ramones (and The Replacements a year earlier) cut their teeth, drinking Chambord from the bottle and partying with someone who worked there. At another point we were “bugging” Bob Stinson for an autograph in Schoolkids Records, next to the venue, which is the perfect place to hang if you don’t want to be bothered by fans. When the band came on without Bob I was crushed.  All that effort and that painful drive and we weren’t even going to get the full band, but after a couple covers with stand-in guitarists, Bob came out and they were amazing. It was so loud, and they were at their peak - still wasted, but not to the point of a debacle. If you know about The Replacements, this was one of the “good” shows. I remember feeling like I was so lucky to be there. It was everything rock and roll was supposed to be. It was not lost on me that it was an important night. This is top-two, with The Ramones show. It was later chronicled in Creem Magazine.  


Three Honorable Mentions:

Mudhoney - The Beat, Ann Arbor, MI, October 27, 1988 - Later known as Club Heidelberg and currently known as The Club Above.  My buddy had heard good things about Mudhoney and said we had to go. I didn’t know them going in, but I sure did after. A local. mediocre, metal band opened. At one point during their set, Mudhoney said they weren’t going to play anymore until they got paid, and that the guy with the mustache was ripping them off (promoter Martin?, RIP I think). I was one of about 15 people there, and I started the chant “Kill the guy with the mustache! Kill the guy with the mustache!” The band soon joined in too, but it was all in good, drunken fun. They played an incredible, loud, aggresive set, and it was pretty clear at that moment that something new and special was coming from Seattle on the musical horizon.  

Bleached - Polish National Alliance Hall (Lounge), Hamtramck, MI, April 26, 2103 To set the scene, my wife, much cooler than I, was in main hall watching Easy Action. Front-man John Brannon (ex-Laughing Hyenas and Negative Approach) is as angry a dude (on stage, not in person) as you’ll find, screaming like a banshee and spitting like a viper, looking like the last thing you’d want to see in a dark alley. They are fast and loud, bombastic and aggressive. I get it, it’s beautiful in it’s own way, but I usually like my rock and roll with a little sweet sauce, some nice hooks and melodies, so after a couple songs I meandered into the adjacent lounge where a band from Los Angeles was playing on the floor to an engaged audience of about 30. Now THIS was my thing - great hooks, poppy-surfy guitars, and three girls and a dude who were swinging their hair, smiling, and having a fun time. It was a lucky accident that I saw them and I’m a fan for life. I’m still scared of John Brannon.  

Tom Waits - Orpheum Theater, Memphis, TN, August 4, 2006 I’ve had the good fortune of seeing Tom Waits seven times, including a special night at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, and a secret, last-minute show at the House of Blues in Cleveland that started at 2:30 am and ended at nearly 5am. He’s something else, for sure. The Memphis show sticks out because it was the first time I saw him, we had great seats, and I was just astounded at how goddamn good he was. What a master musician, and the music he makes is the the most pure, primitive, and real that there is. Not sure there will be another chance, but everyone should go if they can.     

Jeremy Porter lives near Detroit and fronts the rock and roll band Jeremy Porter And The Tucos - www.thetucos.com

Follow them on Facebook to read his road blog about their adventures on the dive-bar circuit -
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Twitter: @jeremyportermi | Instagram: @onetogive & @jeremyportermusic | www.rockandrollrestrooms.com

Damn, That Was Stupid / Nine Amazing Shows I Missed - by JCE

I recently had plans to go see Watershed play the Slim’s 30th Anniversary show in Raleigh, NC. The show was a little over four hours from my home in Virginia, so my wife booked us a hotel just three blocks from Slim’s and we had a plan. I have been contributing here on Pencilstorm for over two years now, so I was looking forward to meeting the guys behind it, and finally seeing a band I have followed since 1994. Unfortunately, a family emergency arose and I had to cancel. Nothing I can do about that. But here are nine shows I could (and should) have gone to that I still kick myself about. In chronological order:

U2 – The Bayou, Georgetown, Washington, D.C.

