The North Coast Posse are Back for Another Season of Browns Football

The North Coast Posse are a top five twitter follow for the Cleveland Browns @northcoastposse

The NCP has new blood.  K-Dubs, the Soldier has been jumped out of the gang, and he needed an ass whoopin’ after his arrest this summer.  We wish him the worst as he goes from the Boston Market to the San Quentin salad bar. Punter Supreme joins the squad for 2018 to answer questions from Pencil Storm

 

  1. Having the Browns on Hard Knocks has been a blast. Who were the winners and losers of the HBO series?  Who looks good / bad ? Offense? Defense? Cajuste? 

 Big $: For my mental health I have come to the conclusion that OL coach, Bob Wylie, was simply a character actor paid by HBO to add color to the program. While the country was giggling at his jiggling, I was simply mortified that this jag-off was the leader of an instrumental cog of a professional football franchise. Animal videos???? Championing jumping jacks??? You have to be freaking kidding me. This guy drove me crazy and its no surprise that a quick look at his coaching career shows that he has been tied to Hue at the hip.

 As for who looked good? I’d say it’s a tie between Carl Nassib’s financial institution and Cajuste (so the ladies say).

 2) Cleveland is absolutely hyped for the opening game against the Steelers. Even nosebleed tiks in the alcohol free zone are going for $150. Can the Browns win this game or should people hold out for 50 yard line tickets for $20 by October?

 Punter Supreme: Hell yes, the Browns can win this one.  Sure, history is against them. They have not won a season opener since 2004, and unbelievably (and so how completely believably) Ben Roethlisberger is the all-time leader in wins by any QB (including Browns’ QBs) at First Energy Stadium.  Throw out all of that. This is a brand-new era. Unlike all the previous new eras. I mean it this time. The team has a new front office that has a track record of success, a new offensive coordinator in Todd Haley that directed an explosive Steelers’ attack the last few years, and nearly half a new roster that gives them quality depth at key positions.  

 Chances for victory got better this week because Pittsburgh’s all-world running back, Le’Veon Bell, is still a contract holdout and will not play.  In his place, they are starting James Conner, a second-year player that has just 32 career carries. The Steelers still have Big Ben and wide receiver Antonio Brown, who is as close to unstoppable as it gets.  But the Browns have a lot more strength in the defensive backfield this year. Keep an eye on AB’s match-ups with Cleveland rookie and Buckeye product Denzel Ward.

 Still, Charlie Brown had a lot hope every time Lucy teed up the football for him, but he always ended up with heartbreak and a red ass.  I’ll be watching from the couch this Sunday, sipping some Four String, waiting this team to prove me right. If all goes right, you’ll be saving up for the $150 nose-bleeds in December.  

 Big $: My biggest concern is Desmond Harrison getting his first start at LT. If he plays like an undrafted rookie who was dinged up a bunch in the preseason, it’s a loss, regardless of how the other 21 starters play. I can not stress how concerned I am about this kid playing the most important position on the field, Left Tackles have to be grinders who love football. Harrison showed up to the combine and did (gasp) 10 reps (gasp) of 225 on the bench. If he put in even a sliver of effort at his size, he would throw up a ho-hum 20 in his sleep. I have seen people champion his 4.78 40 time, but I think this is a shaky barometer considering LT stalwarts like JT and Jason Peters ran 4.9 plus. The lack of a quality strategy to replace 73 may be the anchor on the season.

 

  1. The Browns projected win total is 5.5. Would you take the over / under and what are the must wins on the schedule. 

 

Big $: The NFL is designed for each team to go 8-8 each year, which is what makes the 1-31 streak even more unbelievable. With that said, there isn’t enough kool aid in the cupboard to make me believe this team is winning 8 games. 6 or 7 wins would be highly optimistic, but due to my OL concerns I’m leaning towards pessimism, I’ll take the under all day.

 Punter Supreme: I’m feeling over … by a hair.  Like Big $ said, the biggest question mark is how the team will replace the retired Joe Thomas at left tackle.  Many of the reps there during camp have gone to starting left guard Joel Bitonio, with rookie Austin Corbett sliding in to Bitonio’s place.  There are some concerns that Bitonio, who is a solid guard, does not have the size to anchor the left edge on the reg. The staff is high on Harrison to take over at tackle, but he was very uneven in the last preseason game.  If he or Greg Robinson, the 2nd overall pick of the 2014 draft, can make the most of his shot, Bitonio can move back inside. Once Hue can figure out the best five start on the line, the Browns should be able to get the running game rolling with RBs Carlos Hyde and rookie Nick Chubb.  If they can keep the heat off new QB Tyrod Taylor, the O will put up more points this season. Last year, the three quarterbacks on the roster had a combined NFL win total of zero, and the wide receiver with the most catches was Rashard Higgins with 27. This year, Taylor, who led the Bills to the playoffs last year, will be throwing to former Dolphin Jarvis Landry, who has caught at least 84 balls in each of his four years in the league, a returning Josh Gordon, and rookie Antonio Callaway, who is a dude that can go the distance whenever he has the rock.  Duke Johnson returns too, and he’s Crisco greasy. Expect a breakout year from second-year TE David Njoku, who will reap the benefit of having more speed on the outside, and he will no doubt emerge as a top red-zone target in the league. I know there is a lot of “ifs” but this is Week 1, and there ain’t nothin’ but “ifs” for the whole league.

