So I got one of the regular “Did you just log into Facebook from Dallas, Texas?” messages on my phone.
I clicked the “No, that wasn’t me button.”
It responded “Your account has been disabled.”
I tried to log back in with both my e-mail and my phone number. I have two step authentication in place to protect against this sort of thing.
It didn’t work. It appears that just like the city of Akron to Chrissie Hynde, my Facebook page is gone. Just like that. All the pictures and rants and videos and like everything. And to be clear, I’m a benign FB user. I don’t battle with folks. Ok, maybe about how I think Paul Stanley’s solo album is better than Ace‘s but that’s hardly grounds for dismissal. Also, I understand I have no inherent “free speech” right to remain on any specific social media platform. These are private clubs that reserve the right to kick you out just because they don’t like the cut of your jib.
Remember when El Presidente whined about losing his “free speech” while promoting violence online before January 6th?
I said it then and I will say it now. If you repeatedly act like a complete jackass at a bar and start threatening people, there is a good chance they are going to throw you out of the bar. Difference is that President tool and Elon Nutz can go purchase their own bar and keep running their mouths. As for the rest of us…
But you know what, I don’t really care. I’m surprised how little I care. Sure, lots of memories went up in smoke but when you die they all go up in smoke. Hell, entire civilizations have vanished into dust. Why do my insignificant life events deserve to live in perpetuity? And folks lived without Facebook for a long time and did fine. Some of my friends have never joined any social media.
Or put another way: Facebook is just a giant digital junk drawer full of stuff you don’t need but cannot bear to throw out. The difference is Facebook pulls something out of that drawer everyday and jams it in your face. “Remember this ticket stub when you saw Cheap Trick at Vet’s Memorial?” “Your son shooting a free throw in 5th grade”
I cannot even think of a third example but there are thousands. Suddenly it seems what meant so much means nothing at all. Although, I do miss the rock n roll chit chat with all my online friends. Turns out that meant something.
However, to add a little more sand kicked in my Facebook from Maga bully Mark Zuckerberg, my Colin’s Coffee page was also hijacked at the same time and is now titled UK Singerz. Same followers and reviews with a link to Pencil Storm and everything. Except instead of pictures of Tony making a Golden Bear Latte, there are multiple pictures of Lana Del Ray. Go figure.
I’m not going to dismiss the seriousness of losing this promotional business link to the consuming public. It’s not great. I’ve moved most of my activity to Instagram in the past few years, but it’s like going blind in one eye. You can still manage fine, but I’m down to one good eye.
The pages with multiple administrators live on. Only I got deleted. Colin Gawel and Colin’s Coffee are survived by: Watershed, Colin Gawel League Bowlers, Pencil Storm, Shadowlords - The Willie Phoenix Fan Pages, Reelin and Rockin’.
The Kinks Best Songs, Ranked by Steven Hyden
As a rock nerd who once ranked every Cheap Trick song, I love me some subjective song rankings. I’ll read almost any ranking but when one of my favorite writers does a deep dive on one of my favorite bands, it is serious f-ing business. Until recently this had only happened one time in my life, when Chuck Klosterman got unchained and ranked the Van Halen catalog.
But now..the great Steven Hyden (I read all his books, listen to his podcasts, watch his documentaries) chimed in with his top fifty Kinks songs.
To call this a list does it a disservice. It is possibly the best piece of music criticism I have ever read. Or certainly on par with my ranking of the best 39 Billy Squier songs. I kid. All Kinks fans should read and reread the entire list here. No spoilers here but I pulled a few highlights for your pleasure. Actually, probably for my pleasure.
Opening…
”If you are content with your lot in life, you are a sucker. But if you strive for something better, you are pathetic.”
I read this and instantly shared with my fellow bandmates of 40 years, “Is it me or does this quote perfectly describe the Watershed ethos or philosophy or whatever it is called?”
They agreed it’s pretty damn close.
We can discuss further over a beer or coffee but when kids start a band in middle school and keep plugging their entire lives together, one does notice we tend to act differently than other bands with a more traditional background. This quote hit the Watershed nail on the head.
Destroyer
“I like this period of The Kinks, particularly the run of underrated early ’80s albums kickstarted by Give The People What They Want. But there’s no denying that they dumbed down considerably during these years. The album title wasn’t wholly ironic — Give The People What They Want sounds like a thinking-man’s Kiss record, which is what a lot of ticket-buying American rock fans wanted at the time.”
Boom. Mind blown. I took the #2 bus down High Street in 5th grade to buy Give The People What They Want at the record stores on the Ohio State Campus. To me, the ‘80’s Kinks did get played alongside KISS when I was a kid. Elementary school was the age-appropriate time to crank up Love Gun. I was probably too young to hear “Art Lover” but I loved it all the same. The Kinks had a major impact on my young creative brain moving forward towards my celibate high school years.
Animal Farm - the end of reading
Recently, I was on the treadmill listening to the podcast Plain English and the topic was “The End of Reading”. I guess no kids read entire books anymore. Even Ivy League rich kids. They used the book Animal Farm as an example. Kids just read a story about the book. They don’t actually read it.
In fairness, though I still read entire books all the time, I cannot remember reading Animal Farm either.
But this song has the same name.
“That “Living On A Thin Line” wound up on a Kinks record that most people have never heard and assume isn’t very good - incorrect assumption, by the way, about my beloved Word Of Mouth - would have be a cruel fate had The Sopranos not rescued it from obscurity”
Well Respected Man
David Chase originally wanted to use this as The Sopranos theme song. On one hand, it is infinitely superior to Alabama 3’s “Woke Up This Morning,” which (let’s be real) sounds like Smash Mouth’s Achtung Baby period. But on the other hand, Tony Soprano hardly ever was home by 5:30. (Unless we mean 5:30 in the morning.)
Strangers
It puts the high lonesome Dave Davies voice at center stage, which helps. But “Strangers” also articulates, I believe, what’s in Ray’s heart with more clarity than Ray himself would ever dare. So many of his songs are about yearning for connection, but he’s typically writing about other people. But in “Strangers,” Dave aspires to bridge the real-life gap.