U2 released the album “Boy” in 1980. I was still in high school but I was regularly seeing shows at Georgetown clubs. All ages shows weren’t really a thing back then, but it was easy getting into places. U2 came to the very small Bayou. It was their second show ever in the United States! I could have gone, but I had not heard the record and I wasn’t sure if I would like them. Only a few weeks later I had “I Will Follow” blasting several times a day. Damn, that was stupid.

The Clash – William & Mary Hall, Williamsburg, VA.

In late 1982, The Clash played at the College of William and Mary. I was a couple of hours away at the University of Virginia. Somehow, I didn’t know about the show until the last minute, so me and three friends decided to jump in a car and drive down there. We had no tickets but we were pretty sure we could get some. We headed down Route 29 South. The driver (not me) missed the exit onto Route 64 without realizing it and we just kept driving, almost to Lynchburg. At that point, we were way out of the way, time was running out and we had no tickets, so we just decided to drive back to school and drink a bunch of beer. It was the “Combat Rock” tour, but still… I never saw The Clash. It was my future wife’s very first concert (we had not yet met). She was 16 years old. Damn, that was stupid. Extra stupid.

The Lords of the New Church - The Bayou, Georgetown, Washington, D.C.

I loved the Dead Boys, so when Stiv Bator teamed up with Brian James from The Damned to form the Lords of the New Church, I was all in. I bought the record and loved it. I was away at college in Charlottesville when I saw an ad for upcoming shows at the Bayou (clipping attached to ticket below). I bought a ticket ($5, wow that’s cheap!) and was so psyched for this show. About two days before the show I found myself faced with a massive architecture project due and I had done next to nothing. The project was due the morning after the show. All-nighters followed and I bailed. Damn, that was stupid. I did eventually get to see both the Dead Boys and the Lords of the New Church, so this one is a little less painful. By the way, I never became an architect.

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Oasis – WUST Music Hall, Washington, D.C.

My wife and I got three tickets to see an Oasis show at WUST Music Hall. WUST was a radio station before it became a music venue, and then later it became the new 9:30 Club that is still there today. The radio broadcast tower still stands on the roof of the club. Anyway, our friend who had dibs on the third ticket got held up at work. We waited for him. And waited. Finally, we hit the road for the hour and a half drive and got to the club around 9:40. We prayed that they would start late, but as we pulled up, the club was emptying out. Show over. Damn, that was stupid.

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Marvelous 3 / Eve 6 – Trax Nightclub, Charlottesville, VA

In the late 90’s, there was a slew of “alternative rock” coming from everywhere. My wife and I went to three of the huge WHFS music festivals at RFK stadium in D.C. DC101 was the radio station of choice. Two of my favorite bands from that particular era were the Marvelous 3 - which was led by musical genius Butch Walker - and Eve 6. They played together one night at Trax in Charlottesville, a mere 45 minutes from my house. I still don’t remember why I didn’t get off my ass and go. Damn, that was stupid.

Watershed – The Pit, Kill Devil Hills, NC

My wife and I used to go to the beach on the Outer Banks of North Carolina two or even three times a year. On one particular trip, we had reached the end of our week-long stay. We packed the car and headed out for the five hour trip home. On the radio comes “Small Doses” by Watershed. The DJ says, “Great band, go see them tonight at The Pit,” (in Kill Devil Hills, NC---the Outer Banks!). I wasn’t even out to the highway yet. I was in town for God sakes. We had dogs to pick up from the kennel, and other stuff to get back to, but we could have made it work. I kept driving. Damn, that was stupid. (editor’s note: Not to make John feel worse, but I roadied that gig, and it was a GREAT show. That WAS stupid. - Ricki C.)

The Damned / The Briefs – Black Cat, Washington, D.C.

I saw The Damned back around the era of The Black Album, but I love The Damned, and I haven’t seen them for a long time. So when Dave Vanian and Captain Sensible got together recently and went on tour, I should have made an effort. I saw they were coming to the Black Cat, and the openers were The Briefs, who make great punk songs, short and fast like the Ramones. After being lazy, whining that it was a Sunday night and not going, I looked up the set list. It was amazing. I should have gone. Damn, that was stupid.