 I think the defense will be the strength of the team.  D-end Miles Garrett will have a lot of big Sundays, and with Emmanuel Ogbah on the other side, the Browns should disrupt the passing game a lot better this year, especially with the help of a revamped secondary that includes Ward, Terrance Mitchell, Demarious Randall, T.J. Carrie, and E.J. Gaines.  Hopefully ballhawk Jamie Collins will stay healthy for the whole year. I just can’t see anything but improvement from the minus 28 turnover margin that we endured last year. More points on O and more turnovers on D, should get them to at least 6 wins.

 4) How long does Hue Jackson survive? 

 Big$: There are few to any excuses for going 1-31 over a 2 year span. Sashi demolished the roster, but Hue’s coaching blunders were evident whether it be depth chart decisions or clock management. Even with this current reality, Jimmy Haslam seems to value Hue’s leadership. At this point,  I cannot imagine a catastrophe big enough for Jimmy to pull the trigger. However…… If Jimmy washes his hands Pontius Pilate style and leaves the decision to Johnny D, I believe 2-5 would get Hue the axe. At that point we would see Coach Haley leading the team into week 8.

 Punter Supreme: Amen.  Teflon Jackson has somehow kept his job during the absolute worst stretch in NFL history, but a bad first half of the season after the complete overhaul of the roster and front office should put his tenure to an end.

 5) How long until Baker starts under center?

Punter Supreme: God I hope we don’t see Baker in any meaningful time until at least 2019.  If we do, that means the season has already gone to shit.

Big$: Full disclosure, I would be way more pumped for this season if Baker was starting. I celebrate the young man’s entire catalog, However, if Hue insists on starting a LT who repped out at 10 on the 225 bench press, it may be best if we protect the future of the franchise. I agree with PS, if Baker is playing the season is on the skids.

Big $ and Brian Phillips Talk Browns v Seahawks - by Jeff Hassler

Hey guys! Hassler here. It's sort of a touchy week around the Pencilstorm offices, because not only is the spiked eggnog flowing, but we got an NFL Civil War happening this Sunday. Big $ and K-Dubs the Soldier from the North Coast Posse will be cheering on their beloved Brownies while Brian Phillips will be rooting on his Seattle Seahawks. Personally I have no dog in this fight, as my favorite teams are the Patriots and Packers. I'm also a big Tony Romo fan so when he plays I pull for the Cowboys. Anyway, I thought it would be fun if I asked Big $ and Brian about this week's games and maybe see if we could all meet up to watch somewhere. I'm totally free. Let's get this party started!


Hassler: Both these teams are led by young, star quarterbacks in Johnny Manziel and Russell Wilson.  Which team has the advantage under center or is it pretty much a wash?

Brian -  Are you high, Hassler? Let's start with the fact that Wilson's only known vices are his obsessive abstinence, relentless Bible-quoting, and visiting sick kids on Tuesdays. Somehow through all that he's mastered his offense despite having a group of skill players made up mostly of guys who weren't even drafted. Two of his offensive lineman didn't even play on the line in college. His top two running backs are out now, you think he cares? Over the past three games he's hardly had to run at all. He's getting the ball out of his hands at a Tom Brady speed of somewhere around 2.2 seconds on average. Manziel, meanwhile, leads the league in apologies and regret. This clown will have to rub his fingers together a lot harder if he ever hopes to make the kind of coin Wilson is making. 

Big $ - Well, since you flashed the money sign at me the last time we passed each other at Colin's Coffee, Hassler, I have a pretty good idea where you fall in this debate. However, football I.Q. , work ethic and character are three components of a successful signal caller, and Russell runs laps round Jff in those areas.

Hassler -  Brian, I'm not high and just in case anybody from the agency is reading this, Brian was JUST KIDDING. So I'm not high, but the Browns remind me of the Seahawks just a couple of years ago. Sure they are struggling now, but with all these high draft picks it shouldn't be long before they end up in a Super Bowl. How long before Manziel gets a ring?

