Local H, Jack Douglas and The Rock & Roll Professionals

Local H is performing at The Basement in Columbus, OH Thursday, December 7th. Click here for more info. 

Our pal Lou Brutus was hosting an event at XM Radio called Cheap Trick Live at Budokan Revisited and he invited myself and Joe Oestreich to attend the exclusive event if we found ourselves in the Washington, DC area on Sunday, June 13th (2004!). We happened to be recording some new tunes in Saline, Michigan but by Watershed terms, that qualified as “in the area” so we made the road trip east for the show anyway. 

It was a no-brainer. Cheap Trick performed live in front of 60 people with Jack Douglas himself mixing the gig for the ultimate Budokan experience. We would have driven from Seattle to attend. 

Anyway, at one point during the performance, the band took a break. it was being recorded so it was more of TV show feel than a live show, and Joe & I wandered into the XM commissary to see if we could find some beers or something a little more rock n roll to wet our whistles after the long drive. No luck. Like I said, it had a backstage TV show kind of vibe so we settled for a couple cups of coffee in white styrofoam cups. It was just us in the room and then who walks in but Jack Douglas himself. There was nobody else in the room. He comes up next to us to grab a cup of coffee and Joe & I looked at him with those star-struck eyes Ohio guys get when bumping into a big star.

You could see the disappointment on his face when he realized there was no escape and these two nerdy superfans were going to demand some of his attention. I mean, this is Jack Douglas. The man who signed and produced Cheap Trick, produced all the major Aerosmith records and was, um, not only John Lennon’s producer but a close personal friend as well. 

He was bracing for a question that he had already answered one million times when in a moment of brilliance, Joe Oestreich broke the awkward silence and said, “Jack, right? Hey, man we really dug that Local H album you produced. That’s a great record.”

Jack paused for a moment and then a big smile came across his face, “Thanks. I love that record too, did you stick it out to the end?” (exact quote)

The record was Here Comes the Zoo and we had in fact, “stuck it out to the end” many times. The whole album was a masterpiece but the final song, “What Would You Have Me Do?” channeled “Need Your Love” by Cheap Trick while reprising many of the hooks previously heard on the record. Jack was rightfully proud of this production and we could tell he was excited to talk about Local H with fellow fans instead of more Beatles or Aerosmith questions. He couldn’t have been friendlier. The break was over so he went back to mixing Cheap Trick and we went back to our folding chairs to watch. Wow. We just met Jack Douglas and didn’t humiliate ourselves. Long odds indeed but Joe Oestreich had pulled an ace out of his sleeve to save the day. 

Rock & Roll Professionals

Like my band Watershed, I think it is fair to assume Local H has had more than their fair share of scrapes with the so-called “music industry.” Both bands started around the same time, loved Cheap Trick, bounced around on numerous labels, and somehow both bands are still active to this day. However the similarities between the groups end there, as Local H had an actual hit single and numerous critically-acclaimed records. Spoiler alert: The book written about Watershed is literally titled Hitless Wonder. So we know how that story ends. Local H might have been bound for the floor but Watershed never got off the floor.

I’m not sure which result is better in the long run. Obviously I would have loved to taste the success that Local H had, but then again, when you got nothing, you got nothing to lose. And that’s not a bad way to go either. I mean, “Here Comes The Zoo” should have been a smash. And it was produced by Jack Frigging Douglas. That sucks.

We used a song from that record, “Rock & Roll Professionals,” as our pre-show intro music for years & years after its release in 2004. I mean, I don’t care for The Man, but Scott Lucas really hates The Man. And I love him for it. And I loved walking on stage hearing Scott’s lyrics, “Rocking for lawyers, baby, rockin’ for real estate.” It just put me in the mood to tune out all that industry happy-crappy. Especially if we knew some hot-shot manager or agent was in the audience to check out the band. After the show in the green room he would tell us how great our new record sounds when he plays it on his yacht, or how it’s a shame we never made it bigger. Perhaps a different haircut would help? He didn’t understand, we stopped worrying about that stuff years ago. If we hadn’t, we would have quit. Or gotten bitter. We didn't do either. We found the whole situation hilarious. We still do. And I love rock n roll now more than ever. But a rock & roll professional I will never be. Thank God. Barf. Thank you Local H.

And don’t forget “All The Kids Are Right.” The rock and roll professionals can’t fool the kids with hype. It’s a stone cold classic tune.