This blog entry will be Pencil Storm’s first endeavor into “e-mail string journalism.” It started with an e-mail from Ricki C. expressing his - let’s say - “disapproval” of Rod Stewart’s performance on the Stephen Colbert show last Friday. The post went out to Colin Gawel & Jeremy Porter of the P-storm Editorial Board, frequent contributor JCE down in Viginia, and Ricki’s rock & roll buddy Kyle, and we decided to make the resulting e-mail string itself the story, not just the inspiration for a blog. This is what grown men do with their Saturday’s when their heroes Go Off The Rock & Roll Rails.
From: Ricki C. <> / Date: 11/13/21 10:35 AM (GMT-05:00)
To: Colin Gawel <>, Jeremy Porter <>, JCE <>, Kyle <>
Subject: Rod Stewart; the horror, the horror
Gentlemen - Oh my God, I DVR'd Colbert last night because I caught that Rod Stewart was on, and I had no idea what he was up to these days, and THIS is just horrifying.
I only made it through the first verse, didn't get to the chorus, but I had to kinda share the pain around to my best rock & roll friends, just so I didn't have to pluck my own eyeballs out, or stick chopsticks in my ears to deafen myself.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ROD THE MOD???!!!???
The easy-listening/smooth ballads phase was one thing, he kinda pulled that off, it was a smart marketing move for an aging baby Boomer ex-rocker, but this is just terrifying.
The clothes, the little 21st century Robert Palmer girls in white dresses "backing band," THE SONG ITSELF (and this is THE SINGLE!)........oh my fucking God.
Sorry, gentlemen, I had to spread the misery around so I didn't have to go it alone........
Ricki C.
ps. I might have a coupla drinks tonight and try to finish the video. (And I DON'T DRINK!)
Kyle <> / To: Ricki C. <>, Colin Gawel <>, Jeremy Porter <>, JCE/ Sat, Nov 13 at 12:04 PM
Subject: Rod Stewart; the horror, the horror
I've heard the song. Bland adult contemporary nonsense! Same thing Rod has been doing the last forty years. Maybe longer.
Colin Gawel <> / To: Ricki C. Cc: Jeremy Porter, JCE, Kyle / Sat, Nov 13 at 12:18 PM
Subject: Rod Stewart; the horror, the horror
That is already a Pencilstorm post. Put it up!!!
Colin Gawel <> / To: Ricki C. Cc: Jeremy Porter, JCE, Kyle / Sat, Nov 13 at 12:26 PM
Subject: Rod Stewart; the horror, the horror
Wow. That really blows. Is he aiming for country? Who is this supposed to appeal to? Looks expensive too. Maybe he will cover Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer. Cheap Trick is still on to open his U.S. Tour next year. Rod better whip up something better than this or Robin Zander and company are going to hand him his famous ass on a nightly basis.
JCE <> / To: Ricki C. Cc: Jeremy Porter, Colin Gawel, Kyle / Saturday, November 13, 2021, 07:41:01 PM EST
Subject: Rod Stewart; the horror, the horror
Good Lord, that is just awful. Everything about it is just not good. Those girls in white make the whole thing seem creepy, and someone should have stopped him from wearing those shoes. And the song itself is more bizarre than the rest of it. Train wreck.
And if I understood Colin correctly— Cheap Trick is going to open for that??? Wow, just wow.
Ricki C. To: Colin Gawel <>, Jeremy Porter <>, JCE <>, Kyle <> / Saturday, November 13, 2021, 10:39:59 PM EST
Subject: Rod Stewart; the horror, the horror
Gentlemen - Jesus, I finally got up the guts to watch the entire song and the whole fucking thing is a travesty. Right from the start Rod RE-introduces the song that Colbert just introduced and then the acoustic guitarist takes what seems like forever TO START THE FRICKING SONG. Rod's outfit is a mess; the shoes are ridiculous, the pants belong on a K-Pop singer/dancer 55 years Rod's junior, and I realize the shirt & jacket are supposed to clash, but COME ON.
The backing group is just absurd; the chorus girls in white dresses just make Rod look IMPOSSIBLY old (and they're all kinda modeled after Rod's various past wives.)
I fully realize I haven't said much here about the actual SONG - "One More Time" - that the band played, but I think the less said about the tune the better. (One bright moment: rhyming "au revoir" with "Jag-u-ar." That's kinda vintage Rod Stewart.) (On the other hand, the first verse is a direct cop of Bob Dylan's by-way-of-some-old-traditional-folk-song "Mama You Been On My Mind" that Stewart covered in his early 1970's heyday.)
What's killing me is that in that 70's heyday Rod Stewart was one of my Top Ten Rock Stars Ever, if not Top Five. I saw The Faces A BUNCH back in the early to mid-70's and they were INVARIABLY on the fucking rock & roll money; endlessly rocking, killer ballads, TREMENDOUS stage presence, drunk on their asses, loose as hell onstage but playing supremely TIGHT, if that makes any sense.
I have repeatedly made - and been belittled for - the statement that Rod Stewart just might posess THE GREATEST rock & roll singing voice of ALL TIME, and I mean it. He's better than Roger Daltrey, he's better than Bruce Springsteen, he's better than Joe Strummer, he's better than Ian Hunter, and those are my four runners-up.
But wait, my tense is all wong here: Rod Stewart HAD the greatest singing voice of all time, but that time might be 40 years in the past, as Kyle stated in his e-mail. Now he's just another Entertainment Industry Hackmeister, and it breaks my heart. Rock & roll music was never supposed to be Show Business, but sadly now it is. It was supposed to be noise, anarchy & rebellion itself. It was supposed to be loud guitars & drums and somebody screaming their guts out when they weren't warming your heart with a song about their Best Girl. (Is my 1960's rock & roll upbringing shining through a bit too strongly here?)
Okay, let's wind this up: I wouldn't walk out in my backyard to see The Rolling Stones at this point, but at least they're savvy enough to not go on late-night and humiliate themselves doing feeble attempted soccer kicks that look like they might result in a broken hip at any given moment.
On Sunday, November 14, 2021, 08:24:32 PM EST, Jeremy Porter <> wrote:
Subject: Rod Stewart; the horror, the horror
For the sake of a more interesting piece, I'll play the other side and say that I didn't find it that offensive. I mean, it's not good - yeah, the young girls playing behind him is a weird/odd dynamic, borderline disturbing, the song is formulaic modern-day AOR pop, very little redeeming about it, certainly nothing edgy or exciting, and Rod looks a bit like a puppet, acting engaged to get a paycheck, but I don't find it much worse than anything he's done in the last 20, 30 years (tho I can't name a single song TBH).
One thing it's not, and that's self-indulgent, and that may put him a notch ahead of that last WHO record that really didn't have to be made. They can't all be Springsteen after all, and yeah Rod was the coolest in the late ‘60s/’70s, but if I had to I'd take this over Elton John Disney drivel or Clapton hypocritical sterile white-blues-grumpy-old-man-bullshit.
The worst thing about it is that it's Rod, but Rod the Mod left the building in 1978, didn't he?
(PS I'm casually looking for a Stones ticket for Detroit tomorrow); P xx