Brian -  What? The Browns remind me of the Seattle Mariners, actually. A litany of poor draft picks, head scratching signings.....one manager after another. Dopey owner. Idiot GM. The Browns should be seized by the league and owner Jimmy Haslam should be thrown in prison. Did you know they're paying Dwayne Bowe $4.5 million a year? This has to be some sort of money-laundering scheme. That's the only way it makes sense. Sure the Browns have a high pick coming again but what makes you think they'll use it wisely? Not me. If Hackenburg leaves Penn State they'll probably take him. Manziel wins 3rd place in a College Station golf scramble maybe, but never a ring. Not gonna happen, pal.

Big $ -  Surprisingly, I do believe Johnny will bring Cleveland a ring. Once his NFL tenure ends (sooner rather then later), the marketing guru that is Dan Gilbert will bring him to his rightful home in the Arena League. I fully expect Manziel will sling the Gladiators a ring no later then 2018.

Hassler -  It would be sweet if the L.A. KISS signed Manziel. Maybe KISS could rewrite the words to.... "God of Football." Or they could just use "King of the Night Time World" as is. Just sayin'.  Brian, I hate to be a pain, but you still owe me a six pack of Bud Light from the Super Bowl last year when my Patriots stuffed beast mode just like I predicted at the Pencilstorm Christmas Party. Can the Seahawks get back to the big game again this season? And can I get that beer soon? I'm sorta broke. Just sayin'.

Brian - Cripes. As I told you at the time, no one over the age of 13 should have more than one favorite team in any sport. It's embarrassing. I'll tell you what, Hassler. I'll give you 21 points Sunday and if I lose I'll buy you a whole keg of Bud Light and have it delivered draft night so you can drown your sorrows. Anyway... Sure the Hawks can get back, but it's going to be tough. Carolina and the Cards are really good this year. I'm realistic. Just enjoying the ride. Kind of like you and the Patriots.

Hassler - How do you guys see this game playing out and where are you watching it? Maybe we could all get together somewhere? My ex-Kim has the cats this weekend so I'm totally free if you want to meet up. 

Brian - Watching at home. My wife hates you. I'd watch it with you but you'd just wear your Brady jersey. That's lame. 

Big $ -  I fully expect the Seahawks to win by 17 and I predict Ahtya Rubin will inflict some serious pain on #2. As for where I'm watching the game Jeff, I know I'm gonna regret this but the NCP will be at Patrick J's in Clintonville.

Is This Week the Low Point in Browns History? The NCP Ponder the Question.

Last Monday night, the current Browns lost to the former Browns on a blocked field goal return on the last play of the game. This week, the topic of how bad the Cleveland Browns organization is has been a major story on ESPN. Is this the worst Browns team ever and is this the low point in team history?

There is just so much terrible football to consider. If we are talking specific line-ups, I think anytime Ken Dorsey is at the helm of your offense, that is both the worst team and lowest point. However, if we are talking collective eras, I would say this Island of Misfit Toys takes the cake. When you’re reduced to hiring your 14th choice at head coach and you match him with a novice G.M. (whom he has no rapport with), the odds are against success. Rather than augment this inexperience with some front office veterans and seasoned coordinators, the opposite occurred and the results have been nauseating. Top this sundae of football ineptitude off with the cherry of jettisoning solid guys like Hoyer, Sheard and Rubin while pandering to a midget Q.B. whose lifestyle leans more towards C.C. Deville than Tom Brady and voila!: you have the suckiest bunch of sucks ever to grace the Brown and Orange. I cannot, however, say this is the lowest point, because I don’t think this S-show has bottomed out quite yet. To paraphrase the mighty Quinn Fallon, “It's not the end of the world, but I can see it from here.” Expect the lowest point to be arriving sometime in late December.

If you were the GM, what would the plan be and what is the soonest fans could expect a playoff contending team?

"Chill Browns fans, it's all good." - Johnny Manzeil

"Chill Browns fans, it's all good." - Johnny Manzeil

I’ve been checking my phone and email consistently, and I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be getting the actual call, so I’m going at this question in 100% fanboy fashion. My first call is to Jim Tressel, with the understanding that he is to work day and night on translating Tressel ball to the NFL. At the very least, I know the horrific special team play will cease. Next, I ignore the Trent curse and draft Zeke in the first round. The current state of the Browns offense will not support a franchise QB, and I think Elliot needs much less around him to make an immediate impact. The rest of the draft will be used to bolster the offense, specifically at W.R. On defense, it’s clear that Danny Shelton cannot control the 0-3 gaps on his own, so a switch back to a 4-3 is necessary. This will also benefit Armonty Bryant, who I am a fan of. It probably goes without saying that Johnny’s stuff would be packed and shipped to a bar in Texas before the ink on my contract is dry. Actually I may drive JF’s stuff down there myself, and stop in Houston to try and convince Hoyer to return, LBJ style. The end result of my general managing (using Tressel math) should be a Super Bowl in 2 years and an unprecedented run of success against Pittsburgh.

