Your Pencil Storm prognosticators are back for another season of Friday bets for real. These are actual bets placed by actual people. However, it is important to remember that we are not encouraging you to follow our lead and gamble your hard earned money away on our behalf. But it is also important to remember that “winners play and players win baby!” Ok, let’s do this.
Jeremy Porter (Musician, fast-food Mexican connoisseur, terrible gambler, Pencil Storm Co-Editor in Chief)
I couldn’t be more disappointed by the teams that made it to this year’s game. Yawnsville. There are 30 other teams I’d rather watch. Tag on some added disappointment by AMERICA’S TEAM the Detroit Lions’ crappy playoff performance and let’s just say that, even as an NFL-megafan, I am not too excited about the Super Bowl this year. All that said, the degenerate gambler in me has that little pre-big-game tingle and I’m eyeing up the bets.
KC is my gambling nemesis. I rarely win when they’re involved, and it doesn’t matter if it’s win, lose, against the spread, money line…whatever. But dang -1.5 seems like a good bet. I don’t want them to win, but I think they will, so I’ll bet with my head and root with heart for Philly.
Mahomes at +212 for throwing 3 or more TDs isn’t a lock, but attractive, nonetheless. Hurts at +161 for throwing 2 is almost as attractive.
For fun props, +2500 that there will be an onside kick seems worth a couple bucks. Then for kicks, I took a DraftKings suggested parlay of KC money line, KC +24.5 points, and KC 2.5+ TDs for +170.
And my lock is: Jeremy will not watch the lame-ass, lip-sych halftime show -350 for a million bucks.
Big $ (Pencil Storm Cleveland Browns Beat Writer)
As often as I curse gambling, this is a time I am very grateful for its existence. Without some wagers, I may be tuned into the Puppy Bowl and bowling rather than the fighting Swifties and a Philly team on Sunday.
Alas, I'll be rooting for my wagers:
Chiefs player props:
Ertz and the commanders proved that Fangino will give up the intermediate and the flats. With that said, I think the Eagles will have a plan for Kelce (Cooper D) thus I'm sprinkling on other options:
Pacheco over 15 rec yards
Noah Gray over 15 rec yds
Deandre Hopkins over 15 rec yds
parlay these for +1700
Eagles player props:
Spags will be focused on Barkley and AJ, So I think DeVonta may get over the top, and Saquon will to get to the flat.
DeVonta Smith over 60 rec YDS
Saquon Barkley over 15 rec yds
Dallas Goedert over 40 rec yds
Parlay these to + 495
MVP
Im big game hunting, DeVonta may be the fella Spags overlooks:
DeVonta Smith +6500
As for the game, I prefer Philly Scumbag fans to Swifties
Eagles +1.5
Enjoy, fade or tail
Ricki C. (Musician, roadie, Pencil Storm copy-editor)
I don’t gamble much on sports anymore, and never with those jag-off on-line betting services because I don’t understand all the lingo required (i.e. -135, +15, plutonium-239, etc.). All that looks like this to my Boomer-musician eyes - kj,,s,dsjh63’.74nsh45shd,f.
I’m rooting for the Chiefs on accounta I like the idea of a three-peat, something that’s never been done before in the NFL, and it’d be cool if it happened in my - admittedly limited - lifetime.
(p.s. Fuck Trump for going to the game; can you IMAGINE what the lines to get into the stadium are gonna be like with Secret-Service-level shakedowns at the turnstiles?) (And what does he think, he’s gonna get to throw out the first pitch?)
Colin Gawel (Colin’s Coffee, Pencilstorm, Musician at Watershed)
Would you like some unsolicited gambling advice? Someone started a lottery club at Colin’s Coffee over 15 years ago and every month six of us chip in $20 to try and hit the big time. Do you know how much money we have won during this time? $0.00. It is truly the idiot tax but once you are in this deep there is no walking away. I will be paying this tax to my grave. So my advice is do not join a lottery club.
In related news, this month we are putting our $120 lottery money on Eagles money line. No thought went into this pick. If we hit, it covers our idiot tax for March.
Brian Phillips (Host of the Morning Show Rewind 103.5 FM)
OG (Baller, Sharp)
Anytime TD Hurts/Hunt/Barkley/Kelce +1700
JuJu + 25 receiving yards, Hurts +25 rushing , Smith +25 receiving yards, Mahomes +25 yards rushing +500
Ben Galli ( Pstorm NBA Beat Writer)
Saquon Barkley anytime td scorer and 130+ rush and rec Run, Eagles, Run. This is going to be the Saquon Super Bowl. We’ve all seen that guy play since college. Most impressive quads in the sport. The Chiefs will not be able to contain him, I predict. He won’t single-handedly bring running back contracts to pre-pandemic levels, but they will get drafted high first in fantasy again.
For the hoops enthusiasts, probably safe to say you can take Luka Doncic to hit the over on everything Saturday against the Pacers. That dude has a Kobeesque, or Michaelavillian, killer instinct and he will be sure to put the fat-shamers to shame.