The Biters / Wyldlife / Frankie and the Studs – Voltage Lounge, Philadelphia, PA

The Biters have been pretty much my favorite overall band for about four years. My favorite band changes almost daily, but The Biters keep coming to the forefront. After The Biters, next might be Wyldlife. So when they play together, well you can’t miss that. I mentioned the show to my wife and daughter. It was three and half hours away, and the Philly hotels are damn expensive, but look at this double bill in a small club. YOU. HAVE. TO. PULL. THE. TRIGGER. YOU HAVE TO. I did not. Now The Biters have called it quits. I did see them once. I still haven’t seen Wyldlife. Damn, that was stupid. Really F*cking stupid.

Supersuckers / Upper Crust – The Broadberry, Richmond, VA

I love both of these bands. The Supersuckers are just great ragged punk ‘n’ roll with a little country thrown in. The Upper Crust are from Boston. They play hilarious but excellent rock with a theme and great costumes. I’ve heard it called costume rock, but it’s not goofy at all, it just rocks. One of the members of Upper Crust recently hurt himself and they are on indefinite hiatus. I suspect I may never get to see them play live. This show was in Richmond, an hour and a half away. I was getting up early the next morning to leave for a family vacation. I didn’t want to be tired for the long drive the next day. I did not go. Damn, that was stupid.

Maybe you also have made some bad decisions that haunt you.….feel free to share in the comment section below.

Click here for a Spotify playlist for this story.

Ricki C. and JCE (John, to his friends & family) first bonded over their shared mutual love of Boston's Finest Sons - The Neighborhoods - and everything extended out from that rock & roll ripple.  JCE lives in Culpeper, Virginia with his wife & daughter, and he & Ricki are STILL waiting for the long-rumored NEW Neighborhoods record to be released. Maybe in 2019.

Owen Finally Checks The Hives Off His List - by Colin Gawel

One byproduct of my wife & I both running small businesses is that our son Owen never spent much time in day-care or after-school programs. We had combined flexibility to cover his schedule most of the time. While this is surely a blessing, on occasion it could feel like a curse (i.e. the morning after a gig). Parenting a young child is hard work and requires mental toughness along with physical energy to get through the day.

One of the preferred tools in my parenting toolbox was rock n roll. Starting at a very young age,  whether with bootleg KISS VHS tapes playing on the TV or music blasting while we threw baseballs in the yard, music was ALWAYS playing. I capitalized the word always because I’m serious. Ask Owen, I cannot do anything without music playing in the background. Everything goes on pause until the tunes start back up.

The upshot of all this is that Owen became a very knowledgeable rock n roll fan at a very young age. In pre-school, when he wasn’t singing along and the teacher asked him why, he said he didn’t like the song. She asked, “What songs do you like?” He answered, “I like Cheap Trick songs.” Once I told him if he wanted to be a real Aerosmith fan he should be able to name what song was on which album and I started quizzing him. Eventually, I couldn’t stump him: “Critical Mass?” Owen’s answer, Draw the Line.

Owen is just finishing his freshman year of high school so his hardcore rock n roll days are behind him for the time being: Hip Hop/Rap, or what have you, are what the kids are into these days. Sure, some of the songs make me throw up in my mouth a little. Okay, maybe most of the songs have that effect but I understand. I’m pretty sure my parents weren’t too jazzed about the song “Lick It Up” or when I needed a ride at 4 am to wait in line for Iron Maiden tickets. Parents aren’t supposed to like what the kids are listening to. That ruins all the fun.

However, along the way Owen and I managed to catch a bunch of great rock n roll shows:

Cheap Trick x 6

KISS x 3

Aerosmith X 2

Bruce Springsteen X 3

The Who

The Rolling Stones

Foo Fighters

AC/DC

That pretty much covers every band Owen was ever obsessed with for any period of time except for…..The Hives. Unless The Ramones come back from the grave, this is the last big-time band Owen really wants to see. It’s the end of an era.

So, finally…..The Hives are coming to Columbus, Ohio for the Sonic Arts Festival and we are planning on being there. When I asked if he wanted to go, he gave an enthusiastic, “Yeah, I guess that sounds okay.” Which is actually a ringing endorsement coming from a teenager. And to be honest, I dread going to this stupid festival with my computer-activated wristband and $25 parking fee, but I digress. I am truly excited to watch The Hives, one of the greatest rock n roll bands of all time, even if just for a 40 minute set from the bleachers. And sharing it with Owen makes it even better.