The Browns finally re-signed Terrelle Pryor after cutting him for a guy that never played a down for the team. Are we rooting for TP to get a chance to play a game under center before the season ends?

To use S.A.T. terminology, T.P. is to me as Johnny is to his gaggle of apologists. I am pumped to watch him get an opportunity to showcase his considerable athletic ability with the Browns, and if that is at Q.B., so be it.

If Browns fans had to choose between the Bengals or Steelers to win the Super Bowl, who would it be? And you can't say neither either.

The Steelers, hands down. The Rooneys were the only owners who voted against the Browns move.

Any chance this week?

I am card carrying member of #Austinsarmy, and would love to see him build on his solid performance on Monday. Unfortunately, the frigg’n Bengals have proven they are a far superior football team top to bottom. So, in a word, no.

Bengals 28 Browns 17.

Big $ of the NCP ponders...So what if Johnny wasn't white???

During my time at Pencilstorm, I have made no secret about my disdain for the Browns drafting Johnny Manziel. A hefty percentage of this disdain is rooted purely in football deficiencies. He cannot play in structure, has zero playbook experience, is slight in stature and suffers from misguided confidence. With Johnny though, you also get a second list of cons based on personality and off-the-field issues to add to the playing weaknesses.

Somehow, even with this laundry list of negatives he has garnered the adoration of a large percentage of Browns fans (jersey sales don't lie). I, for one, am wildly confused by this phenomenon.

So in the midst of this confusion, I took time to ponder, "What if Johnny looked different?" I'm not talking about him inking a deal with pro activ, I'm talking about his race. What if Johnny maintained his baggage but was African-American? Would Cleveland fans still ignore and justify his negatives? Would they still have celebrated his arrival with such crazed anticipation?

To make things interesting, I'm going to actually assign a specific person that he could assume the body of. Imagining how Johnny would be received by Browns fans if he had braids or gold teeth would be like shooting fish in a barrel. The Johnny to imagine for the remainder of this diatribe is Braylon Edwards. So take a walk into fantasy land with me as we consider if "Braylon Football" would be wildly popular in Cleveland if the last 16 months of his life maintained this timeline:

August 2013 - A Sports Illustrated article highlights his entitled background and petulant ways.

August 2013- Receives a tickle on the wrist for signing autographs, an offense that cost other players significant playing time and NFL money (including some Buckeyes).

August 2013- Returns from 1st half wrist tickle against Rice, and receives taunting penalties for his, ahem, "lack of on-field sportsmanship."

August - December 2013- Sees his output decline but his draft stock improve due to no other college qb's excelling.

May 2014 - Begins to slide in draft, and in desperation sends a "lets wreck this league" text to a team which happens to catch the fancy of an owner who is of the same cultural and economic background that he is. That owner demands that he be drafted.

Summer 2014 - Even though he his severely handicapped by his lack of playbook experience, he chooses to escape Browns training camp at every opportunity to party. Several saucy pics surface, including one that shows him about to partake in a certain nasal stimulant.

Summer 2014 - During a pre-season game, he decides to greet an opposing team with a single extended finger.

November 2014 - Is involved in a brawl the weekend of a road game.

November 2014 - Reports surface that he free lances in practice and isn't committed to learning the playbook, etc. Cameras catch him arriving at games at the last possible second, even though he is expected to see some playing time.

November 2014 - Enters a game and runs for a T.D. Even though his team is still down by two scores he decides to flash a money sign to the opposing crowd.

December 2014 - In response to being called a midget, he finds a way to compare himself to Super Bowl champion and perennial MVP candidate, Drew Brees. At the time of this comparison, Johnny has 0 NFL wins.

December 2014 - Is flat out embarrassed in his first start.

I'm not a sociologist, but I grew up in Cleveland and have been an avid C town sports fan since I first learned to walk. There is no way I believe that "Braylon Football" would enjoy even a fraction of the popularity that Johnny has had handed to him since he was drafted. As a matter of fact, I assume his first round drafting would have been widely lampooned and questioned. Where Braylon would have been admonished for being irresponsible, Johnny has been applauded for enjoying his youth. Where Braylon would be a team killer, Johnny is seen as a master of improv.

This is simply my opinion, and outside of some "Soul Man/C. Thomas Howell-esque" experiment there will never be any concrete evidence to support my Johnny vs. Braylon Football hypothesis. I also know this opinion may be hard to swallow for some Cleveland sports fans. However, if one is truly honest with themselves and examines the plight of African American qb's  cross-referenced with Johnny's history, it's hard not to identify a double standard in the Cleveland-Manziel phenomenon.

The North Coast Posse are Big $ and K-Dubs the Soldier. They cover the Bronwns exclusively for Pencilstorm. Follow them on twitter @northcoastposse.