Top Ten Awesome Things About 2013 by Wal Ozello

Top Ten Awesome Things About 2013

At the end of the year, people make lists. Lists of best Sporting Moments, Entertainment Moments, Songs, Movies, etc. I believe that 2013 was an awesome year, one of the most awesome in a long time.

So here, below, is my take on the most awesome things in 2013. 

1) Catholic Church selects its first pope that actually talks and acts like Jesus. Pope Francis is definitely awesome. Not only does he say the most inspirational things and encourage us to be more human, kind, and loving to each other, the guy actually practices what he preaches. For example, instead of living in the Pope Palace, he’s decided to live in more humble apartment on the Vatican campus. Good things are in our future because of this guy.

2) Rush was inducted into the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. Okay, they are Canadian but they are the three most amazing musicians ever, and they all play in the same band together! How they’ve been shunned by the Rock Hall for over 10 years is beyond the 10 millions of fans they attract. This induction showed that the fans opinion really matters, that musicianship and talent really matters, and that the people who pick the Hall of Famers do have an ounce of intelligence in their brains. 

3) President Obama goes from our first black president to being just the president. Barack Obama being elected our first black president was an amazing historic event, but what’s even more amazing is that eventually we stopped talking about him being black and just talked about him being president. I don’t think the color of his skin is the most dominant thing about him anymore. Now he’s getting beaten up by the Republicans just like every other white Democratic president before him. That’s a step forward in equal rights.

4) Jennifer Lawrence becomes the first mega-celebrity of the century who is not an asshole. This was a huge year for Jennifer Lawrence. She’s a great actress and starred in just about every awesome movie that was released in 2013. We’d expect this to be followed with reports of her driving crazy drunk, shoplifting, naming her baby some bizarre name, etc., etc., etc. Instead she shunned all that and tried to stay as normal as could be. We haven’t had a celebrity like this since Michael J. Fox in the 1980s.

5) We found Iran’s phone number. We’ve gone decades not talking to Iran. They’ve hated us, we’ve hated them. But while Congress was complaining about Obamacare and the economy, the Executive Branch started opening up some dialogue with Iran and had some conversations that may lead to more conversations about them not using Nuclear Arms and us dissolving some economic sanctions. This is what a world power should do – reach out to the crazy little guy and build some bridges. Maybe they won’t be that crazy anymore.

6) Divorce rates may go down now that Gay Marriage is legal in over a third of the U.S. That’s right folks, 18 states have legalized gay marriage and few more recognize out-of- state gay marriages. Do the math, that’s 36% of the states in our union. Furthermore, the U.S. Supreme Court said the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act was illegal. This is awesome for civil rights, great for humanity, and frankly good for the economy.

7) Ohio State Buckeyes beat that team up North, again. Sure, we didn’t have an undefeated season and fell out of the National Championship, but we’re still going to the Orange Bowl and we beat the Wolverines. That’s awesome. Frankly, I’m one of those people that believe even if we have a 1-11 season, it’s still an awesome thing as long as that one win is against the whores from Ann Arbor. 

8) Most unproductive Congress in modern history. The 113th Congress passed a total of 65 laws including measures like post-office renaming and commemorative-coin authorizations. Why is this awesome? Would you trust this Congress to do anything right? The less laws they passed the better off we are.

9) Casting begins for next Star Wars movie. If you don’t think this is Awesome than maybe you don’t understand what Awesome really is.

10) End of the year proves that 2014 will be better than 2013. We had a great last quarter in 2013. Repubs and Dems actually talked to each other and passed a budget to last two years. That’s awesome. We added a bunch of jobs in November and had the lowest unemployment rate in four years. That’s awesome. If we keep this momentum going into 2014, then things are only going to get better. And that’s truly awesome.

You may not agree with all the things on my list, or might find some of the things I said offensive, but it’s my list. Feel free to create your own. But what I think is inarguable is that 2013 was awesome, and we are positioned to make 2014 even better – if we all try to.

Wal Ozello is the author of Assignment 1989: The Time Travel Wars and is the lead singer of the Columbus hairband Armada. He's a resident of Upper Arlington, Ohio and a frequent customer at Colin's Coffee.