Colin Gawel plays rock n roll both solo and in the band Watershed. He wrote this at Colin’s Coffee in Upper Arlington, Ohio. To learn more click Colin tab at the top of the screen.

Come On! - 00:00:00 Main Offender - 00:01:42 Walk Idiot Walk - 00:03:50 My Time Is Coming - 00:07:50 Hate To Say I Told You So - 00:10:21 Wait A Minute - 00:14:36 Go Right Ahead - 00:17:48 Tick Tick Boom - 00:20:30








In Memoriam: John Ballor, 1956-2019 - by Ricki C.

I have a heroically garbled cassette tape from 1978 of Romantic Noise, Willie Phoenix's best band EVER, playing a song called "I Feel New."  John Ballor, the lead guitarist of Romantic Noise, sings lead on the tune and it is, quite simply, one of the most gorgeous, heartfelt tunes I have ever heard in my rock & roll life.

The quote above was the first paragraph of The Ballad of Willie Phoenix part one / Romantic Noise and The Buttons, 1978-1980 in 2013, from my old blog, Growing Old With Rock & Roll. John only sang lead on about three tunes in Romantic Noise: the aforementioned “I Feel New,” another great power-pop tune called “Holly” and a raver called (I think) “Politician, Politician” that only got played once when I saw the band. (Songs came & went pretty quickly in those days, Willie was CRANKIN’ out the tunes, most of them good, many of them great.)

Colin wrote me yesterday and said that he read John had passed away. From what I can piece together with my rudimentary computer skills, John died peacefully in hospice care in Ann Arbor, MI, from complications of MS and cancer.

I’m not really gonna get into all that, though. I’m gonna remember John to the stage right of Willie, spinnin’ out great concise lead guitar lines & solos (Willie didn’t start playin’ lead guitar until The Shadowlords in 1982) and adding backing vocals along with bass player extraordinaire Greg Glasgow in Romantic Noise and The Buttons. You can check out all the stuff I said about those bands by following that link above if you like, but let me just say this: Willie Phoenix has been a genius musician since the first week we met in 1978, but those two bands – Romantic Noise and The Buttons – with John & Greg and successive drummers Dee Hunt and Jerry Hanahan were Willie’s best bands EVER, largely on the strength of the musicians involved in those bands. (On the other hand, Willie was writing SUCH great songs in that halcyon late-70’s era it’s possible that the quality of the tunes improved the musicianship of the band.)

John went on to play with a lot of other bands after The Buttons broke up in 1980: The Amenders, Civil Waif, The Waifs, etc. I think one of them even got signed to Arista in the 1990’s, but I’m not sure which one. I am sure of this, though, my favorite post-Buttons story about John involved that band. In the early ‘90’s Willie was playing with The True Soul Rockers; Kozmos on bass, Mike Parks on lead guitar and the rock-solid Jim Johnson on drums. One weekend the TSR was playing at Chollie’s, a little dive bar in the Graceland shopping center that was formerly a Long John Silvers. (You could still smell the fried fish in that place.)

It was summertime & hot and Mike Parks & I were hangin’ around outside during one of the set-breaks when a big-ass white limousine pulled into the parking lot and stopped in front of Chollie’s. Mike & I just looked at each other and Mike said, “Well, this guy’s gotta be lost.” The back door of the limo opened and out stepped John and his wife & Civil Waif band-mate Laura. (John just MIGHT have been wearing a white suit to match the limo, but my memory’s a little hazy on that.)

“Hey guys,” John smiled brightly, shaking Mike’s & my hands, “how’ve you been?” I laughed, fixed John with a stare and said, “John, you hired a fucking LIMO to make an entrance at CHOLLIE’S? Arista must be paying you a LOT of money.”

John just switched on that little-boy grin of his at my calling him out, and we went in and caught the last set. I think that might have been the last time I ever saw John, and I treasure that memory to this day.

Check out the picture below, and make no mistake: John Ballor was the PRETTIEST lead guitarist I ever changed a string for. – Ricki C. / May 1st, 2019.

ROMANTIC NOISE / 1978

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